There are times I wish I could just get a "Do Over."
You know - the "Damned if you do, Damned if you don't" scenario?
I don't have internet at the cabin. It's cell data only, and sometimes spotty at best.
And after spending all day at the QPO (Where internet is very slow, one step up from dial up basically - thank you CenturyFink!) I really don't spend much after-work time staring at my phone once I'm home.
I will fix dinner, play with the dog, do a load of laundry, watch some TV at night. And if the TV is on, I'm not going to miss what's on while staring at my phone. I’d rather have real in-person conversations.
I've always allowed myself a bit of time before turning out the lights in bed to flip through my news feed to see what is up with others, but yesterday - oh, yesterday.
I feel like I stepped in dog doo and didn't know it all day long until after dinner time.
Evidently through social media, musicians and artists started posting just plain black squares in solidarity of George Flyod and Black Lives Matter.
And then it went through the quilting community (and others too) all joining in, and if you didn't post a black square, well you are evidently a racist.
Yesterday I posted this quote of the day - the first thing I do every morning as I get my day going. My own way to deal with the turmoil in my immediate world.
So this is in my feed INSTEAD of the black out square. And now people are taking it as me posting it in defiance OF the black square.
And then I posted my blog - as I usually do. Also in the perceived defiance of "staying silent" on social media. Because - I don't spend all day in my feed reading other people's posts. I have things I need to do. You might say I go through my day head down with blinders on until my "to do" list is done.
Click to Play:
Yesterday I took Zoey on a hike up to Grayson Highlands state park. - I posted this video of a running creek with burbling little water fall. But I was supposed to be silent on social media.
Yet, I didn’t know it. Because – frankly my heart was focused on the fact that yesterday, June 2nd was my daughter Heather’s birthday. She has been gone 38 years. And yet this day is always a hard one for me, but I was determined to not let it take me under. I needed nature. So my mind on my daughter, and oblivious to black square - we hiked.
And we hiked.
I love these mountain streams.
We put in about 3 miles.
Later in the afternoon I posted a photo of what I'm doing for the back of Casden's quilt.
playing with some Wordplay Improv Letters.
To go in the back of Casden’s quilt.
I get home. Start dinner. Finally thumb through my feed -
I agree with solidarity, but what to do now? Oh, no! I quickly put up a black square. At 7pm.
I tagged it #blackouttuesday and #blacklivesmatter and within minutes I am told to remove the #blacklivesmatter tag as it is not to be used for this purpose. Evidently there are hash-tag police out there. (It’s an important tag, I get it – but this is me who never got the memo.)
So I threw my hands up in the air and deleted the whole black square post. I’d blown it all day long – unaware?
Was I supposed to also go back and delete all of the other things I had blatantly posted through the day? Could I leave them there?
I REALLY REALLY REALLY understand that last two things on the list. They are definitely things I can get behind and believe in. EVERY DAY in EVERY WAY.
I always believed that you can know people more by their actions than you can their words. And I vow to live my life fairly, showing respect for each person, their deserved inherent dignity as a human being.
But the above things remind me so much of that old gas crisis price gouging thing where we were told if NO ONE bought gas at all for just ONE DAY we could take the gas industry to its knees.
Did it work? No.
This black square thing also morphed into "Don't BUY ANYTHING, don't SELL ANYTHING" at all anywhere and headed off into other weird directions and tangents.
There needs to be a permanent life change. We all need to step up. To be better. To love harder. To look deeper.
And in the course of the day I lost 25 instagram readers. Because I DID or DIDN'T post the black square? Because I tagged #blacklivesmatter? Because I posted my quote of the day in the morning instead of a black square evidently offending people because I wasn't outwardly showing my support?
(Yes, I removed some shaming comments of “It’s so sad that you choose not to support us.” Judge much?)
"If you are not for us you must be against us?"
So this is my mindset today.
Yes - I understand the plight of racism. Yes, I was born into white privilege and I've done all I can to turn that for good. But it will never be enough. And I'm tired. But I will try again today.
And people want to know why I don't do Quilt-Cam anymore? I can’t. Because – I just can’t. My heart isn't in it right now.
I can’t be what people want or expect me to be. “The camera angle is wrong, I can’t hear you. The video is choppy. The cats and the traffic are distracting. It’s really annoying when you sew and the camera bounces. You talk too much, You are loud. I liked your hair better the other way. It’s not fair that you don’t host retreats for singles. What are you doing to help the handicapped? Why don't you ship internationally, what a shame. You need closed captions and a typed transcript.”
And yet I know this is NOTHING compared to what others have to face every day of their lives.
I hear you. I see you. I didn’t get the memo. I’m sorry.
But hopefully the way I live my life and treat people in this life shows a lot more about who I am than a black square in my social media feed does. Anyone can post a black square. It’s the actions that occur day in and day out without the black square that really matter.
Thanks for hearing me out.
Quiltville Quote of the Day
We need this more than ever.
I am not as articulate as you are Bonnie, but I just want to say I understand. The world will keep turning. Forget about what people say and get on with your day, doing what you love. People who know you don't need any reminders of what kind of person you are.
ReplyDeleteThe way you live your life every day is so much more important than posting a black square on social media.
ReplyDeleteI love you, Bonnie. You bring more to my life than you know.
ReplyDeletemy deal is do your best and that is what you do every day - :)
ReplyDeletejust goes to show. You can't please all of the people all of the time. Do what is right in your heart. You are not posting this blog as a political statement..It is all about QUILTING!!!
ReplyDelete👏
ReplyDeleteSo sorry. Your day to day kindness and willingness to give to and help others speaks volumes. Thank you for being the wonderful you.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I love your blog. I have been following you since day one. You have taught me soooo much in the craft that I love. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for not being political.
ReplyDeleteHey, I didn't know about it either. Of course, I'm old and don't do social media. So sorry about your daughter. It's a pain that never goes away.
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing about the internet, Bonnie. It is full of judgmental people who have nothing better to do than criticize everyone else on there. You know the old saying? You can please some of the people some of the time...on the internet, it's much harder to do. Just keep being you. We like you, just the way you are, as Mister Rodgers said. You will never be able to keep up with what you are supposed to do. I didn't know this either, but I am not that much of a joiner to follow the folks who organize these types of things. I just let it go, and stayed off of social media yesterday. Except for blogs. They are my morning "newspaper" while I have my tea. Hang in there Bonnie, you are doing fine and losing a few followers will not hurt you in the least.
ReplyDeleteTake care and after yourself
ReplyDeleteI guess I was in the wrong yesterday as well. I didn't get the memo either about the black square thing and was wondering what all these black squares were in Facebook. And you are totally right, posting a black square says nothing about your day in day out treatment of others. I was wondering about quiltcam, but if I got even half the comments you get, I wouldn't do it either. I miss seeing you on quiltcam, but I understand your decision not to do it. Hugs. Yesterday had to be really hard for you. I can't even imagine.
ReplyDeleteDo what you need to do. You need to take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteSome people don't realize that everybody doesn't LIVE on social media. So sorry they made your life a turmoil yesterday. All lives should matter. When did people stop believing that?
ReplyDeleteI spent most of yesterday gardening, going to Home Depot for supplies, making lunch, then dinner and finally sewing in the chick cave. My life doesn't revolve around social media and I carry a flip phone. So, if anyone is out of the loop-it's me.
ReplyDeleteReally no words for this. First I've heard of it on Wed June 3. All I can say is it's clear to me that not all the nutjobs are locked up. My thoughts are with you as you mourn Heather and don't give these unbalanced people the time of day.
ReplyDeleteI so understand where you are coming from today, Bonnie. A musician friend (who must've also not known about the black square) played music last night on Facebook. I thought, fun, I'll try a watch party as some of my FB friends had done in the past. One set of friends told me that they wouldn't watch because of observing Black Out Tuesday. First time I'd heard about it. I was embarrassed. But it wasn't done to hurt anyone. One of my grandchildren is on the autism spectrum and she is biracial. We worry about her interaction with her peers and with authority figures ALL THE TIME. We've started to talk with her (she will be 9 next month) about others' unjust, insensitive actions, but we worry constantly and her mom doesn't let her out of her sight. Her grandfather asked her yesterday why she was brown. Her answer....God made me that way. We love her and we want her to always be protected and happy. I don't think a black square on Facebook is going to protect her. God bless you, Bonnie, and I'm praying your pain will be lessened today.
ReplyDeleteI can only speak for myself, I enjoy reading the blog and looking quiltcam ;)
ReplyDeleteIn a world of black squares, thank you for being a light shared with us quiltvillians! Sorry for the added heartache on top of a sad memorial.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I read your blog every morning because it lifts my spirits and gets my day going. I sat across from you at the Dear Jane Retreat, and totally enjoyed your positive attitude and helpfulness in teaching me how to download music on my iPod, and learning more about Dear Jane blocks than I ever knew. You were working on the pink/brown one and got so many blocks done, as I was doing the few I completed.
DeleteI also did not read any social media and I was sewing on my brothers Birthday quilt and binge-watching Netflix. I'm so sorry you were also going through a tough anniversary, The loss of a child is something you never get over. May God give you comfort as you remember your sweet baby. Thank you for being you!
Thank you Bonnie! You're wonderful. On another note... I'd love a tutorial on how you improv lettering.
ReplyDeleteDon't let what other people think or say make you feel bad. ALL LIVES MATTER! How dare someone complain about not putting a black square on screen when idiots are rioting, looting and destroying innocent peoples stores. What does that prove? I don't watch news anymore either. It just feeds the unrest. There is never a shortage of stupid.
ReplyDeleteI believe we all should do the best we can, everyday, for everyone. And, yes, there will always be people who are so unhappy with themselves they will find fault with others. Please keep doing what you are doing. I appreciate your outlook on life and the pictures and videos. Stay strong and God bless you.
Penny, I feel the same as you about everything you said. Well Said.. We are with you Bonnie.
DeleteHave to agree with you, what use is a black square??? All these faultfinders and bullies need to take a look around, see what the real problem is, and ask it if could possibly start with their own attitude - ie decide on a useless action and try and force people to follow them in it. Change needs to start within hearts but that's a lot more bother than posting a black square. Love your blog Bonnie, don't apologise and don't explain, how you feel is up to you. Your words are more use than any number of black squares.
DeleteI agree with Penny. I didn't know about the black squares until late Tuesday evening. Today my daughter said "they" want the black square posts taken down as they are filling social media and the "real" photos of the riots cannot be seen. As she asked me, "who planned this? who is leading this?"
DeleteHow silly...I saw a black square and had no idea what it was for. Did it make ANY difference to anyone? I don't understand the people who are so quick to judge and yet say they are for peace, love & equality. Your quote for the day was very appropriate. Please ignore the fools who complain about your writing or quilt-cam.
ReplyDeleteThey just like to make noise...
You are a happy place for me. I get energy from reading your stories, joyful as they embrace life. Please do not live your life as other demands.
ReplyDeleteAnd as quiltcam, it is your own time you give, and it is free too. Fully understand the mysterious ways of internet. Not everybody are previleged with good internet connection. Sunny wishes from Sweden.
Your heart is who you are and that’s all that matters, as it should.
ReplyDeleteI was 15 when my dad passed away 41 years ago yesterday. June 2 is always a tough day for me as well. My heart is with you. It shocks me to see comments people make on your blog, FB page, and other platforms. Thank you for all you do for the quilting community, you make me a better person.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, this policing of one another's compliance with arbitrary "rules" (which can change several times a time and vary from one person to the next) needs to stop. So many of these things are nothing more than virtue-signaling, at best, and it doesn't make a lick of real difference in the world. If people want things to improve, they should spend less time brow-beating others into posting/not posting the "thing du jour", shouting about boycotting the current scapegoat company, hashtagging, etc., and more time figuring out how to actually effect a positive change. Or just live your life, doing the best that you can and trying to be a good person. This requirement that everyone be in perfect lockstep on every little thing (or face public shaming) needs to stop.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you.
DeleteAgree!
DeleteAgree things are bad enough that we shouldn't start the blame game.
Deleterut roh… I just learned about "black square Tuesday" -- from YOUR comments... well, now, also read with interest and horror the comments you tell us of other criticisms about your "work" … unbelievable and yet you manage to keep on keeping on! Congratulations!!! I'd much rather the burbling brook, and giggling creek than a silly black square. Live and love and BE... thanks for being you and sharing your SELF... just imagine? I didn't know about any of this until this morning... so you are not the one whose the latest to the party!!! Buncha hooey in my book... I made masks yesterday! better than black squares? I'd say so... love ya' girl! Cats from Carlsbad CA
ReplyDeleteOn a day which was sad already, others heaped more on you. Just because you didn't follow the crowd, doesn't mean you don't support the feelings.
ReplyDeleteSorry you had this happen and just so you know, I didn't find out myself until I had posted as I usually do.
I look at it this way.... People these days are just ANGRY about anything that doesn't go their way. You can't please everyone and yourself at the same time. Just keep on being Bonnie and all will be ok! If they choose to unfollow you that's on them not you. What we need is more understanding that world do not revolve around Social Media and phones. Some of us like getting out in nature and playing with thread and fabric. :)
ReplyDeleteThis world has become such a crazy confusing place. Because of the anonymity of social media there are no repercussions for people being nasty to one another. I chose to cut social media out of my life. I go directly to your blog via the internet. Your blog is a bright spot in my day! I can't imagine how you become the focus of such judgmental people as you are one of the nicest people whom I have ever met! Please know that you truly make a difference in people's lives!
ReplyDeleteShame on those who are judging you. I dont understand how that isnt bullying. How do they live with their judgemental attitudes. Who are they to be judge and jury. You are kind and caring. You share your talents with us all for free and MOST appreciate it. Thank you for your generosity. I went about my day yesterday and appreciated your inspirational post, your peaceful video that quieted my heart and my soul during this turbulent time. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
ReplyDeleteYour quotes of the day are inspiring, and I look forward to them every day. I did not take yesterday's quote as anti-black-lives-matter at all. The key word is "stuck." We all need to get unstuck, even if the anger stays, so we can skillfully contemplate change. A perfect quote for yesterday, and today as well, IMHO.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, there's an old quote about pleasing some of the people all of the time, and none of the people some of the time...and I say you please most of us all of the time! I appreciate the time and energy you spend sharing your time and talent with us through your blog and other posts. I can see and feel your loving spirit in each of them. Humble and kind are words that could be used to describe you always. Facebook is a social media platform, and we each use it for our own individual purposes. Some use it much more politically than others. I don't choose to follow those users. I chose your site because I want to share the fellowship of quilting. One of the hikers that I follow said it best (in my opinion) yesterday. Patrick Fuchs: "If I want to save the dolphins, it doesn't mean I hate the turtles. It doesn't mean I hate anything. If I want to protect the rain forest, it doesn't mean I hate the desert. It doesn't mean I hate anything. If I say Black Lives Matter, it doesn't mean I hate the police. It doesn't mean I hate anything." This whole issue isn't an either/or... So to take Patrick's thoughts one step further, ust because we didn't post a black square doesn't mean we're haters.
ReplyDeleteI didn't see the memo either... and I was on Facebook throughout the day! You're doing a great service for us Bonnie. Please don't change...
ReplyDeleteThank you for doing what you do!
ReplyDeleteToo many rules and expections. Love you.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve it. I saw 1 black square in the morning and had no clue what it meant so I too went on with my day. Talk about taking FB too seriously! I am so sorry about your daughter and yes the nature time was probably just what you needed - so glad you took care of yourself. People who carry those grudges will eventually get weighed down by their own anger. You are perfect as you are - doing your best!
ReplyDeleteI am saddened that people are so unkind to you, when you do so much for quilters everywhere. I was asked by a friend recently to remove a post that I shared on facebook because it did not fit with their political view. I did it to keep the peace, but later realized that my voice and the voice of the original post were being censored. We live in a confusing, stressful country right now. The plight of people of color has been that way all of their lives. I am also trying to understand what they have been experiencing. I may not get there, but I am trying and sometimes that is all we can do. You are loved and cared for. God bless you, take a deep breath and carry on.
ReplyDeleteWell said. I didn't find out till later either (being 6 hours ahead in the UK). Judgemental people are the ones that stop the world going round. Whatever and whomever they judge. I try to get through every day without judgement of others. Those of us who know you know where your heart is xxx
ReplyDeleteLove your blog too. So hard to please everyone all the time. Just keep doing what you're doing.
ReplyDeleteYou are the kindest person by far. I love your blog and realize that pleasing the public is a thankless position. Be yourself and the true spirits will follow your lead. Create the best day ever.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Bonnie. I don't get on social media very much, so I wasn't aware of the black square either. But I'm not in the public eye as you are. I haven't known about your blog for that long, but one thing I am impressed by is your courage and willingness to share your life so unselfishly. And because I know that people can be so critical. Hang in there, girlfriend. I went for a walk this morning on the waterfront of a little town close to where we live. I passed by so many people, (at least 6' apart) walking along the trail, black, white, hispanic, etc. and ALL were so friendly. Everyone said good morning, how are you. No hostility, no segregation, just everyone enjoying the great out doors. It was so refreshing, not just being outside, but seeing people react to each other with kindness and friendliness. There is hope for our world.
ReplyDeleteJM
I always wonder if the 'complainers' are perfect? I think not but like to bring others down to raise themselves up - I try my best to distance myself from those people - life is to short. Not everyone is one a device 24x7 - some of us live our lives - trying to be the best person we can by loving and being kind to others...not electronically but in person.
ReplyDeleteI truly appreciate all that you do and am so glad you are living life - thank you for being you - have the best day ever.
I think your great! I didn't know about black square until this morning, lol.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your posts everyday. I learn so much from you and love your videos of your walks so peaceful to hear the water. do what you need to do I did not that was what the black squares was either. take care stay well enjoyed quiltcam anyway I could get it. I live in the country too understand slow internet. sometimes a blessing
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what people expect, but I do know that a lot of people assume they are right when they are really oblivious. I didn't get the memo either. I object to having my happy places being subjected to outside negative forces.
ReplyDeleteYou have my support and sympathy. Please ignore the clueless and keep the focus on what you know to be good and life-giving.
“Anyone can post a black square. It’s the actions that occur day in and day out without the black square that really matter.” Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteBonnie-I am so with you on your thoughts in today's blog! Hugs and prayers as you mourn the loss of your daughter.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I love you from afar and want to hug you. I am so glad you were able to take this day and remember your daughter with love. There is so much hate being spread and love is what we all need. I cant understand how a black square can help anything like all those posts that come my way telling me to click like if I hate cancer, child abuse, animal cruelty, pineapple on pizza. What do people think that clicking like wiĺl do? Of course I'm against all those, except the pineapple, I'm a fan of Hawaiian. As you know, you live every day being kind, caring, compassionate and a lot of those people that have a black square also have racist jokes and rants if you look at their pages. Sorry this is too long. I only meant to say that this Canadian loves you.
ReplyDeleteI love your quote. I once heard Maya Angelou speak at a college event. She had such a calming voice. Which I think you need at this time. No one can please everyone. No matter how much we try. You give do much to your followers. I can only imagine how hard yesterday was. My sister in law and brother lost a daughter the same year/ 38 years ago in December. Different mile stones were hard for my sister in law, as I’m sure it is got you. But they live in our hearts.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I didn't get the memo either. I'm not out there blogging like you and don't know if that is the reason why I didn't know. It wasn't until this blog that I even knew this existed. You don't have the time to sit with your head in the computer on social media. Who does? Yesterday was your day to heal and reflect out there with nature. What you do for all of us as quilters sharing your heart and love is who you are. Please know that we do love you, cry and laugh with you. I appreciate all that you do for us. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI did not know about the black square till I read yours post Bonnie. Guess I must be in my own little world.
ReplyDeleteI have too much in my life to love, care for, and value, to worry about who's doing what on social media. I dumped FB, IG and Twitter 2 years ago and am better for it. Your peeps appreciate and value all you do.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, Bonnie ... I am so sorry on the loss of your daughter! Undoubtedly, an annual day of painful remembrance. The world really is a sad state of affairs right now. Do the right things for yourself and your family. Wishing your heart peace today.
ReplyDeleteI honestly couldn’t figure out how to do the black box, so I didn’t. Doesn’t mean I don’t have empathy for brown and black people. You don’t have to apologize. You can’t make everyone happy, just do you, which is awesome.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. I had no clue the black square was going on because I only look at my phone for a few things and am not glued to social media.
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine the comments some people make to you because you are so open and willing to share your talent with us. You share your personal life with us. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And yet people are unkind and bitter towards you. Why? What does it accomplish?
My husband is a federal protective officer. His colleague across the country was killed doing his job this week. I fear for him and all the other officers who are trying to help us stay safe. He said that should never have happened to Mr. Floyd and the officer should be held accountable. But now I live with the fear of him not coming home because he wears a uniform.
We have friends of many races and religions and everyone gets along. We don't care what you look like as long as you are a good person. We live, we help, we love, we cry. Together.
Don’t beat yourself up. I was on Facebook several times yesterday, and I never saw the black square of instruction. I saw a few blank black squares, but I’m not a lemming and I probably wouldn’t have posted one just because I was “supposed” to.
ReplyDeleteI knew nothing about Blackout either. Bonnie, you are a terrific lady and I admire all that you do. Please don't stop being you.
ReplyDeleteWe are each responsible for our own actions, to do our part to make a better world. If we were all eyeballs, where would the lungs for breathing be? Everyone make your own contribution. The body needs all of our parts! Love you, Bonnie 💓
ReplyDeleteI've never been one much for herd mentality. You are good, Bonnie. Don't worry about the posted empty spaces and condemnation. They will be bopping off after something else in the blink of an eye. I much more value well-considered independent thinking. The ills of society are not conquered by the stampeding herd. And think of the damage done in their process. Maya Angelou's quote is a good one. Coming together, not dividing.
ReplyDeleteDo your best- it’s the only thing you can know is the right move. Social media is so full of other people judging and bullying. I love reading your blog. Always a positive attitude that shines through! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteWho you are speaks loud and clear, EVERY.DAY. in the things you do and say and share. Start another day, hold your head high, and know that you ARE doing your best! Have a beautiful day Bonnie ❤
ReplyDeleteI did not get the memo either. I saw the black squares and I got the gist but didn't know any of the "rules". I chose to join a United prayer gathering for our city. I listened to black men share their experience. I listened and understood things I never did before. I cried for the pain and confusion and misunderstanding. I did not post a black square. I do stand with #blacklifematters with a new perception. Keep loving those put in your path and try to ignore those who insist on judgement.
ReplyDeleteBonnie .... your actions do speak louder than a black box ... you are enough - and yes we love you just as you are.
ReplyDeleteGood grief! I am so sorry the internet trolls have been after you so much! You are one of the most generous designers I know and I am in awe of all you do! My heart is with you and your grieving--my son would be 36 this year. Thank you for your designs, your thoughts, your pictures--you are a gem!
ReplyDeleteBonnie you are doing just what God meant you to do so don't even listen to the people that want to bring you down. You do an awesome job and there are so many more people that love and support you than there are those that have to make rude comments on everything you say or do. I can completely understand where your heart was yesterday because I lost my Heather 23 years ago and every September 17th I go into a dark place for the day. People that have never lost a child can't understand the pain and emptyness your heart goes through on that same day every year. So you keep doing just what your doing and forget about the naysayers!
ReplyDeleteBonnie I’m sorry you were treated very poorly. You could almost say you were “peer bullied.” I also didn’t get the memo nor am I racist. I’m appalled and sickened by the actions of the rioters and looters. Where I come from “2 wrongs don’t make a right.” Quietly protest but don’t judge others and resort to violence. Just keep doing what you do Bonnie. The positives far outweigh the negatives and your “positive” followers will be here when you’re ready to share.
ReplyDeleteBonnie--yesterday June 2 is my birthday and it felt off because of all the darkness with the turmoil and black squares! I need some cheerful quilt pictures and dog pictures these days. I appreciated your cheerful posts. I am sorry for the loss of your daughter, Heather--that is also my daughter's name.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, you do far more justifying than you have to. Stop worrying about what other people think. You KNOW who you are and screw it if people don’t like you or your views. It’s very liberating letting go :). For the record, I adore you and there are times where I’m in your shoes and it’s a learned practice to keep finding “my happy” and my way through the crowd with all the fine lines and expectations... Just be you and do your thing. The rest falls into place.
ReplyDeleteDear Bonnie - the only social media I "follow" is Facebook (even though many of my friends have given up on it) so that I can enjoy your column and your blog every day. Your blog is about Quilting and that is why we read it. It is a breath of fresh air in these days of turmoil.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering why I hadn't seen a QuiltCam in a while, darn those people for their uncouth ways. I have enjoyed your hikes and the running stream videos make me want to visit my grandma in Montana even more than usual!
ReplyDeleteeHUGS! I too am confounded by the one day solidarity of a black square. It is the day to day that matters every day. I love you. I love your blog. Thank you for posting. Nature is certainly a healer of the soul.
ReplyDeleteI do not live for social media, either. This is a great example of why I don't participate in it. I completely understand why you want to stop it all some days because of the words/actions a few. Bonnie, when this type of BS comes at you, play the song "Garden Party" by Ricky Nelson. You can't please everyone so you got to please yourself.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know about Black Out Tuesday either. I did enjoy your blog yesterday.
ReplyDeleteWow, I had no idea that people would be that petty regarding Quilt-Cam. For goodness sake, people! You’re not doing it professionally in a studio!!!! I couldn’t participate often in quilt-can, but I enjoyed the times I could! Wishing you the best day forward.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your experience yesterday. Deeply sorry for your daughter - a loss like that never goes away <3 . Sorry for the nasty comments you get for quiltcam, or your mysteries. A big "Thank you" for your inspiring work.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Bonnie that you are the recipient of so much judgmentalism. I am shocked by the comments you have received about QuiltCam. People's insensitivity and rudeness is just mind boggling. And social pressure to conform to post a black square on social media is just another example of this. My son told me an interesting word yesterday and it is "virtue signalling". Your life speaks for itself. Thank you for all the beautiful life giving images you posted yesterday in an attempt to help the world and yourself ease the enormous mourning and grief. All the social media followers you lose need to follow someone else ... that is not a loss to mourn or be concerned about. The people who see you and love you will always be here, whether you engage in timely virtue signalling or not :) XOXO
ReplyDeleteOh, Bonnie! I'm so sorry you were treated so judgementally by so many readers. If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one who didn't get the memo. I'm taking care of my 90 year old mother with congestive heart failure and mild dementia who is also suffering from depression due to the quarantine restrictions that we have in place to protect her. We don't watch the news on TV, and I don't seek it out online during my brief moments of free time. I read your blog yesterday, and it helped me get through a very difficult day. Thank you for your kindness and generosity to the quilting community all these years.
ReplyDeleteIt IS horrifying that people are still judged, and murdered, by the colour of their skin, the clothes they wear, the gods they follow, the languages they speak.
ReplyDeleteThe only absolute in life is we are all going to die. No one is getting out of here alive. However we get there, we get there.
Every person we meet is living the life they “choose”; unless they’re a child and they, hopefully, get to be children.
Everyone we meet has a story to tell.
Bonnie, keep being the person you are, keep doing all the things that make you, you.
The sun will rise tomorrow.
Bonnie... please keep being you! We love you just as you are!!! I didn't know yesterday was a day to avoid social media and I was home all day.. obviously not online I guess... had no idea... so you weren't alone! Enjoy your new pup and your sewing and that quilt backing is awesome!!!! Kathi
ReplyDeleteHoly cow! Bless your heart. I feel your pain and understand your feelings because of criticism. For years I was the leader of a 150 family homeschooling group. Many were often "helpful," aka critical, in their comments to me. Recently I was president of an condo association of 158 units. Many were often downright ugly. It's easy to say "shake it off" but when I was the one receiving the "helpful" comments or suggestions it was sometimes impossible to not fall into (as Anne of Green Gables said) the depths of despair. My counsel is to hang in there, take one step at a time, "try" to ignore the critical or "helpful" suggestions, and know that the vast majority of people who follow you ARE SUPPORTIVE and LOVE YOU! (Yes, I'm shouting.) Sometimes I watch Quilt Cam twice because it's fun to get distracted by cats, dogs, fabric in the background, etc. It's like being with a real person.
ReplyDeleteThis is cyber-bullying in the worst way. So sorry it's being directed at you. Quilt-Cam is a service that you provide to us, no one has the right to make such hateful comments.
ReplyDeleteLike you I check my computer stuff early morning and done. Didn't know anything about the black square either.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your heartfelt post this morning! As I surfed and read my usual quilt blogs this morning I’m amazed and heartened by the number of bloggers who felt it necessary to deviated from their usual topics and verbally weep over the events going on around us. Of course some will choose to take offense and stop reading. It’s their loss. Our nation is hurting, crying for change. My prayer is that our better natures will prevail and we will emerge and new better nation.
ReplyDeleteAmen!
ReplyDelete... I'm Canadian...later on in the evening, the news did a spot on how the black screen was sending the wrong message. Do what's right for you Bonnie. I am glad to hear that you did something to honor your daughter. I am sorry for your loss. Your hike was a wonderful break from all the madness in the world. I thank you for that. Much love from Canada.
ReplyDeleteSO SORRY those same people who expect you to follow the crowd,can't let you be you,in all of your loving goodness. I didn't get the memo either, loved your quote yesterday, thought it fit perfectly! Ignore the haters they are always out there! WE LOVE YOU AND APPRECIATE YOU!
ReplyDeleteYou make my day.I start my day with you. Keep being YOU. Keep Quilting and sharing your love of quilting. You are the best. Hugs ann
ReplyDeleteI saw the black squares but didn’t even know how to post one! I never lo saw the rationale you mentioned either. I too have been trying to live my daily life in as calm a way as possible and that means lately less social media during the day.
ReplyDeleteGod bless your sweet heart, Bonnie! We all have fragile hearts now after living through the past few months of isolation. People need to be kind and nice in their words and their deeds or just be quiet. Just keep being your wonderful self. I had an 85 year old quilter tell me once that the mean girls in high school are still mean. I was dumbstruck! She is right. Let them go. Not worth the time. God wants us to take the high road and leave the dirt under our feet! Please take care! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteWell said. Not all of us keep on social media. I didn't know about the black square thing until late in the day either, but I completely agree that what you do in 'real' life counts for a lot more than whether you post or don't post something that some people wish to see.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that it was a tough anniversary day for you. I hope that you enjoyed that hike and that it helped you through.
I love what you do and how you do it. Sorry that there are idiots around who don't know how to hit the 'pause' button and just turn away from things that they aren't enjoying in the quilt world without feeling the need to share that. Thanks for keeping on going - you are an inspiration!
I completely understand that your mind and heart were wrapped up in thoughts of your daughter yesterday, as they are every year. Your pain is important, too. Take care of yourself and your lovely family.
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing an awesome job. Sending positive vibes your way!!!
ReplyDeleteI follow you on FB and I look forward to your morning quotes. They always give me something to think about and they speak to what is happening in our world. I'm so sorry you felt "less than", particularly yesterday. A lot of the time I don't check out social media after an early morning FB check to see if anything is up with the family so I often miss things like this. I just wish people would lift others up rather than tear them down.
ReplyDeleteAs someone living in Scotland, who uses social media sparsely, i had no idea about black squares etc. Social media does not rule how we feel, or how we react to others.
ReplyDeleteI am saddened by everything that is happening in the USA. I spend time there every year and have many American friends. But while it's good to support each other, a black square on a phone will not alter the way some people think.
So many of us have so many other worries in life at the moment. Like you I am awaiting the permission to reopen my hospitality business, and have people relying on my for their wages.
Checking in on your blog each day, and the time I spend quilting, keeps me sane.
take care, live your own life as you feel matters. You give help to so many of us, regardless of our race, religion or nationality.
Janice
You just be you, Bonnie! Your heart is in the right place, black square or not! The life we live says volumes more than any post on FB. We love you!
ReplyDeleteYou create so much joy and are so generous--all you can you can do is be you--it's enough!
ReplyDeleteI didn't even see that memo. I did see a few black squares and wondered what that was all about. I was waiting for the printing to show. It didn't. It is a shame people criticize you about Quilt cam. You do this for us FREE and teach us things. If they don't like it, they shouldn't watch!! I enjoy it Bonnie and your blog. Keep on doing what you are doing. There are so many of us who appreciate you. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately no matter how hard you try you can never make everyone happy. Just remember how many people you do not only make happy but enrich their lives! You have every right to remember Heather on June 2. She was a special gift to you which was too brief.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I'm so sorry about your day yesterday, starting with your grief over the loss of your daughter. On those days in my life -- the anniversary of my husband's death and the recent first anniversary of my best-friend-for- life's death -- I just want to shut out the world and be alone with my grief and my memories and "gird my loins" for another year without them. It sounds like yesterday was such a day for you until the world came crashing in on you. Please remember how much you are loved by the vast majority of us quilters. And please remember that haters, critics, judgers, and dividers are always going to do what they do and that while it feels like it's aimed at you, it's really all about them and their need to make others feel as bad as frightened, insecure, and angry as they feel. I'm sending you love, strength, and calm.
ReplyDeleteI'm here for the quilting escape from all that other noise. I'm here because I feel a connection to like minded quilters, talking about quilting and all the things quilt related. I'm here to learn about quilting and share my quilting with others. I've said it before and I'll say it again and again, thank you for everything you do. I will continue to follow and support you as long as you're willing to share your blog with me. Keep putting one stitch in front of the other. Have a wonderful day!!
ReplyDeleteI understand you very well(I think) and LOVE your posts! I just cannot fathom all the negative crap you get. Why doesn't everybody just try to do their best and leave all the negativity behind? What the hell business is it of theirs what you post? Not to sound trite or make light of your distress but don't let the turkeys get you down. The rest of us stand with you!
ReplyDeleteGuess I am really out of the loop because I knew nothing about the "black square" until I read your blog today. I do know that I love people and have family ranging from very pale "white" to very dark "black". I don't let anyone's behavior dictate how I chose to respond. I chose to love people not their color. I love your blog, your thoughts and feelings. You can't always please all the people all the time. Keep on keeping on just being the you that we love.
ReplyDeleteWhat a judgemental world we live in when we need to apologize for not following the herd or be branded a racist. Life your truth and if others cannot see it let them wallow in their self righteousness.
ReplyDeleteDeep Breaths (but I probably shouldn't say that as Mr. Floyd could not), but I didn't get the memo either until late AND I am not tech savvy so I couldn't figure out how to post a black square unless I took a photo of black fabric. So I didn't "play" BUT I told myself to try harder with my actions. The internet and social media makes our lives so much better, but a tad harder also.
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, I just found out about it today - a whole day later. I am just not that tuned into social media. I am totally aware of my white privilege and do what I can. I am sure some would say that it isn't enough. But there it is. I try. And I love your quotes. Sometimes it is the only thing that gets me through the days. I love you for being you. That should be enough for any of us.
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing what you do.I so love the adventures of Zoey!! You know you can't please all people all the time. Social media can be a pain,so enjoy those walks in nature a real healer of the soul. Hugs, for all you do🤗.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Bonnie, and I support you completely.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I want to say that I hope you had time yesterday to remember the precious little time you had with your daughter, that Zoey and nature helped heal your soul a tiny bit and that today is a bit better than yesterday. Grief never leaves, it is easier sometimes and harder at other times. I know it's easy to say don't let others judge you, but try to be a duck and let it roll off your back. You spread much joy in the world. We ALL need that right now. God Bless you and yours. I can't wait until you can give Casden a hug. Children can be a balm for the soul in troubled times.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I don't know how you do what you do with all the comments you get. I wasn't on Instagram yesterday or FB so I didn't know about the black square until today. I don't feel that I'm a racist because I didn't know about posting. I enjoy your Blog and your daily quotes. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteIf you are doing a thing just because everyone else is doing it, does its lose some of its value and impact? Social media social peer pressure it absolutely ridiculous. You do you very well, and I hope you continue to do so. My heart goes out to you for your child's birthday yesterday. I always text my sister on her son's birthday even though he's been gone 28 years.
ReplyDeleteEvery single time you post about how horribly people treat you it makes my heart hurt. You who gives the quilting community so much of yourself, your skills and your heart. It boggles the mind. I would hazard a guess that those Instagram folks were probably not really followers of yours if they didn't realize how you really are. I mean seriously. How could they have misjudged whatever you posted once after reading everything you have posted in the past? I am so sorry this is happening to you. Just know that most of us don't at all feel that way.
ReplyDeleteLord, help us all!! When I looked at my granddaughter's Instagram yesterday, I saw a black picture. I thought to myself, "I wonder if she knows her picture did not show up?" I had no clue....no memo reached this grandma either. Bonnie, you summed it up very well when you said, "But hopefully the way I live my life and treat people in this life shows a lot more about who I am than a black square in my social media feed does. Anyone can post a black square. It’s the actions that occur day in and day out without the black square that really matter."
ReplyDeleteI say - Love and peace to all.
Please don’t feel bad, because I just found out about it this morning - a day later. I wasn’t on social media for most of the day yesterday, I had other pressing things to do, like my husbands health problems, not to mention my own. I am also aware of my white privilege and I also do what I can. I love your videos and pictures of your critters antics, they make me laugh and laughter makes things easier for me most days. Thank you for you being you!
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. I didn't know anything about the black square until today. Not that it would have mattered because I wouldn't know how to put one up anyway. Because you are in public people apparently feel that they have the right to judge or criticize you. They are wrong.
ReplyDeleteThe way you live your life...most important...the world needs Jesus...all for Jesus
ReplyDeleteSome of us depend on you to just be present in the moment sharing life, aware of the world around us but also bringing us just a glimpse of 'normality' in our worlds. I can't read news right now or I cry, but a little hope in creativity keeps me buoyant. Bless you, Bonnie. You ARE what we need right now. Don't stop doing YOU.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe the things people comment on your posts. You're just a person. You aren't obligated to participate in every protest. You aren't obligated to post your blog, nor to do quiltcam. I wish people would just leave you alone. I enjoy your content. I'm interested in your quotes. Most days I find your blog to be very entertaining. I like buying from you because you're an honest woman trying to make a living doing what you love. Don't let people make you feel inadequate. Personally, I find it refreshing that you refrain from posting your politics online. I'm sorry this post isn't very eloquent. I'm really annoyed that people think they can dictate what is appropriate for you to post. Keep your chin up. Be proud of the community you've brought together. We're proud of YOU.
ReplyDeleteI think your last paragraph sums it up well. Live your life being kind and respectful of others.You are loved by your faithful followers and should not be embarrassed or need to explain anything about failing to meet others expectations. Don't worry about the critics or bullies out there because you have many more supporters who will be here for you today and in the future.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, once again you have the nail on the head! My personal motto is “Be KIND everyday! I can only impact the people I interface with! One of my dear friends, reminds me when I get upset, Put on your Teflon jacket and let it run right off your back. If people choose to leave you, it is their loss, not yours. You are an amazing woman, who truly understands the word share! I am so happy I have gotten to meet you and am looking forward to the next class with you! I promise to bring my fresh fruit salad, and attempt to do more than one block!! I am very glad that these weeks have made you examine, your commitment to this quilt community and your family. Life is short! Take time to smell the roses. You are the only one of you! It is very difficult to handle bards, when you have done your best, Personally, I LOVE your new hair cut!
ReplyDeleteOh Bonnie - I feel for you, I didn't get the memo either. Like you say actions speak louder than words (or Black Squares) I also feel for you with the Quilt Cam. Please know that there are plenty of people who support you who value you as a real life (quilting) Human Being. RXX
ReplyDeleteIf people were minding their own business, they wouldn't have time to mind yours. I didn't know it was Black-out Tuesday either. Not posting on social media does nothing to stop racism. Actions speak louder than words...every time, in everyday life. Hang in there, Bonnie. Many people appreciate you.
ReplyDeleteJust know that most of us are not perfect an that it is more fun to be with the impetfects than the others. We all do our best and we all mess up!!!
ReplyDeleteGood thing I read your blog today. I wondered what all those black blobs were about yesterday. I just thought FB was acting up again! I don't tweet or whatever. I do care about civil rights, and have since the 50s when I lived in a red lined neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteThankyou for satisfying my curiosity... I was busy yesterday cleaning a featherweight.
So very well spoken, Bonnie.....as John Lydgate (at least what I found he said, LOL) said so many, many years ago “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”
ReplyDeleteVirtual hug, Bonnie. I appreciate everything that you do for us. Yes, I miss Quiltcam - but I understand - our normal is gone and we're all trying to find our way in this new normal. It is so stressful some days. It seems like everything a person does is being questioned / judged by someone. We are all in this together. Thank you for sharing and keeping things real.
ReplyDeleteBonnie you honoured your daughter. That is important. You spent a long time with Zoey, also important. Your loss of instagram followers is insignificant. If they want to "take their ball and go home", let them. You are not obligated to share anything with us and do so from your heart. The critics are just that and probably have nothing good to say about anything. Stay true to your heart and be kind to yourself.
ReplyDeleteNot to be insensitive but it isn't all black and white! There are so many stories how is one suppose to keep up. I feel so bad for you with all you must have to listen to or read. Too bad the nay-sayers would just get off the media and let you do your thing for those of us that enjoy what and how you do things. Personal note our little girl was gone 30 years April 9. I get it, it is a day no one else would understand. Here's to better days ahead!
ReplyDeleteWe love you Bonnie - and if 100 plus people rain on your parade, remember there are thousands of the rest of us who love your quilt cam - JUST AS IT IS!. We know you are who you are - you are so open and honest - and know how you love everyone. Pls hang in there and know many, many more love you than criticize you. - signed, Gwennie - a Canadian who cannot receive your mailings - but can live with that.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry! I love social media- the show and tell part - that I see on Facebook and other blogs. I hate the criticisms and rudeness. Not all of us spend online everyday- you are right! We have other things to do. Honestly, those readers that you lost are not a loss. You live a clean,Good,giving life With much kindness and generosity. You don’t need to apologize. You can just do the best you can. Those that know you understand your true views whether you join in on social media or not. No apologies necessary! So sorry this happened to you.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, Just be you. I come here for your quilting and stories. I just like you! No need to apologize or explain.
ReplyDeleteI got the memo and ignored it.....not because I am a racist, (I have been in a interracial marriage for 48 years) but because I was more focused on my two nephews whom are policemen in LA and SF area and were working their third 18 hours shift to help keep the calm and protect ALL of us. We all have the freedom to live our lives as best we can without being judged by others who don't have a clue what we are living in OUR daily life outside of this hateful platform. You have NO REASON to apologize or explain your reasons Bonnie. Don't suck into the righteous haters.
ReplyDeleteYou do YOU! Bonnie do BONNIE!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
I didn't know it was a "thing" till about 4:30pm when my daughter mentioned that she hadn't put new stuff up in her Etsy shop because she was afraid of exactly what happened to you. I told her you can't live your life according to everyone else's arbitrary rules. Like you, I judge people by their actions - how they treat others, do they behave ethically, are they kind... I do NOT judge them based on their skin color, educational level, political affiliation, what charities or causes they do or don't support. I'm an individual and would hope people would judge me based on who I am, not whether or not I participate in changing my FB image to a black square. I'm more complicated than a black square. Don't knock yourself out over it. You are who you are and we appreciate your wysiwyg-ness.
ReplyDeleteBonnie - you do more to promote happiness and goodwill than anyone else I know. These are rotten times we are currently live in - yes! BUT - does anyone now remember the slogan running rampant on the internet when all this Covid stuff started? It was - be KIND. A reminder may need to be sent again. What happened to Mr. Floyd just sickens my stomach that any - ANY - human being (never mind a police officer) could do that. The colour of a person's skin plays no part in the kind of human being they are - I feel like we have rewound to the fifties and sixties and I hate it. If there are people who give you grief or quit following you because you did not post a Black Square (at first I actually thought some people hadn't realized they had left the lens cover on their cameras when they took a photo!) or for a # that you used - you do not need them in your life. They are not kind. My heart hurts for you - please know I am sending long distance, virtual hugs. Thank you for everything you do and everything you bring and every smile you have ever brought to me along with every tear. YOU are kind, you are giving, you are generous, you are sharing. PLEASE don't let those others get to you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
ReplyDeleteThis is all so ridiculous. I also did not get the memo but I did see some black squares posted. I had no idea what it was all about until I just read your blog here. Obviously I too did not get the memo. All this tells me is that those of us who do not spend all day every day on social media and who live in the boondocks had no idea what was going on. We missed it. I have been outraged over this George Floyd business because this man did not deserve to die this way. It was wrong and all officers involved should be arrested. I do stand with the black people on this subject. It is wrong to be treated differently from others.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I saw a couple of black squares too, I figured it was a thing, but I didn't know what/how to do it. You are totally right. It is the way we treat people and what we stand for every day in every situation. It is helping someone in need, treating everyone with kindness and respect. These are things that you are superior at. I've been to one of your workshops a few years ago. I saw how you were within your spirit it was obvious to everyone there of your gracious acceptance of everyone. Ignore the negative comments. Keep doing what you are doing. You are a bright and inspirational light.
ReplyDeleteNo apologies needed. You spent the day paying homage to Heather and taking care of yourself. I saw the black boxes and by the end of the day I thought the whole thing was pointless since it wasn't clear what we "privileged white women" were supposed to do. Just keep being you and don't worry about people who chose to unfollow you. You don't need them in your life.
ReplyDeleteDear Bonnie,
ReplyDeleteI’ve been following you since I don’t know when, but I do know the image: that “crumbs” quilt about friendship with the big red border you made over a weekend with a girlfriend. That’s the image that sticks in my head, not a black square. I am not a poster on social media at all, but this is just too crazy. Clearly, I’m beyond late in thanking you for years of your generosity in sharing your love of quilting and how it weaves itself into your life (bonus ..we get the complete package) but it is heartfelt. ps..just added you to my Instagram feed :-)
I obviously didn't get the memo either as this is the first I've heard of the black square, et al. But then other than my blog and reading a few others I am not on social media just for this reason. Too much ugliness out there, when people can hide behind their keyboard they seem to feel they have a right to be nasty whether they're right or wrong (very wrong in this case). So sorry you have to deal with so much of it.
ReplyDeleteThis kinda reminds me of the ribbons everyone used to wear. It's like - "I'm wearing a (pick a color) ribbon which shows I care more about (pick a disease, lifestyle or cause) than you." But when examined more closely, what did that person do to actually support their choice - did they donate money or time or try to make changes happen? As you said, your every day to day actions speak louder. Your kind heart should serve as an example to us all. HUGS!!
ReplyDeleteHold your head high. Move on. You are a blogger by choice. You are not going to please everyone with every post. Appreciate those of us who follow you faithfully and make your patterns.
ReplyDeleteI follow your blog religiously everyday. It's the best way I know to start my day on a positive note. I love your Quotes of the Day. I had no idea yesterday about posting black squares. It's fine I guess if that's how people want to show their support, but what does a black square really do for anybody? I've always believed that if one has an issue with something or someone, they should do whatever it takes to be a part of the solution, rather than just sitting back and complaining or criticizing. That helps no one. Maybe their self esteem is so low that criticizing others is the only way they can make themselves feel that they are better than others (which they are not). I wish they would do something positive to make things better rather than trying to pull others down to their level of negativism and misery. Bonnie you are one of the most giving and understanding people I know. Don't let others pull you down to their level. You are way above their level of negativism and hate. Just keep on keeping on just the way you are.
ReplyDeleteWell I failed yesterday also. But I prayed for our nation as a whole. I am so sorry to hear that you lost a daughter. It is something that you never get over from what I hear from my friends. Yesterday's walk must have given you some peace to reflect. Please quit worrying about the critics. You do you!!!
ReplyDeleteI think you were a victim of what is called "virtue signaling." I didn't know about black squares yesterday either. Saw them today and wondered why whatever had been posted was blacked out. Clueless. Which is OK--being clued in to what's going on daily on facebook, etc. is not as important as real life.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry we can't live up to everyone's expectations of who we are to be. I have enough trouble living up to my own. Social media followers come and they go. The relationships that are most important are the ones we cultivate face-to-face and heart-to-heart. And they take enough work to fill all our time and take all our energy. Thank you for your daily quotes.
ReplyDeleteThank you for all you do! I know the criticism and judgmental comments must hurt, but please know many of us who do not post often are so grateful for your dedication to making our lives better and sharing all the good you see in the world. You are like the BFF I have never met, but wish I had. You are a ray of sunshine I look forward to brightening my day every day. We are blessed to have you in our lives.
ReplyDeleteSuch a shame all of us can't follow the best rule of all. Be Nice.
ReplyDeleteAll lives matters and we should be good to one another.
Keep on posting Bonnie. xxx
I spent most of the day doodling on online yesterday and never saw a single thing about a black square. Just because you didn't 'get the memo' doesn't mean you are on one side or the other. I don't come here for drama anyway. I come here to rest from the drama so I can go back and fight whatever fight I want to fight a little bit rested and refreshed. Even Jesus went off to rest and relax and refresh himself ever so often. Quiet reflection is needed even more than action sometimes. That way the action you do take can be more powerful and longer lasting. Bonnie you do whatever you think is good and right. And if anyone doesn't like it they can go find someone else that believes the way they do and leave you to your beliefs and your ways of expressing those beliefs. You have chosen to let your day to day life show yours. I say thank you for your quite strength and positivity during this trying time in our country.
ReplyDeletePeople are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
ReplyDeleteLove them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”
Well howdy! Funny thing is not ONE single blog I read yesterday had a black square or any mention of this. Not ONE! Come on people, geta life. Just because people don't do or support things in a way YOU perceive they should does NOT mean they are in opposition or don't care. To me, that is another form of control. Let people be FREE to choose their course of action. Just because it gets perceived by a few as not supporting or caring, GET A LIFE and quit putting others into your little boxes. We still have freedom of speach, choice, etc. By you blasting someone for not doing something, you just took that freedom away. In my book that makes you no better than all the ones causing problems to begin this downward spiral.
ReplyDeleteAnd to those that left hurtful comments, that lowers you to a different level. This is someone's personal blog where she choses to let us into her life. Notice, PERSONAL, se has the freedom to write and post what she choses. NO ONE as the right to tell her (or anyone else) what they HAVE to post, follow or be silent about. Guess what, I had no idea this was happening either. And I, being disabled, spend a lot of time on the internet.
And Bonnie, if I've overstepped by what I've said, feel free not to post this. I get so angry when others feel they can berrate others for some perceived wrong or not doing what they think should be done. I love and suppirt you and all you do. Prayers for you and your family. Casden's quilt is perfect. He will love it. I will be sending some more litt!e boy fabric your way. Hugs to you. Cindy
Bonnie, your are an amazing quilter, teacher and human! I love your blog and website because I can focus on one piece of my life - quilting. Not that I'm turning my back on what is happening in this country. I strive to be a better human each day and that's the best I can do. You just be you!
ReplyDeleteWell, don't feel bad, Bonnie. I found out about the black square thing from reading this blog post! Me personally, I am over letting the mob put labels on me, such as hater, racist, homophobe, etc. I don't have to agree with everything the general populace espouses, and it doesn't mean I hate them if I disagree. I have to live my life to please the Lord, and He is definitely watching and weighing our hearts. I care about the injustice the black race faces daily and want ALL people to be respected and given equal opportunities. But I am seriously tired of being 'should' upon. My heart goes out to you about your daughter Heather. I have one definite child waiting for me in heaven, maybe two. I also understand why you have stopped doing quilt cam. This is a time of very little civility and lots of entitlement and enough said. I loved your post yesterday. We're all just doing what we need to do to get through this season, helping where we can and trying to keep our hearts tender.I appreciate all you share with us. Hugs and may God bless you.
ReplyDeleteYou have absolutely nothing to feel bad about and there is no need to apologize.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that there is a sheep mentality. Post this if you feel this way, post that If you feel that way. Posting a box or a rainbow or whatever does not really speak for our core beliefs. And none of us has the right to judge anyone.
I am sorry for your experience. Please know that there are many, many of us out here who love and respect you.
I saw the black squares yesterday, but had no idea what they were representing, and no desire to find out. I just zipped past them all. I know people want to send a message, but wouldn’t it be better sent by the way they live their lives everyday? No one should be able to ‘marshal’ you as to what, when, and why you post a blog. As you’ve said before, it’s not for us...it’s for you to be able to go back and see what was going on in your life at certain times. In a sense, you’re letting us read your diary...not many people would let you do that. Hold on to your kind heart, ignore the naysayers, and post your life as you have all along. Those of us who love you will stick with you! Hope your heart finds peace today..🌹
ReplyDeleteBonnie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for trying, I too did not get the memo first thing in the morning - so I passed on posting my black square at all. At least I know now that the overuse of hashtags render the hashtag useless.
My heart broke when I read this and I rarely comment on pretty much all posts now because of judgement from either side. Too many people are too busy making judgmental statements every single day and bullying with comments whether they realize it or not. Everyone forgets you can read things, not agree and just move forward. You do not need to bring anyone to task over their thoughts, beliefs or any other topic. I am sorry this happens so frequently to you. Trust that unfortunately those of us who are quiet still love and respect you, and regardless of what picture/meme/photo/actions posted each day in your world help make your world a better place to be in...I will not judge you for that. I get a small happy skip when I read your quotes for the day that make me smile every single day...so please don't stop. Silent here for the most part and happier for those small moments.
ReplyDeleteMy heart broke when I read this and I rarely comment on pretty much all posts now because of judgement from either side. Too many people are too busy making judgmental statements every single day and bullying with comments whether they realize it or not. Everyone forgets you can read things, not agree and just move forward. You do not need to bring anyone to task over their thoughts, beliefs or any other topic. I am sorry this happens so frequently to you. Trust that unfortunately those of us who are quiet still love and respect you, and regardless of what picture/meme/photo/actions posted each day in your world help make your world a better place to be in...I will not judge you for that. I get a small happy skip when I read your quotes for the day that make me smile every single day...so please don't stop. Silent here for the most part and happier for those small moments.
ReplyDeleteYou give so much of yourself! Your actions speak way louder than words and your kindness and caring comes through loud and clear on your blog. Don't worry what others think or say....you know who you are and where you stand on the issue. Have a blessed day. P.S. I was born and raised in southern CA. so excuse me for not knowing but are there bears in those woods? Patty McDonald
ReplyDeleteI thought the black squares meant my phone wasn't uploading properly. Ridiculous that people think we are all supposed to play the next social media game whatever it might be. We have life to live, other things to focus on.
ReplyDeleteThis whole matter is turning to a much more hurtful deal for so many and I personally feel is making so much worse. A black square is not going to change anything. Violence and burning and looting buildings will not bring anyone back or make anything change. We have to come together in love, peace kindness and talk. The people who left your lists were not worth it anyway, your followers know what type of person you are: good and kindhearted. You need to let go of your feeling bad or guilty and go on as you. This is all so upsetting for so many. Hugs and know you are a very good person.
ReplyDeletethe unfortunate downside of being as visual and available as you are with your blog, mysteries, quiltcam etc...shame. i will miss quiltcam...i always thought the technological capability was awesome...but then i grew up with black and white TV and rotary phones...
ReplyDeleteI was very busy yesterday and when I sat down last night and saw some black squares on my Instagram....I told my husband that something was wrong with my phone.....then I kept scrolling and realized there was a lot of black squares. I just ignored it and turned off my phone. I have stopped watching the news and I don't feel I need to follow everyone else that chooses to. I have better things to do with my time and I have the right to do that. To each his own....
ReplyDeleteWOW, I think I must have slept through yesterday, cause I didn't know anything about this, but thankfully I am not a notable person like you, Miss Hunter. Shake it off, and just do what you can do. For the past two months we have been paying the lady who cleans our house even though we cancelled her service due to COVID. We will keep doing that until we can have people in our home again. THAT is the kind of thing I can do, in my own little world, to be fair and supportive of others. Everyone do what you can do, every day to create a fair, just, and kind world.
ReplyDeleteI want to thank you for posting yesterday! We are at my parents house in Michigan which flooded two weeks ago. The devastation here is just horrible. I needed the break from cleaning, hauling, organizing and list making of everything lost. Your Instagram posts and blog post were bright spots in my day, which I desperately needed! Praying for peace for you and your daughter! And ALL LIVES MATTER! Thank you for all you do!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about losing a few Instagram readers, there are plenty of others. As for the black square thing, I dismissed it as so much nonsense. Singers, actors, etc. don't rule my life. I honestly believe Mr. Floyd would be appalled at what people are doing in his name...rioting, looting, burning...REALLY? I guess I'm privileged simply because I was born white and quite frankly I don't have any idea what the rioters want. I don't think they can even articulate it. I'm sorry you were criticized for simply living your life without constantly having your eyes on your phone to see what others were saying you should do. It's times like this that I'm glad I live out in the boonies away from all the craziness. People here have more sense than to loot & burn the businesses they otherwise depend on. Just carry on, Bonnie. The greatest majority of your readers appreciate what you do and the effort that goes into it. You really don't need the naysayers and those who live to criticize. If you find anything I said in this comment to be offensive just delete. My skin is pretty thick.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, please give yourself a break, none of us are "perfect." You are kind, caring and go out of your way for the the quilting world. If you had not done anything yesterday no one would have chided you for not participating in the "blackout." We are allies, we are helpers, we do our best and if that sometimes falls short of what "others" think, I'm very sad for them. Keep on doing what your doing!
ReplyDeletePeople who left your Instagram over this are in the overly sensitive phase of tragedy. You were also dealing with tragedy yesterday and they didn't stop to address your tragedy. My daughters posted black squares and I had no idea why. I saw the explanation later. The whole world didn't get the memo and people who judged that you don't support peace and healing in our country are not familiar with the love and kindness you express. Let's hope these people continue through their grief and realize that snap judgements are dangerous and hurtful. Hopefully people will learn from this anger going on that anger isn't a solution but a symptom of our problems. Feel the love from those that have expressed and let it lift your spirits.
ReplyDelete((hugs))) to you on a hard hard day. I don't tend to comment but please know I appreciate all you share. Loe from Leanne in New Zealand.
ReplyDeleteI am lucky enough to live in an area where I get high speed internet. I flip through my news feed a couple of times a day. I do remember a short blast about musicians and black squares but didn't think anything of it. I didn't know it was morphing into all this craziness. I don't remember seeing one black square as I scrolled through FaceBook several times yesterday. I don't think I even got on instagram. For you to receive all this condemnation over it is unbelievable. What kind of real life can these people lead if this is what they feel is so important. I read your blog of a few days ago when you poured your heart out over the plight of racism in America today. I feel I know your heart and that we are kindred spirits. For anyone to give you grief over black squares doesn't know you and IMHO don't count. Keep doing what you do Bonnie. We need you. America needs you. ((( )))
ReplyDeleteI think majority should rule, there are way more of us with you than there are against you and enjoy you and learn from you, that you should just ignore and or delete the negativity out. There is absolutely no way you can please everyone and it it too much work to try. So just keep being you, the person we have all grown to love and it has helped us grow to who we are as well.
ReplyDeleteYou know you are not the only one who "didn't get the memo". I didn't know anything about the black squares until just now reading your blog post. I feel bad that people are so concerned about what everyone else does that they forget that we are people too. Yes, I support all people and hope that what I do with my life; at least echo's half as much support as I see from you and your blog. Bonnie, you are making a difference and unfortunately if there are people out there who get so offended about little things like that then well yes, they may not come back. But, it is their loss. They have that right to judge; fair or not it's their right. We Love you Bonnie... don't ever forget that... and mostly importantly your family loves you too. To the people that count that is all that matters. Hang in there. Just think if you didn't have a cell phone and you never were on social media you would have never known... which at this point that means my 85 year old mother probably didn't know and a lot a really good people out there. Ask your dad if he knew about it. It's too bad that people push sooo much the stop judging me thing.... yet, they turn on someone as quick as can be to judge when they are or aren't doing something. Hang in there...
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you and what you do, what you share! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteBonnie, Some people just need to get a life away from the internet! They themselves could be called racist on the other hand...just saying...
ReplyDeletewell don't feel bad Bonnie because your the first to educate me on the black square day yesterday...I totally missed it...but I haven't been watching the news at all. Not to say we don't care what is going on in the world...we raised 3 adopted bi-racial children. I love your blog posts...what ever time of day I sit down to read them.
ReplyDeleteThe only social media that I am on is FB. Look at it several times a day. Knew nothing about the black square...guess they weren't doing on FB. I guess you really can't please all the people all the time! Do the best you can do and move on.
ReplyDeleteOh Bonnie, I am so sorry that you had to deal with that on a day that is a difficult day for you to start with. I obviously didn't get the memo either. I was trying to calm my spirit by spending time with my sewing machines and staying away from news and social media. I did see a few black squares when I went onto FB in the evening to see a picture my dil posted of my grands but didn't know what they were all about. Just who, exactly, started the whole black square movement and why are they in charge of us? Anyway, again sorry for what you had to deal with. If people unsubscribed, well then, all the best to them as they go on with their lives. I wish them peace. Hugs to you and know that you are much appreciated here.
ReplyDeleteGinny
Bonnie, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I understand your feelings on such a sad anniversary. I have my sadcanniversary in September. Tough day each year. This will be 28b years. I missed the black square bit too. You have done so much for everyone with your tips and skills. Thank you for being you! Don't change a thing :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't get the memo either, but I don't really participate in those posts anyway. I would like to think, the way you do, that I hope my life and actions speaks for themselves,I am heartbroken when something awful happens to anyone and I will try my best to help those less fortunate than I when I can. As far as the complainers... oh well. You're just doing your best.
ReplyDeleteI too was oblivious since we unloaded everything we own into ourr new place yesterday. Today I am migraine sick and exhausted so this is the first I heard of thus black square. I did not have one either though since I am not famous no one shamed me
ReplyDeleteI know your heart and no one could ever say you treat those different from yourself as less than. It is one of the reasons I love and look up to you. Hugs. So sorry it was a doubly hard day for you. Do you and do not feel guilty. :) at all!
Everyone before me has repeated my thoughts over and over. But, I would like to address your quilt cam. I really do miss it, but you have so many already on your blog. I binged watched three years worth last year and enjoyed every one and learned so much from them. My pumpkin patch table runner, for one. For those of you that would like quilt cam, go back and enjoy the ones from the past. They are worth looking at again and again. For now your blog is enough to feed my soul. I plan on going back into the archives and see what I can learn from those past quilt cams. We're all adults here it's time to start acting like mature caring individuals with everyone we come into contact with, whatever form that contact may be.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know who was behind the effort, as in, how legitimate was it or was it trolling? If people are using it against others it's creating more divisions rather uniting as supposedly intended. Organize a national day of mourning & I'll participate.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you had to deal with this on top of the personal emotions of the day/season. If I don't like a blogger I stop following and move on. Why people feel the need to respond with negativism is beyond me. I didn't know about the black squares until the evening. Us peacekeepers try to please everyone. I try to remember the "Garden Party" song by Rick Nelson during times like this in my life. Best to you and know many more of "like" you than don't.
ReplyDeleteIt's Wednesday and I'm just hearing about black out Tuesday...
ReplyDeleteOh well, maybe I don't stay on social media 24/7. Peace out. Just be nice people.
Dear Bonnie, Not sure if you will even see this but know that I am with you in spirit. My mom would say' It is their loss' if you lost some followers. I think your true and faithful fans, many of whom are probably older like me and don't even do instagram or follow social media very much, could care less about those that dropped out. People are so quick to judge and I applaud you for staying away on a day that meant so much to you and your thoughts. Remember, life is short and we are all trying to keep our balance. You are one of the most giving, wonderful people that I have the honor of knowing. Don't change and even though you, like some other people nowdays, have to endure so many slings and arrows, you can hold your head up high because you are doing the very best you can and we will love you forever!
ReplyDeleteMy heart, like yours Bonnie, has been heavy over all of the recent events. To have indignant and hurtful words hurled at you on your day of private grief makes my heart even heavier. I pray that many many hearts will be healed, but I especially hope that for you. You have done nothing wrong, and you bring joy to so very many people daily through your blog. I know because I am one of them.
ReplyDeleteWow Bonnie, I would say with all the well meaning comments that came your way today that you are doing something right. Anyone in the public view takes their chances!! Thats why I prefer my home-body introverted life. Please keep doing what you are doing.
ReplyDeleteI just want to send you a virtual hug Bonnie. You are always giving to us, let us give a bit of understanding and support back to you. I did post a black square, and now I see those who did it are being criticised for being shallow show-ponies or something. We are being divided when we need to be united. I am sorry that it happened on the day you remember your precious little girl. I do hope you can find comfort in sewing today.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I am so sorry that you had to suffer meanness on your very difficult day. I saw late in the day the black profiles. I don't know where it started and missed the memo also. We need kindness and compassion and it looks like some folks were not giving you that. Some people are very quick to judge someone when not in their shoes. I have a few days each year that are anniversaries like your yesterday. They are painful, even though it has been more than 30 years. Like you, I need to take the day. I don't feel that I need to explain to co-workers and others. I just take the day to deal with it as I need. It is your day and no one should step on it and you don't need to offer an explanation. Peace, hugs.
ReplyDeleteI didn't f'ing well get the memo either and if takes so much trouble to get it, then WTH? I'm 66 and good for all those younger who live on social media, but there are many, many of us who do not, and do not want to. I have no problems with you doing so but we also have a life just as important as yours. Please take the time to calm down and realize we are all in this together. My nephew's daughter posted this: "I can and will support good cops, I can and will support victims of bad cops. I can do both." I know that simplifies it but I think the message is basic.
ReplyDeleteI wondered what the black squares were about, but just thought people didn't know how to post a photo. My heart breaks for the inequality I see. And the nastiness of the trolls. I cannot believe people are so low to criticize your webcam shows. Keep on keepin' on, Bonnie. We support you!
ReplyDeleteBonnie. YOU DO NOT CHANE ONE DAMN THING ABOUT YOURSLF. YOU DID NOTHING - AND I MEAN NOHING WRONG YESTERDAY BY NOT PUTTING UP A BLACK BOX. THAT IS THEIR PROBLEM. NOT YOURS. And your walking by the water sounds so calming and peaceful. What a wondeful way to celebrater your daughters memory. love always
ReplyDeleteIf people want to judge, they will judge. If people want to be angry, they will be angry. If people want to love, they will love. Each of us needs to choose what our response will be to any given situation. You did nothing wrong and for you to be attacked like that is so very wrong. It is obvious those people really don't know you at all! How do they think you are so productive?? By hanging out online all the time?? Please! I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter, that is a pain that never goes away. Thank you for all you do for all of us.
ReplyDelete