Stand Up & Speak Out.

I’ve received a lot of emails after yesterday’s blog post mentioning the bullying that is going on toward professionals within our quilt community from a select group of secret conservative quilters who wish to rid the quilt world of unsavory types and those who are different than they are.

The word “BULLY” has received a lot of hype in the past, and in many good ways has drawn  attention to where things needed to be addressed.

In my case, it’s a little bit different.  This is not about "that" group, but it is along the same lines.

I wish to tell you a story.  One that has been kept silent for far too long thinking my effort to not address the situation, thinking it would just go away on its own, was the best route to take.

Once upon a time there was a quilter who met another quilter at a teaching event.  They became friends.

Our quilter agreed through this friendship to give of her time and abilities and design a pieced background for 4 applique rosettes for the other teacher.  This pattern eventually became a 1 pattern staple-bound booklet with both author’s names on the cover.

When publishing house issues sprang up and both quilters decided to go different ways with different publishers, the background designer was more than happy for the applique designer to have the booklet re-published by her new publishing house even thought it meant her name would no longer be on the cover.  She gave up her rights to royalties, understanding that her friend still taught from this booklet and she wanted her to continue to do so.

When mystery season rolled around, the background designer had a long phone conversation with the applique designer and asked her point blank if she may use “just the star design” from her background in the booklet in the upcoming mystery quilt.

This was met with absolute approval, and emails have been saved stating the same.  Everything is documented.  EVERYTHING.

The background designer was completely shocked and extremely hurt and felt totally betrayed when upon showing the completed quilt to the appliquer, the appliquer hit the roof, stated that the ALTERNATE block in the completed mystery quilt was much too similar to the alternate block in the appliqued quilt.

The alternate block.  Not the pieced star block.

There was no resolving the issue.  There were many reasons why this was the last straw, but this friendship was severed after the background designer felt threatened and betrayed after having received permission to use her block.  The alternate block in the mystery quilt had something like 37 pieces in it.  In the applique quilt it was only 7 pieces.  They were nothing similar.  Not even close.

Those who know me, know and love this quilt as Allietare.

Robin’s top completion.

Upon the release of clue #2 – when all we’d had so far were half –square triangles and 4 patches, The background piecer received a very scary email from the appliquer’s publisher which was basically a “cease and desist” and  “you are not allowed to do this” email.

How could they know what the quilt looked like?  We’d only just released 2 clues?

Phone conversations and emails followed, all still in the hands of the background piecer. Upon receipt of the photos of the quilt it was determined by those in high power at the publishing house that there was no breech of copyright, the background piecer was well within her rights to use HER block that SHE designed in any way she wanted to, and the alternate block was never in question. 

Permission had been granted by the appliquer and she was now trying to take it away.

The social media focus on the appliquer's business facebook page after the reveal was that the background designer had made this an "ethical issue" by undermining the sale of the new booklet at the new publisher by use of the star block --and the appliquer never told the truth that permission had been granted long before cutter was even put to cloth in the designing of the mystery quilt.  The alternate block issue was forgotten, and the focus from that point became the issue of using the star block.

During this whole episode no names or posts were made by the background piecer to social media stating what really happened in this case as far as she saw it.  Every story has two sides.  She never told hers, not wanting to get into a war of words.

However, she has endured post after post after post (all saved as screen shots and sent to her by many)  of how SHE has bullied the appliquer through quote in a day posts with subliminal messages, has been been called names and discussed publicly and routinely on the appliquer’s personal and business pages.

And a year and a half later it is still going on.  The drama stirred up and unleashed in one-sidedness is continual. It happened again today.  It’s time to tell the story.

I have said nothing for a year and a half hoping things would die and get back to normal.  That we could both get back to doing what we love, quilting.  I don’t wish her any ill.  I am however tired of being discussed publicly and labeled as THE BULLY and the MEAN GIRL and I want it to stop. 

According to her public tell-alls to her professional facebook page, she has stated
"I have said it before, I have forgiven my bully. Although I have never received an apology, and never expect too."

But yet the posts continue, again and again and again.

I believe this continues because I haven't spoken up.

I fear this will stir things up more, but there are TWO SIDES to every story. TWO SIDES.

This is mine.  It’s time.

Standing up for yourself and protecting your business *as I have* is not bullying.

Sometimes taking the high road DOES mean standing up for yourself and putting it out there.

Refusing to let a caustic person make your life miserable by removing them from your life so you can find peace is NOT bullying.

Standing silent and not mentioning names is NOT bullying. 

Someone who has their publisher drop a copyright bomb on you over your use of your own block design (after having asked and been granted permission both verbally and in writing) in an attempt to kill your mystery quilt while it is running IS BULLYING.

Just because someone doesn’t get their OWN way – doesn’t make their target a BULLY.

There are no hidden messages in my QUILTVILLE QUOTES. 

They are messages to me to be a better person.  For us ALL to be better people.

This experience has constantly taken me to my knees in tears and made me much more aware of what bullying is, and what bullying isn’t.  It is so very very difficult to stay silent for so long.

If someone feels like I am targeting them and sending hidden meanings to make their life miserable they are wrong.

End of story.

Load off my chest.

Waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Is it over yet?  Can it be please?

I’m going to go sew something.


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