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Sunday, May 21, 2017

Stand Up & Speak Out.

bullying
I’ve received a lot of emails after yesterday’s blog post mentioning the bullying that is going on toward professionals within our quilt community from a select group of secret conservative quilters who wish to rid the quilt world of unsavory types and those who are different than they are.

The word “BULLY” has received a lot of hype in the past, and in many good ways has drawn  attention to where things needed to be addressed.

In my case, it’s a little bit different.  This is not about "that" group, but it is along the same lines.

I wish to tell you a story.  One that has been kept silent for far too long thinking my effort to not address the situation, thinking it would just go away on its own, was the best route to take.

Once upon a time there was a quilter who met another quilter at a teaching event.  They became friends.

Our quilter agreed through this friendship to give of her time and abilities and design a pieced background for 4 applique rosettes for the other teacher.  This pattern eventually became a 1 pattern staple-bound booklet with both author’s names on the cover.

When publishing house issues sprang up and both quilters decided to go different ways with different publishers, the background designer was more than happy for the applique designer to have the booklet re-published by her new publishing house even thought it meant her name would no longer be on the cover.  She gave up her rights to royalties, understanding that her friend still taught from this booklet and she wanted her to continue to do so.

When mystery season rolled around, the background designer had a long phone conversation with the applique designer and asked her point blank if she may use “just the star design” from her background in the booklet in the upcoming mystery quilt.

This was met with absolute approval, and emails have been saved stating the same.  Everything is documented.  EVERYTHING.

The background designer was completely shocked and extremely hurt and felt totally betrayed when upon showing the completed quilt to the appliquer, the appliquer hit the roof, stated that the ALTERNATE block in the completed mystery quilt was much too similar to the alternate block in the appliqued quilt.

The alternate block.  Not the pieced star block.

There was no resolving the issue.  There were many reasons why this was the last straw, but this friendship was severed after the background designer felt threatened and betrayed after having received permission to use her block.  The alternate block in the mystery quilt had something like 37 pieces in it.  In the applique quilt it was only 7 pieces.  They were nothing similar.  Not even close.

Those who know me, know and love this quilt as Allietare.


Robin’s top completion.

Upon the release of clue #2 – when all we’d had so far were half –square triangles and 4 patches, The background piecer received a very scary email from the appliquer’s publisher which was basically a “cease and desist” and  “you are not allowed to do this” email.

How could they know what the quilt looked like?  We’d only just released 2 clues?

Phone conversations and emails followed, all still in the hands of the background piecer. Upon receipt of the photos of the quilt it was determined by those in high power at the publishing house that there was no breech of copyright, the background piecer was well within her rights to use HER block that SHE designed in any way she wanted to, and the alternate block was never in question. 

Permission had been granted by the appliquer and she was now trying to take it away.

The social media focus on the appliquer's business facebook page after the reveal was that the background designer had made this an "ethical issue" by undermining the sale of the new booklet at the new publisher by use of the star block --and the appliquer never told the truth that permission had been granted long before cutter was even put to cloth in the designing of the mystery quilt.  The alternate block issue was forgotten, and the focus from that point became the issue of using the star block.

During this whole episode no names or posts were made by the background piecer to social media stating what really happened in this case as far as she saw it.  Every story has two sides.  She never told hers, not wanting to get into a war of words.

However, she has endured post after post after post (all saved as screen shots and sent to her by many)  of how SHE has bullied the appliquer through quote in a day posts with subliminal messages, has been been called names and discussed publicly and routinely on the appliquer’s personal and business pages.

And a year and a half later it is still going on.  The drama stirred up and unleashed in one-sidedness is continual. It happened again today.  It’s time to tell the story.

I have said nothing for a year and a half hoping things would die and get back to normal.  That we could both get back to doing what we love, quilting.  I don’t wish her any ill.  I am however tired of being discussed publicly and labeled as THE BULLY and the MEAN GIRL and I want it to stop. 

According to her public tell-alls to her professional facebook page, she has stated
"I have said it before, I have forgiven my bully. Although I have never received an apology, and never expect too."

But yet the posts continue, again and again and again.

I believe this continues because I haven't spoken up.

I fear this will stir things up more, but there are TWO SIDES to every story. TWO SIDES.

This is mine.  It’s time.

4-theright

Standing up for yourself and protecting your business *as I have* is not bullying.

Sometimes taking the high road DOES mean standing up for yourself and putting it out there.

Refusing to let a caustic person make your life miserable by removing them from your life so you can find peace is NOT bullying.

Standing silent and not mentioning names is NOT bullying. 

Someone who has their publisher drop a copyright bomb on you over your use of your own block design (after having asked and been granted permission both verbally and in writing) in an attempt to kill your mystery quilt while it is running IS BULLYING.

Just because someone doesn’t get their OWN way – doesn’t make their target a BULLY.

There are no hidden messages in my QUILTVILLE QUOTES. 

They are messages to me to be a better person.  For us ALL to be better people.

This experience has constantly taken me to my knees in tears and made me much more aware of what bullying is, and what bullying isn’t.  It is so very very difficult to stay silent for so long.

If someone feels like I am targeting them and sending hidden meanings to make their life miserable they are wrong.

End of story.

Load off my chest.

Waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Is it over yet?  Can it be please?

I’m going to go sew something.


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213 comments:

1 – 200 of 213   Newer›   Newest»
Kristin said...

Oh my goodness!! I'm so very sorry you are being subjected to this. The behavior that gas been exposed this week is deplorable. Stay positive and trust in how many people believe in you. Xoxo

diane motley said...

I applaud you, Bonnie.

Terri in BC said...

Oh, Bonnie, I am so sorry you have been going through this and my hearts breaks for you. I'm glad you are standing up for yourself, especially now knowing you weren't the only one who was bullied. I'm glad you have documented the bullying and took the time to collect it so that you have your proof. It's all fine and dandy to "take the high road" and "turn the other cheek" but sometimes the bullies need to be stopped by collecting the evidence and speaking up (just like we tell our kids to talk to a parent or teacher when they are bullied).

Tim Latimer said...

<3 yikes! sorry you had to deal with all that....but glad you got if off your chest! it is much healthier to let it out .... keep being you <3

Material Girl said...

Wow! So sorry, must be a terrible feeling. I wonder what drives someone to behave like that and why.

Amber said...

I'm sorry you have had to go through this.

Marla said...

Document, document, document. Thankful you did! Thank you for sharing, as the unknown, to some, heightens the drama and skews things out of control! I appreciate what you do, how you offer your expertise to others, how you inspire and encourage. I hope this will be the end! And that this unspoken burden will be lifted!

Janet O. said...

Had no idea you were going through anything of this sort. You were smart to save your exchanges.
I hope all the dust finally settles and you can move on!

Vickie said...

For the love!! Some people need to get a life!!! This is amazing to me that this has continued for so long! Good for you! Stand up don't let bullies win!!

Sharon McClurg said...

Oh my goodness Bonnie... I am so sorry you have had to go through this - it is no wonder you have seemed to be in a bit different mood these past months. It is never easy to deal with a caustic person. I applaud your choice to be silent as long as you could and to stand up for yourself when the other party would not stop. I am saying a prayer for your continued strength and peace of mind. Take care ! Sharon

Barbara said...

I am so sorry you are being treated like this. Glad that you have stopped turning the other cheek.

Susan Hartley said...

Oh Bonnie, I am so sorry that you have been burdened with this for so long. You who gives and gives and gives and puts up with so much. My heart goes out to you for the hurt this situation must cause you. I see it as jealousy and hope and pray that it will end.

45th Parallel Quilter said...

Bully (NO pun intended) to you for taking the "high road" but I can certainly understand your frustration. Too many people today feel that drama needs to enter every aspect of their lives ... it takes too much energy to be that vindictive. I am sorry you were subjected to this and glad you cleared the air and got it off your chest. THANK YOU for all you do for the quilting community ... we owe you a HUGE debt of gratitude. God bless! Linda

maria said...

There is Karma; so just continue doing the great job that you do. God is always aware of every thing.

Jami Carr said...

I'm curious whether the "BULLY" is a part of this super secret group that is trying to bully all those that they deem "different" from themselves? I don't need a name, I'm not asking for a name, but I find that life is to dang short to be either a mean girl or a bully. What are they...10 years old???

quiltmom05 said...

Not good. Not good at all. I thought quilters were kind, giving and sharing people. I now realize that isn't always the case. Take care and know that you have our support.

Lori said...

Still going on? Goodness- that is ridiculous. Nothing wrong with clearing the air here and now!

Mary said...

I love your pattern for Allietare. What I love is your generosity to all those who follow you . Appliquer is jealous of your success and her lack and that sends her lashing. So sad she can't be professional in her dealings. Glad you had a "paper trail" for your exchanges. Love your quotes of the day. Tired of bullies and mean girls. I agree, time to sew some bonus triangles! Mary / stitchinggrandma.wordpress.com

Sheila Walker said...

I'm sorry to see a kind, giving, person such as yourself, subjected to this. Thousands of us support you and love you. Sending you a virtual hug.

Cats said...

be your own person as you have always been.... until today's notice, i had no idea anything untoward was happening... besides getting rid of 'thing', finding a new cabin, all the wonderful life experiences you have shared... had no idea... you know what? i would hope most strongly that you can bundle up all the "nonsense", put it in the trash and look at what your life is really about... all those notices and blogs about classes and seminars and retreats. Sitting at airports with the handwork, notices from me (and a bazillion others) to encourage you and give you hugs.... OMG BONNIE HUNTER... i understand you had to let loose and let go and let us know what was going on, but really? this is so much nonsense... only give it as much attention as you must to protect your brand and business... what does she want? all of us to meet at the beach somewhere and set fire to our many Allietare quilts? Not me! I put too much energy and love (as you have to) into this "hobby"... ah... i could go on and on and if we were to sit and sip a glass of wine and talk love and fabric and quilts... ??? maybe the other will just fade away... let's not put any more energy into this issue... it's not you, nor me, nor all the others who love and appreciate who you are and what you do and just LOOK, take a small moment to LOOK at the contribution you make to so many lives. Enough... love you ms. quiltville, love yourownsweetself and move on... MomCats

Carrie Frees said...

Sometimes you have had enough....then it's always the "other" person who says they were bullied because you finally spoke out. Been there have the t-shirt. Its a narcissistic personally and there is NOTHING you can do to alleviate the problem, no matter if you keep silent or bring it all out. Never apologize for what you know in your heart is right. They despise being ignored but it's always the best in the end for you. You are a very gracious and happy person, let no one steal your thunder!

kathy johns said...

Stay strong, you know what the truth is.

Judy Clay, a quilter at heart said...

Some people like a whole lot of drama in their lives. So sorry you have to put up with a bunch of BS.

Debra Esper said...

You are the best!

robin wood said...

I'm so sorry you have been treated badly. I am, however, proud you are standing up for yourself now. Keep your head high. I will be praying for you and remember, in the end, the truth will stand high. Hugs & Blessings

Sandie G said...

We love you.

Susanna Cornett said...

Bonnie. I am so sorry. I know what a drain it is when you are being harassed and accused publicly of wrongdoing you never did. I went through it for six years from a former friend, who even had other friends in common write me letters saying I was going to hell for what I had done. But I didn't do it. Those friendships were broken too. People who saw all the evidence knew my innocence, but once it is out there it's hard to get to every corner where it spread to show it is a lie. I am glad you put this info out there. You are a classy lady, and I think that is abundantly clear to all of us. I wish you had told us the appliqué designer somI could avoid her work in the future, but I understand your reluctance. I've never gone public with the name of my harasser either.

Susan said...

I failed to see the reason you mentioned secret conservative people. I am a conservative and I follow you and still have my mystery A quilt to finish, am I not wanted?

robin wood said...

I'm so sorry you have been treated badly. I am, however, proud you are standing up for yourself now. Keep your head high. I will be praying for you and remember, in the end, the truth will stand high. Hugs & Blessings

Michele said...

I'm glad to hear the rest of the story. As someone who attended that quilt weekend I've wondered why your name wasn't on the published pattern. I eventually left the other persons fb page because there was too much stirring the pot and victim talk. I won't bring it up but thank you for sharing this with us. I wanted to ask in class in VA a couple weeks ago.

Parker said...

When I first heard about this story more than a year ago, I was very surprised the appliqué designer could be so destructive. It totally turned me off and I haven't patronized her shop, classes or designs since. You, on the other hand, are still my favorite. Don't let her get you down. Thousands of us have your back Bonnie.

Linda Laforest said...

Wow! That really knocks my socks off. How difficult and upsetting for you. Very sorry you have to live through that. We quilters are just having so much fun with your mystery quilts and patterns, we had no idea. I am a firm believer in karma although I am sure you wish her no harm. Remember what our grandparents use to say: you reap what you sow (I know I know....should have put sew...).

Barb Peters said...

So glad you have sewing to get to! So sad we have some who choose to be mean. Know you will still be misunderstood by some but keep being you: creative and generous with it, fun-loving and cheerful, trusting and yet careful. There are a lot of good people out there who love you and what you do, including me. Prayed for you and for her and for peace in our time!

Donna Hill said...

This happened to me at work Bonnie and I ended up leaving my job because of the bullying. I tried the high road and it got me nothing but more bullying. So, congratulations to you for standing up and letting everyone know there are two sides to every story. I am so very proud of you!!

Cherie Reynolds said...

Good for you Bonnie. Sometimes you have no other choice than to stand up and tell your side. I hope this is the end of your issues but something tells me this woman just likes making others miserable.

Colleen Yarnell said...

Bonnie thank you for being your positive self alwAys! I hope you can let go. I'm sorry you lost a friend over it.

Linda V said...

I'm so sorry. Seems like there is a lot of bullying going on nowadays. Adults can be the worst. Makes me so sad. Sending hugs. ❤

charlotte keene said...

So sorry you had to go through this and more sorry that you still are. It's hard to deal with negative situations short term but when things drag on and on... well, it's just too much and can be debilitating. Just know that there are those of us in the quilt world that love you and your designs. We look forward to the mystery every year and 'Thank You' for sharing that freebie with us! Stay strong Bonnie and God Bless You!

Bev said...

What goes around, comes around. You did the right thing and right will come to you. The other was a bully and 'bully' is what she will get in tbe end. It is sad some people behave in such a manner.

Pat Oster said...

Sounds like you are the one being bullied. Stay strong.

juliea said...

Obviously, you are not the problem. It is ubfortunate when adults act worse than children. Sounds like you are better off without her in your life and am sorry you had to go through this.Hd your chin up and keep on keeping on. You are awesome!

Karen Schwitzner said...

that individual is not only wrong, but a bit paranoid. sorry you've experienced this.

Kim said...

Yikes that is just awful.
You know we stand with you......you have a lot of
followers that support you.
Standing up to bullies is the only way!

Happy Sewing and continued success Bonnie
so sorry for your heartache.

Debbie Lou said...

I'm so sorry you have had to go thru all this mess. I had no idea this was going on. No one would ever know following you and all your sweet, kind and informative posts. I think you need a huge HUG!!! Hope you can sweep it all under the rug.

Sharon Britt said...

Sorry about this, what a very sad person she must be. Just remember karma, it always wins in the end.

Kathi Montoya said...

Thank you for being so brave and just plainly and honestly stating the case. It is unfortunate (very diplomatic verbiage!) that people act in this manner. I am not a member of a guild, just a little lorn quilter out in the hinterlands, but I appreciate talent from all parts. Never let anyone take your bliss away. You are talented, you are unique, and you choose to share that with folks who appreciate your work. This week has been very negative. It is really illuminating when we thoughtfully internalize and recognize (I mean, REALLY recognize) that our life on this planet is so short; we are not even guaranteed tomorrow. So, as they say in the movies, "shove all that behind us", and go on to create, enjoy fellow-minded quilt artists (because aren't we all?), and revel in the beauty of creativity!

cityquilter grace said...

ay caramba!!! tough times don't last...tough people do...

annie123 said...

Really unbelievable that a so called quilter could be so small and petty. I am not nearly as kind or patient as you Bonnie, I would file suit for defamation of character.

Susie said...

Love you Bonnie. Peace

Kathy Harris said...

I've now heard of two quilters who have been bullied by this "secret conservative quilting group." (whoever they are) Some people just can't follow the rule I was raised with - "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." The Golden Rule also says to "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." YOU have done that Bonnie by being warm, generous, sharing of your talent with your mysteries and free patterns. That other person will continue to lose friends with this negative attitude and will have a miserable life due to her attitude. We love you Bonnie.

Janet said...

I'm glad you are strong, sorry that you have to be so. Taking the high road doesn't always settle things well. You cannot reason with a crazy person. You have the documentation- use it when the right time comes. Please take care of yourself. Life is too short to waste on idiocy.

rcp said...

Wow! Bless you! Wow! I am in shock!

Ivy Koritz said...

Guilt makes the guilty person sensitive to reading into any comment that you make. It is not you, but their own conscience convicting them. Given that, Linda V. Taylor (Linda's Electric Quilters) once told me to never share the purchase of a quilting machine with a friend--arguments will only ensue. I'm sure you were trusting a friendship and you have described that you did all you could in contributing to the friendship; but professional jealousy is rampant. If I counted correctly, Allietare was done by over 2,000 people--and it's a rare teacher that has that kind of following! The fact that you did it for free is even more amazing. Thank you for all you do and remember what a huge appreciative audience you have. Try not to sweat the small stuff--the lone critic--even though they are as pesky as a persistent fly.

Lynn Wilson said...

Glad you stood up to the harassment. I have, to say that I wish I knew who the appliqués is as I do not want to do business with a person who uses Facebook as a bully forum. I have retired from Facebook as I find it to be used for many horrible purposes. That decision was reinforced by the revelations involving the "conservative quilters' secret group" and now by your story.

Bren said...

Sounds like she needs a taste of her own medicine, file a harassment law suite against her and a restraining order. I'm pretty sure every unit in that quilt is free and in the public Domaine for anyone to use. You need a great big hug, some deep breaths and confidence in knowing you have done nothing wrong. I love the quotes you post and use them as encouragement to make myself a better person... if she reads something into it she must be feeling guilty or ashamed of herself.... hee conscience is talking to her...she needs to listen...

Lenore said...

Professional jealousy can be very ugly. Well done Bonnie you have the right to speak out. The thousands of people out there who follow your blog, Facebook, attend workshops etc etc are here to say thank you for all that you do in the quilting world and for your unconditional giving of self. It is evident from the comments posted on your blog daily that you are well respected and held in high regard across the world. Sadly professional jealousy can be debilitating, I can only feel sorry for the person Who continues to give you grief, professional help is needed so he/she can move on.

Mamie sylvie said...

Well, you certainly hid it very well as I never suspected a thing during the mystery. So sorry you are going through such a terrible thing. Love your quotes of the day, always seem to be appropriate for the moment! But I think that you might have to find a way to make it stop however unpleasant that might be. Continue doing what you are doing your own thing as it is awesome! I will always be a fan! Thank you for all that you do!

Unknown said...

Gonna pull out my Allietare and get her finished in your honor Miss Bonnie! Stay strong...

Wanda said...

Bonnie until today I had no idea this was going on. I see you as the bigger person I this story andprsy that it finally ends. I love your quilts as do many of my friends. Praying that God grants you peace.

Patti said...

The high road is often bumpy and lonely. I've followed your blog for so many years. You feel like an old friend. We do have to stand up for ourselves. Assertion is not aggression. Thank you for telling your side of the story. May it dissipate into the atmosphere and never be heard from again. Sew on Bonnie!

JoAnne in southern California said...

Dear, dear, Bonnie, I applaud you for telling us. A burden shared is halved and you shared it with so many. I cannot tell you how sad this makes me, that you have suffered this way. If I had not already bought all your books, I would go order them right now! You are a gem in the quilting world, an absolute gem! God bless you, I sure hope you feel better now that you have shared this. I hope that it all goes away now.

Janet Smith said...

I am so sorry Bonnie. Afraid that there are some people who never grow up. Bullying happens at all ages. it is time you spoke up... Praying that this will be the end of it but if it isn't...Stand your ground and I will keep praying for you.

I love quilting and the industry but I must say that I have seen some ugliness in some events that made me sad and pushed me away. I have a situation I have to deal with too...that has gone on for years and I just can not seem to resolve it...with a well known person in the Quilting Industry. I keep contacting the person privately and they say they will take care of it but they don't...

On a side note...I love your Mystery quilts even though I have trouble doing them as a mystery...That is OK...I work on them in the winter after the reveal...and sometimes it takes the next winter to finish them too...I am working on my Allietare as we speak and it should be done within a week or two.. and have the fabrics and instruction for this years but now that the garden season is upon us...it will wait till the winter....I just have too many hobbies that I love..

quiltndj said...

You are the best! I had no idea any of this was going on in the quilting world. I guess I have been too busy sewing string blocks and half-square triangles for my Jamestown Landing started in Mineola at Stitch N Heaven.

Carole said...

Bonnie, I'm sending a big hug, I'm so sorry for all of this. Just know that you are loved and appreciated.

Vickie Lewis said...

I love your work and wish you well with all this bullying, you have the right to tell your side. It's their loss, very sad.

Vickie Lewis said...

I love your work and wish you well with all this bullying, you have the right to tell your side. It's their loss, very sad.

rebecca said...

I hear you telling us to sew our four patches with the seam headed into the presser foot, this will give us a perfect intersection. Ever since you taught "me" that here on social media with en Provence I make so few mistakes with that. You do realize you change lives for the better I hope. #beenbulliedtoo, chin up, feel the support of thousands of quilters. Thank you for helping me recover from being bullied. Some people are just crass, can't fix that.

Marj said...

I feel for you. Hugs and I hope all this childish bickering in the quilting community can end soon.

Rochelle Hunt-Roy said...

-Dear Bonnie: I found Quiltville by accident when I first signed onto Facebook, ready blogs sometimes, and admired quilts. Then in October 2014, two things happened, I found the article about your mystery quilt, and the colors, and I was given a gift by my office for my 20 yrs of service. Since that time, I read your Quiltville posts, and blogs faithfully. I am generally a pretty good judge of character and you have it in spades. I have seen y our posts about your daughter, your sons, your family. I have seen your designs, from mystery quilts to ones for your books. I would NEVER believe that you would commit copyright infringement. Even on your own books owned by a publisher you did not, and one would have thought you had the right. As for bullying charges, NO, just NO. I feel for you, you have been going through a lot. I am glad you have said your part. I believe that holding your peace, often leads to further conflict rather than helping to stop it. May your peace be restored to you, and may you sleep well tonight.

Sheryll said...

Sending love and light from across the great Pacific xx

Paula DiMattei said...

So sorry to hear what you went thru. All I can say is your are a class act, Bonnie Hunter. And I so admire all that you do. Thank you for your wonderful quotes. I take them as advice as how I might become a better person. Sending hugs your way....

NDQuilter said...

Oh Bonnie I am so sorry you had to go through this and it is still going on. I am glad you stood up for yourself. I respect you for doing it. Thanks for all the Mystery's that give us such pleasure. I hope this will be the end of all the bad things that have been turned on you. Just not fair.
Many hugs from North Dakota.
Rhonda

Carolyn T said...

I am so sorry you have been dealing with this ugliness. You have always been so generous with your quilting friends. How sad that someone had to do this to you.

Linda Carpenter said...

Bonnie, I love my Allietare Quilt. It was so much fun to make. The color way was not something I would have selected, but it made me stretch my boundaries. I am grateful.
This other person needs to get a life! Thank you, Bonnie for all you do for the quilting world. You are an amazing woman...Hugs...

Lori said...

Congrats for standing your ground and not allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.

debra revay said...

Bonnie, I'm so sorry that you have been going through this. I had no idea you were being put through so much turmoil. I just hope you know that there are so many quilters that love and adore you. You are our hero. You have taught us so much and we appreciate every thing you have done for your followers. Stay strong and keep the faith. We are 100% behind you.

LAURIE LAURICELLA said...

Sounds like she has a guilty conscience if she thinks the quotes are about her!

Susan In Texas said...

For what it's worth, I don't think the pieced hexies look anything like the alternate block in last year's MQ. They seem to be a separate, special technique (that I like very much!) I read your blog daily, and honestly, today was the first time I ever heard anything about this controversy at all, so I have no idea where she is coming from, you are definitely not a bully! But a quick peek at her blog identified that I had guessed correctly. Sigh. I thought yesterday's post was all about Karen Mctavish, which is a totally different issue. As I commented on her blog, I think you are both terrific quilters that I admire very much. I'm sorry this has happened and I wish you both the very best.

Genee' Davis said...

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I admit, when you went together with her to do this, I had a very bad feeling about it. Unfortunately, at times, I have an intuition about people and I keep my mouth shut (no proof) but it seems to be true sadly.
You are so giving, generous, honest and so much more! You are loved and apprrciated! You took the high road and I am so proud of you! Now, I'm off to Instagram to unfollow her. It's not as if she had much to say other than coffee and what she's having for breakfast!😅😅 hee hee (hope this made you smile!❤)

Donna Fisher said...

I am sorry you have been going through this. It is undeserved. Don't let it get you down any further. We all have your back. You bring so much to us both in quilting and positive attitude. With love from Tallahassee.

ddavis said...

Bonnie:
Good on you....
You have stood up and exposed the truth which is the very thing it takes to drive off a bully...
Sending support...

SallyC said...

I'm so sorry you've had all this grief. I've always said that quilting as a hobby is made even better because all quilters are lovely people. Obviously I was wrong. ☹️

Candy Minton said...

I cannot believe this has continued for a year and a half. I have known the truth from the get go and am still amazed how this whole thing could happen in the first place.
Jealousy is an ugly thing.
I am glad you finally told the world your side. I hope you get some peace soon! I love you and am greatful for all you have given me, my mom and daughter, and the quilting world! Hugs!

Kathleen Lambert said...

I am so sorry you have been going through this. Stay strong as you have millions of fans including myself who will always back you.

Nan Fry said...

Bonnie Hunter, you kind, beutiful soul. What an awful thing to have to deal with, bless your heart. I had no idea all of that was going on as I suspect many others also didn't.
Look after yourself we love you, you are too precious to lose lady. All love xxxx

Shirley Ikin said...

Oh Bonny , good on you girl for standing up for yourself ....it's not always easy to know how to deal with things like this ,you tried the peacemakers way first but eventually had to choose self preservation ... I feel great respect for you , your a great role model for all of us ....
Love your work Bonny :) xxx

Buckles said...

I'm very sorry that you gave had to be subjected to this Bonnie. I just want to say that your vintage quilted inspirational quotes ave me cause to check myself this week - the one that inferred that a secure person doesn't need to point out someone else's errors. Thank you, you (in your subliminal way ;) stopped me from saying something that I had no business saying. We can always learn a lesson, keep those quotes coming please.

Kerry said...

Wow! It's been documented and saved - perhaps if the bullying persists you could publish the whole conversation between you - other person will end up with egg on their face. I wonder if the publishers have been a bit of a catalyst there - sometimes a weaker person will bend to their mindsets. Doesn't excuse said other person.
But kudos to you - you've not mentioned the other person's name to shame. And you don't need to because now you rise above it all.
So sorry you've had this to deal with for such a long time.

Irene Onderweegs said...

How sorry I feel for you cannot be said or written. Slander however is punished and regarded by the Bible as murder, and this just happened. Be sure you are carried and loved by your friends, and we will be at your side just because you are not giving in to hatred. Remember there is more insanity outside the psychiatric ward than inside, and sickness like this has no borders. Probably she made more victims, and probably she got away with that too. Be glad she's not family.... Love you as you are, and I am so grateful that you want to share your life and creativity with us. Thank you from the bottom of my soul.
Be strong as ever, from Witmarsum,
Irene.

conny's quilts said...

Well spoken Bonnie. Good to remain decent in this longtime bullying period.
I love all your quiltvotes each day, most of them I kopy to my computer to read them over and reflect on them. Wish you all the best from the Netherlands, Conny

marijke Kleefman-Sandee said...

I,m sorry that you have to o go true all of this .You are so loved by all the quilters who are following you ,Thanks for all the blogs ,I,m looking forward to the next one .
lots of love ,Marijke

Betty Biscuit said...

Dear Bonnie, I have loved your blog since chancing upon it and have always thought what a kind and decent person you are. I live in a very rural spot, so distance and time preclude me from ever having a chance to sew with other, but I hadn't realised that our 'gentle' hobby could generate such nastiness. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate the help and generosity you offer all of your readers and how much pleasure reading your posts gives me.
I'm shocked to hear of the bullying behaviour you've been subjected to, but reading through the many comments before mine, it's clear that there's a wave of love and support coming your way from right around the world; I hope it helps a little to know how highly you're thought of by so many.
You're a kind person (and it's not necessarily a comfort after enduring eighteen months of malice), but bullies rarely ever prosper because their negative mindset eats them up too, in the end - not something you'll ever experience!
Hugs from Scotland:) x

Linda Batziris said...

Hugs from down under... you inspire me all the time ... with all the things you have gone through and now this ... you are indeed a strong and lovely sharing person ... xxoo

Mrs T-W said...

(Hugs)

Marjolein den Boer said...

Speechless - that you have to deal with this. Simply cannot bend my mind around grasping that people make others go through something like you have experienced. I even more appreciate all you do for us in the quilting community. And I love your inspirational quotes. Big hug from the Netherlands xxx

Sheila said...

Bonnie ,I admire all you do and I totally agree there is a time for standing up, and also a time for silence but so glad this time you are speaking out and I hope this will end your nightmare with this person . Keep on doing what you do so well , we all love you and your work .

Terry Angell said...

I have read your blog for over a year and know that you always take the high road by choosing love and kindness. Your quotes are an inspiration to me and I have printed many of them and they hang in my sewing studio. When one is trying to do good, I found there can be a source of evil working in the background and have experienced this when working and at play. I was born in Minnesota and now live in North Carolina. Keep your head down and continue the good work. I hope our paths will cross one day and will pray for your protection and strength. Terry

rebecca said...

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. Having your own business and all the legal issues has to be overwhelming at times. I pray that you and the other quilter find peace and this long quarrel ends. Life is way too short for negativity. (((hugs)))

Sherry Yeakel said...

I know how hard you have tried to forgive, forget and move on. But when someone won't let that happen you have to stand up and make a statement. Your courage is amazing, I hope others will take heart from your actions. Bonnie, you have such a kind and loving heart and a joyful spirit that you share with literally thousands, thanks for not letting anyone dim that bright light!!! Love you girl! Hang in there, this was the right thing and the right time to finally say something!

Pixielove said...

I get a lot from the affirmations you post on social media. I look forward to them. Thank you for posting them.

karenbbsnow said...

Thank you Bonnie for all you do. I have learned so much from reading your blog.... you're an inspiration, not just for sewing but for all your energy and your kind, generous heart.

MofTexas said...

I can tell how hard this has been for you and I'm glad you have moved past this Quilter's anger. I hope this doesn't prevent you from working with other quilters as most are wonderful people.

Jo said...

I totally understand when there is friction on a design. As someone who has been designing blocks for over 50 years. I know there is such a thing as two people drawing the same block. I have stacks of graph tablets where I constantly drew blocks. As I look back through my tablets, lots of the designs that show up in magazines etc. are found in designs I drew years ago. You were smart to keep all the information to prove you had permission to use. Now days there are people who think they have invented a nine patch. Bless you for just staying silent and taking care of business. I think all of us who love your designs know you are NOT out stealing ideas from others. Hang in there. We all love your quilts and your talent.

Sharon J. Hughson said...

I'm so sorry this happened to you, Bonnie. You do not deserve it.

Cathy Victor said...

Bonnie, Thank You for speaking out about your experience. I know that it must have been a hard decision to make because you seem like the type of person who would rather take the high road. I have been following you on your journey for many years now, and am truly thankful for everything you give to us as a quilting community. I am sorry that your friendship was severed, but life is short and sometimes it is best to move on (as you have) rather than continue in a toxic relationship that does neither side any good. Please continue being yourself and, as hard as it might be, don't close yourself off to new relationships. Know that you have many friends who stand by you(even if you've never met).

nancyb said...

Oh my goodness! Is she related to my mother in law? I've kept silent all these years and by doing so I have given my mil permission to continue. She's 95 years old now and it's too late for me. Speaking out now Bonnie is the ONLY way for you to go. Whoever this person is, she's jealous and angry about your success and your talent. I say if she continues to attack your name and brand then you need to tell us who she is. She obviously has skipped over the part where you've worked your butt off. If she spent as much time working on her brand maybe she could be as successful as you. We love ❤️ you Bonnie. I hope you know that!

Quiltnut said...

I can not believe the smallness of people today. Where are the times when things were much simpler and people loved their neighbors. Quilting is a craft and an art that people engage in for their career and pleasure. Why people have to keep going at your for your beliefs and designs is beyond me. Keep up the good work. Try to think that there are more people out there they are supported of you than the small insecure people that spend there life making other people's lives miserable. I am sorry that you have to keep dealing with this. God Bless!

Nancy said...

Bless you, Bonnie, for finally standing up and trying to right this wrong! It is sad that the person taking the 'high' road is often mis-treated in life! If I knew the name of this bully, I would instantly go thru my patterns and such and delete this person from my life as well!

Just because I don't think bad/wrong behavior should be rewarded. Karma often takes care of this type of person without you doing anything, but, in the meanwhile, the adversity can have an adverse affect on your health - and it will only end when you do what you are now trying to do. Stand up and be heard.

I, too, thought Quilters were an especially nice group of people to 'hang around with' due to all the goodness in their heart - doing good for others thru their needles and thread! Why does there always have to be a 'bad apple' in the bunch. Anyone who does their 'research' on you and follows you - must be abhorred at the treatment you have been enduring at this persons hand!

Amazing support you must have in order to endure this bullying! What's the saying - if you don't stand for something - you'll fall for anything? Does that apply?

You don't need to stand alone anymore! We love you! Thank you for being there for so many! I have met you at the Grand Hotel on Mackinaw Island and consider myself a pretty good judge of character. If the two of you were side by side, I think, without even knowing who this sad bully is - you would shine regardless :)

Jan @Cocoa Quilts said...

Bonnie, thanks for all you do and all you share. I am sorry that you are the recipient of this behavior. It is a shame that adults ( I use that term loosely) spend so much time on the negative. Their life would be so much fuller if they focused this energy on the positive. You are a blessing to the quilting community.

Ellie said...

Thank you for sharing this painful story with us. I'm sorry you have had to endure this, especially at a time of year when good will should prevail and you are sharing your talent so freely with your fans. I hope this will truly end this horrible episode. You have tremendous support in the quilting community. You don't need to stand alone. Some people feel the only way to feel good about themselves is to tear others down. You are far above that. Your fans love your creativity and enthusiasm. I hope you will feel supported by all the comments pouring in for you.

Ellie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eagan bird said...

Hugs to you! Thank you for speaking up about bullying. Quilt on!!

Tiffanee said...

I totally admire you Bonnie! I'm sooo sorry you've been the recipient of such terrible actions. I will pray for your peace! You are such an AWESOME person in my book! I absolutely LOVE your daily quotes! I've saved most of them as they have opened my heart to become a better person and to not SWEAT the small stuff! Thank you for taking the time to invite us ALL into your life at the cabin, your sweet Sadie, your teaching adventures, your live posts, your FREE MYSTERY quilts and for just being YOU!!! Hugs from Arkansas!

robert donolli said...

Dear Bonnie It is time to block this person. Stress is never good for anyone. If you feel you have done all you could to resolve the issue then it is time to resolve it in your mind and heal your heart. I believe you are better than this. You have helped so many to attain their goals. Life is short. You may have to use legal ramifications on this case. Seems like she would not quit. No matter what, it is going on too long.

Sandy Zlotkowski said...

Bonnie, I am so sorry that you had to endure this suffering from a fellow designer for so long. It is not right to be treated this way by another person. From your daily quotes on YOUR blog, help me to be a better person, to be a good Christian person. Your love and sharing of yourself is a light in this fractured world. Bonnie, you are the best and admire your convictions. Be true to yourself. We all love you.

Cathy McIntee said...

Dear Bonnie, I am so sorry the you have had to go through this. Good for you for speaking out and standing up for yourself.

Jeannette Tobin said...

Bravo! Well said.

Snowcatcher said...

I love your quilts and your quotes. I look forward to your heartfelt and uplifting quotes every day.

Cathy said...

OH my! So sorry you've had to endure this. You are one special, strong, gracious, giving, fun loving woman! The truth will set you free and you have risen above it. You have been honorable, through this whole process. I hope this is finally behind you now. Thanks for all you do!

Holly in Arkansas said...

I heard a quote yesterday I have not heard before but it struck me as so true. "Some say life is like high school only with money" I feel that way a lot. My mother warned me when I was in school that very little changes and that there will always be mean people. I got tougher but not hard enough to not let people hurt me to this day still. I feel your pain Bonnie. I am so sorry. Remember the problem is with this person and not with yourself, although when you hurt it is hard to see that side of it. She has many insecurities and the only way she can compensate for her lack of strength is by trying to steal yours.

Debbie said...

So sorry, Bonnie. I love your daily quotes because they speak to me so often.
The small person will not let it lie probably because the situation makes them feel powerful. I was attacked on my blog a few years ago so I understand taking the high road puts you in the open, and your desire to let it all go. No matter what came I just refused to take the bait, and it was months before it ended.
I love your attitude and work ethic......hang on!

Mikmaq Quilter said...

Very sorry to hear that some of your precious time in this lifetime has been taken over by someone who you called friend. In 2014 I had breast cancer and I learned just as you have that sometimes you have to deal with something so you can let it go. Letting someone have your precious time is like letting someone live rent free in your brain. Good luck and I hope you can put this all behind you. I love your site and how supportive everyone is to each other. Keep it up. Your members have your back.

Mary Redick said...

I'm so sorry to hear of this problem. You are a strong person, and finally sharing it must have been so hard for you!

Aktibbs said...

Bonnie,it must have been hard for you to share this unpleasant situation. You have given so much to all of your "followers" and it makes me angry that some other "professional" would do this to you. It makes me want to hurry and finish my Allietare as a tribute to you and your wonderful talent. I have a feeling more pictures of Allietare quilts will be shown on social media. Thanks for the joy and inspiration you share with us every day!

Rinachiyya said...

Oy vey, Bonnie I am so sorry you had to put up with all the drama and negative accusations. We all know that you are a wonderful sharing , giving person! You must feel so much better that it is out in the open. Some people thrive with a lot of Drama and twisting stories!
We stand behind you. I bet you feel better now that it is of your chest!
You are the best and it must be pure jealousy!
G-D bless you dear Bonnie!
Yoka Bazilewich

Deanna W said...

With all the support and comments you have to know we are with you. Anyone who knows you knows...copyright is something you very much look out for and don't infringe upon. Glad you have proof and papers to back you up. I feel that this person doesn't have much solid ground t stand on. You went into the venture with good intentions and now because of this bully all those intentions have been shattered.
I must say you have been dealing with it well as none of us were aware of it. You took the high road but even it comes to an end sometime and you needed to open up about your experiences without going all the way as to name the person.
Here's hoping this will have a good effect and the bullying will stop.
Sending hugs and positive thoughts to you!

Pat MacMillan said...

Your post shocked and amazed me. I have always found quilters to be friendly and helpful which is why I became a quilter after the death of my husband. Your posts are normally inspiring and uplifting which is why you are the only quilter I follow consistently. I have spent many hours piecing, quilting and sleeping under your quilts. Your designs have never failed to bring me joy no matter how I grumble about all the piecing of small units that create the beautiful designs. I know it is hard to stay positive in the face of adversity, but know your have a loyal following who love you. When things get tough in life, I sit down at my sewing machine and piece for hours. It has become a form of meditation and prayer in my life. God bless you.

Wendy Caton Reed said...

I am so sorry for what you have been through. Take a deep breath, pour a glass of wine and relax knowing there are thousands of us out there who appreciate you!

hummerlou said...

I am so sorry to hear you have been going through this! I know it is hard to speak out, but I am glad you did. We all support you and love you! Glad you kept documentation and hope everything calms down. Hugs

AnnieQuilts said...

Bravo for finally speaking up. So sorry you were subjected to this.

Judy Coombs said...

Chin up, quilt on! You are a kind and considerate person who operates in a professional manner adhering to her convictions. Close the door on this and know that no one who knows you would ever believe you of being mean or a bully! I love the inspirational posts with quilts in the back ground. Just as a pastor's message hits various members in the congregation with different messages seemingly meant "just for them", our own consciences speak to us in various ways when we read your quotes. This is an opportunity for healthy introspection, not an attack. Chin up, Quilt on! Hugs

Lea said...

I have no idea what preceded this post but I do hope it has brought you some peace, we all deserve that in our life. I hope you sewed something fun!

QuiltinLibraryLady said...

I'm so sorry you've been going through this, Bonnie. And in silence yet!! It sounds like you have done everything right...including keeping the documentation. Even the publisher decided everything was on the up and up. In my opinion the "other designer" just needs to be quiet and get on with her life. You would think she would have design work to do instead of spending so much time writing bullying posts for her FB page. Doesn't sound very professional to me. Just know that your fans stand behind you and pay no attention to those posts.Thank you so much for all your contributions to the quilting world.

Hanne said...

I am so sorry for what you are going through - I hope it ends now.
We all know what you stand for and keep on keeping on being who you are!
I love your quotes :-)

Sandi1100 said...

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through. I wonder if there is a little jealousy as you have become so famous. You're such a thoughtful person, always sharing with us. I hope it stops now for you. I for one, enjoy your Blog and all that you do for us.

Catholic Bibliophagist said...

Oh, Bonnie! I had no idea this was going on. I don't know how you managed to do all you do with this thing hanging over your head.

All the quilters I've ever met have been so much kinder than the general population.That a secret group of mean quilters now exists must be a reflection of how entitled to rage people have become on social media. (I have friends on both sides of the political spectrum on Facebook, and the snide put downs are not limited to conservatives.)

I think you did the right thing in telling your story when you did.

With best wishes, support, and prayers,

C.B.

Karla (ThreadBndr) said...

Just bought the pattern as a digital download in support. Hang in there.

People just need to settle down, mellow out and concentrate on their own business and making as beautiful a life as they can for themselves and their families.

I'm so tired of all the nastiness from all parts of the political spectrum.

Meshell said...

Some people will add fuel to a small flame just to draw attention to themselves. Especially if their own flame is just a spark. Keep doing what you do, we all love the daily quotes. If you take them personally, then maybe you need to do some soul searching.

Carol Stearns said...

The truth of the matter is, there are no sacred quilt blocks. A quilter may have seen something somewhere that resembled the block she ultimately put into a quilt. But this doesn't mean she copied or stole it. With the huge network of quilters everwhere, something is bound to be copied or made similar to what someone else has done. I can't imagine that anyone could have duplicated alletaire. Bonnie, thanks for speaking up. What about blocks that are tried and true, like churn dash and jacob's ladder? For heaven's sake, anyone can put these into a quilt with another unusual block and call it their own. Press on Bonnie, we appreciate you.

helen said...

Love everything you do with grace and dignity hang in there.

Unknown said...

When my bully took me to court over designs she claimed were hers, I ask the judge to have her sketch a few designs to prove her point, knowing full well that she couldn't. The judge just laughed at her effort and said, "case dismissed". Karma!

Elizabeth Boddie said...

Wow! I am sorry that this happened to you ,especially by someone you trusted. Hang in there. Sometimes you have to stand up to bullies else they continue to come back!

SHALEEN said...

You give so much to so many. Know that you are loved and appreciated and continue to be yourself

Hedy Hahn said...

I once corrected someone on FB who was bullying the President of our US. She knocked me off her FB page. I just can't stand liars so I didn't give a hoot. Hang in there with your head held high. You didn't do anything wrong, it's her issues.

Lisa T said...

I'm gonna be nice and just say "Bless her heart!' But I have stronger words for 'little' people who must make themselves look big by putting down others. It's really kinda sad and not what my momma taught me and what I taught my children. Ya just have to let it out and go on. It would feel so good to 'get her back' somehow but ya know, that's sinking to her level and it is just not the thing to do. If she doesn't stop though, put her name out there and for sure, she'll get something from you all right!! People are funny. You never really know what they are going thru and sometimes the best thing to do it let them have there little kerfuffle all by them selves - like you've been doing. If she doesn't stop this nonsense though, let her have it! xoxox

JB said...

Dear Bonnie,
You are a woman of character, and I am grateful for your gifts every day. Thank you for your generosity in sharing them. I've never seen the twist of a passive aggressive accusing her victim of passive aggression. Sheesh, you came across a bad apple there. Maybe all we can do is pray that her intelligence is someday turned to examining her own behavior. In the meantime, you have done the right thing in shining a light on it. Just remember not to pick up her baggage - it's hers. Go forth and enjoy life. Thankfully it's in your nature. : ). Thank you Bonnie.

Pat Hanna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Janet said...

You are the very best there is and try and forget it. I know that isn't an easy thing to do and as the mother of a Special Needs daughter you can go on and forget and forgive.
You have a fantastic program for all of us that love you and love your quilts.
These kinds of people aren't worth the thoughts or worries. They are just shallow people with nothing worth nothing!!
Love what you do and you!
Janet

Brenda Wall said...

Well that is a sad story indeed and a few years ago an acquaintance of mine faced the same thing. Sadly it made him so ill and cost him so much money and a few other things in his life going on that his immune system shut down due to the stress. He passed away a few years ago due to never recovering his health. This man was well known, the quilter(?) who claimed these copyright infringements was not, but she thought she was.
I am astounded at your ability to put all of these little pieces together and to get such beautiful results. Praying for peace for you in this situation and know that you are loved by many people. And I pray for the "appliquer" that she may find peace in this and "let it go".

Nann said...

Well, I for one am clueless about the entire affair. I'm sorry that someone vilified you -- and to the point that you had to tell all with this public post. I know that you exercise discretion so this was really, really bad.....and when you HAVE to go sew something -- we'd better look out because something wonderful is coming!

celkalee said...

Wow! I hope you see by the support in prior comments that you are appreciated and supported. While that doesn't take the stink away it certainly tells me that I am not the only one who appreciates your generosity and talent.

That said, sometimes we have to walk away and let others handle the problem. I have walked away from a group, just last week, who have nit picked me to the last of my patience. Life is too short.

Deep breath, may all the mean quilters have skipped stitches.

Ann in the UP said...

I think anyone who interprets your daily inspiration quote as a dig at her, has a troubled conscience.

We are so thankful that you do what you do. We never want you to have ANY troubles, much less troubles from mean quilters. Mean quilters should be an oxymoron!

I hope the meanies will fold their tents and go away. I hope I never find them either. I dislike mean people.

deborah sileven said...

I'm sorry for your trouble. It sounds very heavy and severe. I will pray for strength ,wisdom and peace for you and your quilt business. I enjoy your blog so much!

janequiltsslowly said...

Echoing the thoughts and kind words of so many here: you are unique and special in the quilt world and in the real world. Don't let them get you down!

Sharon said...

So sorry this is happening to you. You have every right to tell your side and glad you did. I notice that you are still taking the high road by not mentioning the appliquers name. Good for you. Have you talked to your lawyer about this? It would seem that there should be some recourse for you to stop the slandering. Glad I don't do applique, I'd hate to run into someone like her... here I am assuming it's a female and not a male. Love you, Bonnie.

Lesley Gilbert said...

((((((HUGS))))))

Tammie said...

I don't usually post on the subjects like this...but I'm compelled to do so.
Bonnie...you took the right stand...you handled the legal issue and let it go...it's everyone else that won't let it go...
"Where there is no fuel, the fire burns out..". If you who love Bonnie and want this bullying to stop, stop following this persons FB page, stop sending screenshots of what is being said to Bonnie..stop putting fuel on the fire. If we ALL ignore it, the persecutor will no longer have an audience except her own followers...the fire will die.
Let's focus on what's really important....finishing all those UFO's we've got piled up! 👍

Cindy Griffin said...

Bonnie. I hope now that you have SAID it OUT LOUD, your burden has been lifted off of your shoulders. Maybe now you can let go, the words of the BULLY will bounce off of you and not hurt you. Most times your silence gives the bully more strength. That has now been severed. You do not need to concern yourself with your quilting image. We all love you and support you. Take a deep breath, clear your mind, limber up your fingers, exercise your foot, and GO SEW!

kathy dahn said...

Gee, I was going to send you a thank you card for all the subliminal messages that have made me a better person because so often they apply to me or my "world". Keep on keeping on Bonnie, you are strong and from the looks of things hear you have a strong army right along with you!

Pat Hanna said...

Bonnie you are a woman of far more generosity and kindness than I would have under similar circumstances. God bless you, and thank you for everything you do for those of us who love the craft of quilt making.

Candice said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anita Balgenorth said...

Sad story. I am sorry you have had to go through all this. I have met you, taken two of your classes and follow your blog daily. I feel that you are a very special person who readily and willingly shares herself and her knowledge with other quilters who are happy and excited to learn from you. I am glad you have decided to get it all off your chest and maybe now you can move on with the love and support of your quilting friends. Blessings and hugs.

Susan said...

In reading these comments I am wondering who is this super Secret group

Nancy Smith said...

as I am the 162nd comment er (and probably many more) who is wishing that other person would disappear off into the Twilight Zone. We all appreciate the positive outlook that you share with the world, and for me personally you are one of my lifelines, Thank You...Nancy

Susann Chaplin said...

Dearest Bonnie, My heart is so crushed to hear about this bulling advent! Sorry you had to live threw it! I know how painful it is, since I have lived through it! I lost my 24 yr working job from it and had an incident in my quilt guild also, that have left me wounded and hurt. Some people are so mean.But I know that at the gates of heaven, my revenge will take place and I will not have to lower myself to do it!! You are such a wonderful lady. I look forward to meeting you some day soon! I feel like we are such kindred spirits already! You have given me so much joy in my life, not just to my quilting. God bless you.

Joanne said...

Well...I have been following your blog for about 6 yrs and I have found you to be super generous and always kind to others. I was totally unaware of this drama and am so sorry you have been dealing with it. I don't know who the other party is, and have no need to know, but I do think it is rather unprofessional to have a public dispute about it. It sounds like you hold all the legal cards so no problems there. I know it hurts and is disappointing but I hope you can "feel the love" and just carry on.

Wolfquilter said...

Hi Bonnie. I know that you are hurt by all of this bullying, but just know that you have so many people who love you, your personality, and your work. I think that sometimes the bullies are jealous because they don't have the same attributes as the person they harass. I'm happy you told your side of the story. Standing tall is the best. Peace and blessings to you.

Carol Hemmingsen said...

Anyone who has shared so much of her talent to the quilting community for FREE is not a bully in my eyes. Too bad you had to document everything to cover your interests. Take care - your class was one of the most fun classes I ever had!!

Cathy B said...

While I'm glad there is more public awareness of bullying in general, too often it seems the true instigators are the ones who "cry bully" against their very victim. There are always 2 sides to every story. You are just about the most giving quilter out there I'm aware of, giving back to the quilting community in so many ways. Thank you for all you do, and stay strong!

Angela Neff said...

You are the better person!

Susan said...

Not being a FB or other such social media, I have no idea who or what this "conservative" group is or who is involved. I do know that publishing the kind of stuff for all to see is not acting like an mature person, but is acting like a bully. This person must be very insecure. I have been in such positions before and even with having the documentation made no difference to the other person. Believe me, the publishers would not have sided with you if you had not been fully in the right. I an glad you got this off your chest. It may not change the other person, but at least your side of the story is out there.

cllcraft said...

Lordy, how does this happen - pride, arrogance, ego, or money? I don't see any of these qualities on your part, or even in your persona. I'm glad you spoke up, as non-confrontational can sometimes appear as a weakness, or an opportunity to take advantage. Does silence mean guilt? In this case, you have taken enough, and standing up is courageous and right. You were smart to document all this mess, even with a person who appeared to be a friend. I'd say what goes around comes around for this abuser. Sharing your time, talent, and kindness will win in the end - living by example is the best way.

Candice said...

Bonnie, I am so sorry you were victimized by a friend and co-author. I had already decided to de-activate my Facebook account for other reasons and now this just reinforces my decision. I will continue to read your blog directly here on your page and I'll see your Instagram posts. Take care of yourself, we don't want to lose you in the quilting community.

priscilla said...

Bonnie, All I know is that you do such good things for the quilting world. I SO look forward to listening & reading your quilt cams & daily writings. Stay strong. You've got a good conscience, continue to know it will guide you properly.

Valerie said...

For the person above who was concerned that since Bonnie mentioned "secret conservative people" and felt she was being included then in the group Bonnie was discussing. Bonnie actually said - "select group of secret conservative quilters" and referenced the earlier post that was about a group of that description who had a group on Facebook.

I am a people. I am in several Facebook groups. I am a quilter. But I am not part of the group that fits that whole list of descriptors, and I bet you are not either. Bonnie was discussing a very particular group of people who are in a specific Facebook group that is "secret" AND conservative AND quilters AND engaged in some very negative conversations. Bonnie is a generous, giving, loving person who has carried this situation around privately all this time and chose not to say anything negative towards anyone until it bcame apparent she was not alone in being targeted by this sort of activity. I choose not to look for ulterior motives in her post, but choose to take her at face value as the loving person she has always proven herself to be.

I hope this helps to set your mind at ease.

New Quilter in Texas said...

For the record, I have been following your blog for since before Grand Illusion Mystery, and I have never EVER remembered your making ugly or disparaging comments about someone else. That's not what you are about, from what I've read here. Also, if that person reads barbs in your daily quotes, I don't have anything to say other than "guilt conscience?"

Strlady said...

Wowza. I wish I could say I'm surprised but unfortunately I am not.
I recently had a falling out with a person I thought was a friend, who proved not to be one.
The sad thing was that I knew who she was since I saw the same behavior take place with other people that were sooo nice. She always felt like she was being persecuted and that people were being mean to her... didn't realize that all her misery was brought on by herself.

Sometimes letting it go works but words have weight and when there are others that believe the nonsense spewing out, you need to put your side out there... half of your business is your good reputation and there is no way you should let anyone tarnish it. Hope this resolves favorablely.

dottie said...

I am so sorry that this is happening. This shows the good and the bad of social media.

What you do is an example of the good side of social media. Thank you for including us in your life through your pictures, posts and quilt-cam. I have learned so much and enjoyed "watching" you move to the new cabin and make it a home. I love your quotes. I have felt both comfort and conviction from them. Some have made me look at the way I treat people and change for the better. Thank you for that.

The bad side of social media is the feeling of anonymity. It is real easy to sit behind and keyboard and type a bunch of nastiness or even just give a blunt opinion about something. I am not just talking about quilting. I have seen some horrible posts or comments on various groups that are just uncalled for. Sometimes we forget that someone is behind the post.

Bonnie, thank you again for all that you do. Stay strong.

Lesley Duncan said...

I am a relatively new quilter (3 years now) and I was incredibly lucky to stumble upon your blog 2 years ago. Since then I have learned SO SO much. I not only enjoy the tips and techniques that you pass on but I enjoy you sharing your home life, especially your trips to the cabin, and all the workshops that you teach. For me it is a travelogue of America. I think it is safe to say that we all love you Bonnie. Hold your head high and rise above it.

Kathleen Waite said...

I applaud you for standing up for yourself and am very sorry that you've had to go through this. As for me, I love your Quote in a Day posts.

purplepansy132 said...

I have dealt with bullies most of my life. In school the younger kids use to come to hide by me from the real bullies. the reason was I stood up to the bullies. Once you stand up to the you take their power away. No one that knows you Bonnie knows you are not a Bully those that think that knead to give their head a shake and look at both sides. the fact that you did not say anything says how big of a person you are. I love your mysteries.

Santee Bobbie said...

Sadly,it probably won't stop. Living your life as you do;honorably with consideration to
all you meet is it's own truth. Handling the situation intelligently & legally was necessary but will never be the salve for the emotional pain. I believe living your life as you do daily with honor and compassion is all the explanation anyone needs or deserves. The other parties will have to live with themselves, and good luck to them as they will need it.
You are well respected as well as loved. Being in my life on a virtual basis is a bonus for me,my thanks to you.

Marilyn said...

Bonnie so sorry you have had a rough year, and I thought quilters were such a nice bunch! Well every section of life has some mean souls. I recently took myself off a quilt sight as the person encouraged her followers to post mean messages to another quilter I don't want to be part of a group like that. I love being part of your quiltville "family" and really appreciate all you do for us giving so generously of you time and love. Sending love back to you with a big hug from the UK. Marilyn. Xx

CathyQuilts said...

I respect you for not naming names, however, I would like to avoid this person, I speak with my wallet and I want to make sure I don't inadvertently support this quilter. How should I do this?
Love you Bonnie!

Jean said...

Prayers in your behalf Bonnie. So sorry that you have been going thru this. Thank you for being the better person. Hugs....

Janice said...

To support you during this difficult ordeal, I ordered your Allietare digital pattern. I've followed you for many years and I count you as a friend. I looked up this person as I had an inkling of who she was & I was right. I'm sorry this person has turned on you like this. Your patterns are a pleasant challenge. I'm working on 2 of yours and I learn so much from doing your patterns, reading your posts, and watching quilt cam. I measure the other few quilters by you. Keep up the good work. I've even been able to teach my daughter how to use a rotary cutter and many other steps to making a quilt. She's on her 2nd quilt! Hangeth thou in there oh baby!

Valerie Zagami said...

You are the better person and have a wonderful heart and are a kind person. Hold your head up and know how many love you and respect and perhaps have been bullied in the past. We have survived and are sending hugs and good feelings to help you get stronger. Bullies are weak!
Keep up your great work and know how loved you are.

Mary Bolton said...

So sorry to hear what you have endured. Hope this is at an end.

Teresa in Ojai said...

Wow. I read your blog pretty much daily, and had no idea. So sorry you have had this in your life. Good for you for speaking up. The energy and creativity you share in our quilting world has so many positive affects! Your actions speak for themselves. BTW - I LOVE my Allietare!

Elaine Nemeth said...

Accolades to you. A church down the street has had this saying up for about 6 months.

Silence is the enemy of truth.

I keep reminding myself silence means you agree with something. So practicing to speak up is on my agenda if something is not right.
and then rejoice!

Anne McKenzie said...

It is easier to stay quiet, but obviously this wasn't going to work in this situation. Hard to go through, but those who know you, or are your friend support you. Stay strong, hope the appliquer will realized when to give up. I for one appreciate what you shareso freely with us.

Lora Martin said...

Thank you for taking the high road, which is to speak up in the face of liars and bullies without sinking to the low road. You are probably not the only person who has been on the receiving end of this person's unreasonable behavior, so hopefully, your measured response will help someone else in her path.

Gero Aussie said...

Ahhh. Allieatere! My first mystery with you Bonnie. So pleased you stood your ground, it was a wonderful mystery and has been followed by two more wonderful mysteries. You bring such pleasure during the Christmas Season.
thank you and be strong.

Gero Aussie said...

Ahhh. Allieatere! My first mystery with you Bonnie. So pleased you stood your ground, it was a wonderful mystery and has been followed by two more wonderful mysteries. You bring such pleasure during the Christmas Season.
thank you and be strong.

52KID said...

Hi Bonnie, I once had a friend who was similar in many ways. When our friendship ended there was lots said about me apparently, but I did ignore it because I knew that all my proper friends or anybody who knew me well did not believe any of the rubbish. It looks to me like the same goes for you - there are so many of us out here that admire you so much. Keep you chin up and know that all the good people love you.

Julie Craven said...

Bravo Bonnie

Allison said...

So sorry this has happened to you, but well said, and good for you for standing up for yourself. I was bullied in a similar way at work, which lead to me resigning, an speaking from experience, keeping silent is often the first reaction of people with integrity! The time must have been right for you to be able to share your story. Stay away from these toxic people, and sew..sew..sew. Sewing was my stress relief. Thank goodness for mystery quilts and 1930's Farmers Wife - which allowed me to share my thoughts and feelings on each block on my blog - made me feel much better to 'unload'.
One word left to say ...KARMA!

Marcia Coffman Hicks said...

Bonnie,
Be comforted that you are standing in your truth, and that is the most important thing in all of this. You have now put your truth out there for others to know and now we can share in it as well, and that make us a bigger community. The circle just got bigger. Can you feel the arms of love ❤️ surrounding you? I hope so!

Pat said...

You are a strong woman. You are right to stand up for yourself. I love your quotes and love you and your work. I pray you will get relief from this burden and keep up your wonderful spirit.

Leslie Schmidt said...

My heart goes out to you, Bonnie. I know how demoralizing dealing with a situation like this can be. I hope the groundswell of support and love you are receiving will ease your mind and rest your heart. I've never met you, but I feel as though you are a friend, one I respect and admire. I am sure you are a person of integrity and honesty. Thank you for your generosity and kindness.

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