Dear Mary,
You crazy woman!! Your box of triangles arrived in the mail yesterday ----when I found it, crammed into my mail box, I couldn’t guess for the life of me what could possibly be inside --- but I tore into it with reckless abandon!
A WHOLE BOX OF TRIANGLES!
Some already pieced into half-square triangles, contained in a zip lock baggie --- looks like these are all color coordinated too! Reds, Whites & Blues!
Dig deeper, what do I find?
Blueberries so real looking I could pick them right off the fabric and have myself a delicious snack! Your note said Maine is famous for its blueberries -- I just might have to get up there during blueberry picking season!
Look at the size of these babies!! Oh, this is going to be fun! I see lots of scrappy triangles in my future!
And look at THIS beauty! You sent me another stiletto – so one can live in the suitcase in the sewing kit for travel, and this gorgeous number can live right by my machine for daily use!
If you haven’t checked out Mary’s Stiletto tutorial she so graciously shared with us, click HERE!
What a great gift for my 7th Bloggy-versary! I don’t know if you intended it to arrive at the same time, but it is a heart healer!
Thank you SEW MUCH, Mary!
I have someone very special on my heart today. Today is my daughter Heather Leann’s birthday. She would have been 30 today. She lived 17 days, and remains as always an infant angel in my mind.
I’ve been thinking about her a lot, especially after walking through that sacred space of God’s Acre cemetery in Bethabara, NC earlier this week. I know other mothers who have lost children will understand, and there will be those who wonder why I have to talk about it every year. Those who judge or question have possibly never buried a child. Because she is just as much my child and as real to me as my living, breathing sons are.
Happy birthday, sweet daughter ----
I love you,
Mama
Happy Birthday to your sweet little one. I have one in heaven too who would have been 28 in January, 2012. So I understand that on a birthday, some other occasion or on an ordinary day, your little one will be on your mind. :o) ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss Bonnie
ReplyDeleteSending you hugz as you remember your daughter. What a wonderful find in your letterbox, now I must look at Marys stilleto's.
ReplyDeleteMothers never forget... there is nothing wrong with wanting to talk about your daughter...
ReplyDelete(((Bonnie)))
What a wonderful gift. I am so blessed by your blog! Thank you for keeping us all posted. On another note, a friend of mine is a psychologist. We were talking about my quilting. She said perhaps I quilt because it is my way of creating reason. I am literally putting the pieces together in an attempt to heal my sorrows. I've often thought of this as I piece. Its a very private healing. Bonnie, I wish your heart healing from your loss.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sue ---I think my heart is as accepting and as healed as it will get. Healing doesn't mean forgetting. But yes -- I've been piecing my life together for 30 years now, and remember vividly telling myself to just keep piecing, just keep piecing, whenever life seemed too hard to handle ---
DeleteGod blessed you with your daughter & then took his little Angel home. You should always talk about her & share when you feel like it. God Bless
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your angel! My twin grandchildren (a boy and a girl) were born just a couple of months ago on March 5th and both went to heaven 2 days later on March 7th. Because of our little Morgan Reed and Meghan Christine, I started a ministry called Grandma's Promise that donates complete "Angel Ensembles" consisting of an angel gown, bonnet, booties, afghan/quilt to NICU units. After experiencing our own loss, I just had to do something to hopefully bring a small measure of peace and comfort to other families who will experience a similar loss. Slowly but surely, others are joining the cause and are volunteering to craft items. I'm amazed at how much has been accomplished in just 2 short months. Well, I didn't mean to write a novel....please just know that I truly understand what your heart is feeling. Blessings, Theresa Litz (aka Grandma) :)
ReplyDeleteA beautiful ministry. Thank you for sharing.
DeleteGrandma, Thank you for sharing, you have started a wonderful ministry in loving memory of two beautiful children.
DeleteFaye in Maine
What a fun box you received - don't you just love fun mail days? Hugs to you on this special day.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, keep talking and keep remembering. She is your daughter and you love her. That is what matters. My nephew lived half an hour and I had to say goodbye to him before I even had a chance to say hello, so I don't know what it feels like to be a mother and have lost a child, but I do know how important it is to remember.
ReplyDeleteThat must have been a lovely surprise. I am sure you'll meet Heather again one day in Heaven and you will know each other straight away.
ReplyDeleteBonnie you touched my heart this morning. DO remember and love her.
ReplyDeleteThe gift you received yesterday is precious too.
Just started raining in Maine and it's a sew day for Dana and I.
Thinking of you on this special day.
Maryella
Happy Birthday to your Heather....
ReplyDeleteAlways remember your daughter..precious angels all children are.
ReplyDeleteAnd the gifty box is good too. I'm going to have to study that tutorial and see if I can get a stilleto made.
Thank you Bonnie for writing your blog even in a time of personal sorrow. I am so sorry that you lost your daughter. I can not imagine the pain this has caused you. Bless you for being the wonderful person that you are. It is great that Mary's gift box arrived on your daughter's birthday. Happy quilting and hugs.
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary Bonnie... what a great box!
ReplyDeleteAnd Happy Birthday to Heather! I know exactly how you feel. My precious twins were born sept 25 1986 living in this world only a few hours, but forever in my heart. I got sternly shut down years ago and never talk about them. It really hurts whenever anyone asks me how many kids I have...I'm not allowed to acknowledge their short existence. I often wonder how different life would be if they had lived...
A wonderful surprise in your mailbox! We are lucky to have thoughtful people in our lives.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful name you gave your daughter. It is only natural to want to talk about our children and I know you must think of her every day. Take care
What an awesome gift! I can hardly wait to see the amazing quilts you make with the pieces. And, I celebrate Heather's birthday and life with you!
ReplyDeleteOct. is rough for me because of losing Angela Marie. SO very glad she was mine, but it has been so hurtful.
ReplyDeleteLucy
Special thoughts and prayers being sent your way, as you remember your special angel, Heather, on her birthday. I'm sure she is smiling down on you , and very happy that you took the time to acknowledge her here. I hope that you have a peaceful day.
ReplyDeleteAm I the last to notice the new quilts one your header strip?! the red one caught my eye first,then I realized they are all new! New book? So many questions. I love the stiletto, so cute and useful
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your daughter Heather's birthday with us! What a beautiful name for a special child. When my heart breaks for your separation, I think that through mourning and remembering we obtain everlasting comfort.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, little Heather!!! Pat
ReplyDeleteHave you read the book Heaven is for real I took great solace in knowing my Ruby Marie is growing up in Heaven and will greet us there one day.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely gift from Mary. That blueberry fabric is fantastic. Can't wait to see what you do with that one.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you and the family on your little angel's birthday.
Have you read the book Heaven is for real I took great solace in knowing my Ruby Marie is growing up in Heaven and will greet us there one day.
ReplyDeleteHave you read the book Heaven is for real I took great solace in knowing my Ruby Marie is growing up in Heaven and will greet us there one day.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you remember and write of your precious daughter. I am sure she has lots of smiles looking down at her very special Mom and Dad and brothers. Have a great day Bonnie.
ReplyDeleteWe lost our precious grandson 10 years ago. He would have turned 17 a few short weeks ago. Knowing that he is waiting for us all on the other side gives us the strength to carry on. Have a wonderful day.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you in my heart and prayers today Bonnie =^..^=
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful gift box! That should keep you busy for at least half an hour, right? Superwoman couldn't sew up triangles faster than you! I just love the blueberry fabric :*)
I don't usually respond, but today I feel I need to. I found out about your blog about 1 1/2 years ago. I love your stuff, your way of doing things, using everything, etc. Then when you blogged about the cemetery, I thought, she's buried a daughter-so have I. Nicole Rita was stillborn 20 years ago March 7. I am so glad I now know what your daughter's name is. Talk about her all you like. Yes, one never forgets one's children, no matter what.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, my angel son was 50 in May and I've accepted it but it still hurts.
ReplyDeleteI've never lost a child, but can only imagine the grief and loss. Of course you never forget, and why not mark the day that angel fleetingly joined your life? She is a part of you--how fitting to speak of her.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and warm thoughts. Bless your heart Bonnie.
ReplyDeleteTears came to my eyes as you wrote about Heather. It is a love you never forget. Anna would be 27 next month. She is my angel forever.Thank you for sharing this beautiful day.
ReplyDeleteI think there is nothing wrong with remembering. My day is April 9 our angel left us.We remember those who lived for years why not the ones who only breifly are in our lives. I know she is keeping her eyes on us!
ReplyDeleteScrappy_nanna@hotmail.com
Ontario Canada
Warm thoughts and prayers for your little angel.
ReplyDeleteHugs and Happy peaceful sewing
Happy Birthday to your daughter,She is your little one , then and now ! Loosing a child is an enduring and never ending, the days shared are missed, the missed daya are missed even more. Hugs to you allways
ReplyDeleteI believe that when a child dies a new star appears in the heavens, when you are missing your little angel look to the heavens and know that your loved one is also shining down on you. Know that you are loved.
ReplyDeleteWe celebrate our children because we are Mothers! My prayers for your angel who (I am sure) is helping to watch over you just as mine is!
ReplyDeleteI blogged about my Angel, too. http://jocrazymama.blogspot.com/2011/10/do-not-read-if-you-are-emotional-sap.html
Bonnie, a friend of mine lost her daughter at the age of 5 years. She built a small garden with an angel statue and a chair with flowers all around. She goes out there whenever she wants to spend quiet time with her precious little girl. Talk of Heather any time you wish. It breaks my heart to read of so many who have lost a child.
ReplyDelete"The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living - Cicero"
ReplyDeleteThis holds true no matter how short or long that life may have been. They live on through our memories and the sharing of those memories.
Thank you for sharing Heather with us today.
It is right that you honor your daughter and share her memory. As mothers, we love our babies before we ever meet them. When we hold them in our arms that love is multiplied. Some of us grieve for the ones not carried to term, they are still our babies and are never forgotten.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you on this special day. Wish my daughter had something as healing as piecing. Her oldest would now be almost 13...the years fly. Don't ever apologize for talking about your beautiful daughter. The ones we have lost are ever bit as much of our hearts as the ones we still have.
ReplyDeleteLoving, peaceful thoughts are with you.
I have two little angels in heaven who died before they were even born. I know that one day I will meet them and will finally be able to hold them. I don't know which is harder - loosing them after you have held them, or before.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this special day with us! You are loved.
ReplyDeleteSusan
Bonnie, please, please share the life and love of Heaather Leann
ReplyDeletewith us. We have three precious children who are in heaven waiting for us. I know someday I will hold them and they will know from me how very precious they are to me each and every day.
I am just so glad that we are now free to talk about them and to explain and share that deep loss we feel. Years ago it wasn't acceptable. I remember when people would say you will have another child..as if you can replace a child. May God bless you as you hold the memory of that special little baby in your heart.
Carolyn
I Love your mother for her giving to u and this is Mom is for giving, So did u give all those ladies, mothers and girls so much insperation and god will return it u back for sure
ReplyDeleteBonnie, thank you for sharing this with us. Sending hugs your way from one mom to another. I fully understand. We have a baby waiting in heaven also. I never got to meet and hold her but she is my baby nevertheless.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to precious Heather. And blessings to you her family. Hugs.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Heather, Bonnie. My Felix would be three in July. The pain comes and goes, but I know he's waiting for me, I just have to wait awhile until I see him again.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I have buried both of my daughters, one after 6 weeks and one after 33 years. I miss them both so much--a mother never forgets any of those special days. No one else understands what we feel as you can see by all of these messages. On a happier note, I just love all of your notes every day and I am amazed at all of your energy and all of the traveling you do. So glad that Sherry had you come to La Habra CA so I got to know who you are!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss of your daughter no matter how long ago, she is still in your heart forever. I lost my Mom two years ago today (she was 92), so today I'm trying to think of all the positive things she gave me, all the wonderful things she taught me, esp. sewing. And putting on a happy face to feel so blessed that she was my MOM. Tomorrow will be my 63rd birthday so I plan to celebrate my Mom and me at the happiest place I know...Disneyland. You are so blessed to have had Heather in your life even though it was too short, she will always be a blessing to you.
ReplyDeleteNow, for those triangles you are one lucky lady to have such a great box arrive. I can see you having so much fun with those. Looking forward to see what you make and post for us to enjoy.
((((Bonnie))))))
Kindred spirits we are.....I just celebrated Bryan Jeffrey's 29th birthday on the 29th of May....only got to hold him a few hours in my arms but forever in my heart....I too have "pieced" and "quilted" my way through some heavy hearted times.....somehow it has a healing power and gives me a creative path "forward"....Thanks for bringing us along on your journey, you are a blessings to many!!!Diane
ReplyDeleteMy baby girl Cora would have been 4 next month. Amazingly, it's the same day my little boy will turn 3. We celebrate with my sons every year by sending up balloons at her gravesite, and beyond that I will remember her every day in my heart. Happy birthday Heather!
ReplyDeleteAfter looking at your collective posts, Bonnie, it shows that what you are experiencing is universal, a mother's (aunt's, grandmother's, etc.) pain in a thing we can all feel at one time or another, and support each other by sharing. I have been fortunate to not have experienced this first hand, but have two sister's who each have. Always remember....
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the "triangles" box, looks like some good stuff there. And BTW, August is Blueberry season here in Maine, and I live in the heart of Blueberry country. Maybe able to help you with that....
Thinking of you...
Faye in Maine
Hugs to you, Bonnie, on this precious day. it is wonderful that you talk about your beautiful, precious daughter.
ReplyDeleteYou really should have native Maine blueberries. Look for Wyman blueberries in your grocer's freezer section- the next best thing to fresh. They are yummy in anything that requires blueberries. You won't be sorry!
Thank you so much for sharing Heather with us - we are all sisters at heart. Now I understand why you are such a fun, giving, observant person. You have been to the edge of your limit and realise how precious life and joy is. I find in times of difficulty I can't quilt - my creativity just goes, but maybe if I just pick up some fabric and start it will come to me.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your beautiful summer - it is winter here in New Zealand.
Alison
Of course you talk about your baby after all these years. She was/is still your baby, no matter what. I still remember the miscarriage I had, and wonder about that baby, too. Keep her close to your heart.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Heather. Bonnie, thank you for sharing her with us.
ReplyDeleteMy angel Katherine Rose would be 17 in September. I think of her every day. Thank you Bonnie for all the sharing you do.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Heather. Bonnie, thank you for touching so many hearts and changing so many lives!!! So greatful!!
ReplyDeleteDear Bonnie: You are truly an inspiration to all Mother's. You never forget the loss but dedicate yourself to your family and your passion. You have taught me that piecing will help to somewhat heal.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to Heather,
Hugs, Lynda, (Chicago) grannylynm@gmail.com
Yes, Happy Birthday, Heather!
ReplyDeleteIt has been almost 4 years that my son has gone on & I know I will remember & celebrate his birthday for the rest of my life.
You are a gift & an inspiration, Bonnie!
Huge hugs Bonnie.
ReplyDeleteDear Bonnie & also to Madakamom,
ReplyDeleteI lost 2 babies on the same date 2 years apart (14th Nov.) they were too young to be called stillborns but that still doesn't make it any easier.It is right to be able to speak & cry about these little ones who would now have been 29 & 27 years old. The are still a part of your family as every other pregnancy I was required to state "How many children had I carried" this number included the 2 little ones as well. So to Madakamom don't be bossed into not talking about your lost one. Treasure the memories & someday you will meet you darlings in heaven.Though I still dread the 14th November of any year.
Marion BP (Australia)
Dear Bonnie ~~ I remember our son, Zachary, every time I see a butterfly or a rainbow, a shooting star or a beautiful sunrise. A Mother's love is eternal. Blessings to you on your Heather's birthday.
ReplyDeleteWhy would anyone make judgements about you wanting to talk about your daughter? Just because she is no longer with you doesn't mean she wasn't loved. You need to mourn and remember in your way, if visiting the cemetary and talking about her on your blog helps then good for you. Do what make you whole.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss, Bonnie. I can imagine nothing worse than losing a child.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story of loss. You may never know how many people you have helped by opening yourself up. People who don't "get it" are clearly people who haven't walked that same road.
ReplyDelete