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Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Return to Sender!

I am HOWLING with laughter….

There is an inbox in Facebook where you get “email” messages from your friends, and if messages come that are “NOT” from the safety of your known and friended friends, they go into this folder called “Other.”

That's it right there -- the one with the 12 by it.

I always forget to CHECK Other ----and lots of times there are things in there I need to reply to about book questions, about teaching dates in various cities, and website/pattern stuff, etc – most of the time it’s all legit.

But I am dying laughing at this one…..Sometimes you just GOT to “Read it before you delete it”, you know?

Hi, How are you doing?I hope you are doing great?

I want to use this opportunity to inform you that I sincerely appreciate your looks!

I believe you don't mind us knowing each other.My Name is Steven,I am from Austin,Texas.Am a 9years widower,I live with my pet dogs Wamma and Sandy.

I am Man with sense of humor,I am passionate and romantic,I have the fear of God in me, I have respect for my fellow human being,Till when we get to understand each other more, you learn everything about me!

For me distance does not matter, Am ready to relocate and come for you. Age difference is not a problem, what matters most is the Heart of loving! It will be wonderful of you to send me a feedback if you want us to get along,I promise to make you happy!Thanks.

OH BOY!!

((I am imagining this said with a Russian accent, whether he is from Austin, or not! LOL!))

And he BETTER have the fear of GOD in him…..

My looks? I’m past 50, dude! And my profile says “MARRIED!”

But what’s even funnier --

I must have SUCH a ONE TRACK MIND ----

I read the second line and actually thought he was saying that he “sincerely appreciates my BOOKS!”

Guffaw.

I’m way too old for these kinds of shenanigans.

Especially since the last picture of “me” posted on my facebook page was of Sherry’s & my FEET from yesterday's pedicure! ((oh, now that's a scary thought!))

Thanks for the chuckle guy, wherever you are really from!

I need to warn you, I carry a rotary cutter and I’m not afraid to use it!

34 comments:

  1. I am laughing so hard!!! That is too funny.....but he did say age did not matter! LOL...keep that rotary cutter close!

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  2. talk about crazy!! there are definitly all kinds out in the world!! Maybe he loves feet!!

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  3. Haha I didn't realize that letter said"looks" not books until YOU pointed that out!!! Tooo funny!

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  4. Hilarious!!! I too "thought" it would be books ... then did a double take and realized "looks"! LOL

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  5. LOL....maybe he has a foot fetish.

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  6. Oh, send him to me!! lol. But he will probably not like my looks (not thin and blond, and haven't had a pedi recently, if he does have a foot fetish, lol) I've had worse messages through eharmony!lol

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  7. I love it when you share your crazy emails with us! BAHAHA. . I just went and checked mine. . and although mine weren't quite as hilarious (russian accent LOL) they were still quite funny. The crazy thing I always get (in my spam folder) is requests for love by WOMEN!! Uh, HELLO. . Iam a married FEMALE. . no, I do not need an escort service, no I don't want to meet "candy, the barely 18" yadayada. . geezopEAT for Heaven's sakes!

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  8. He's likely not an actual guy with a romantic interest. It's the first step in an email correspondence scam where he gets you to send him money. That email went to thousands of woman on Facebook (at least) and while very few will respond, a few actually will, and of those, some will part ways with their hard earned money.
    It's the same with the "you have won the lottery" and "we need personal shoppers in your area" and "I am a Nigerian prince". It's all about getting your information, your trust, and your money.

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  9. Anonymous11:28 PM EDT

    Oh thanks for sharing. :) Laughter is good for the soul.
    Ok I'll say it - do not respond!

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  10. You are always good for a laugh! By the way - I read "BOOKS" too :p

    I've been told a good sense of humor is need for any one over 50. But I wouldn't know-I'm not 50 till November LOL

    Thanks again, Deb

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  11. Anonymous12:01 AM EDT

    I so hope your back was numb from the ice packs, before you started laughing from the mans comments..Bless you Bonnie

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  12. when you get caught with a rotary cutter in your carry on, you can tell tsa that you are being stalked by a pedi phile! lol

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6:54 AM EDT

      Cute, miss jamee!!LOLOL
      Faye in Maine

      Delete
  13. Anonymous12:09 AM EDT

    GOOD GRIEF -- thanks for the chuckles! First I also thought he said BOOKS. But honestly Bonnie, you are rather a cutie. We know you to be vibrant, witty, smart, and the energy of a 10 year old after drinking a quart of CAFFIENE SODA!!!

    Besides, he just might think you are wealthy, what with being a famous author etc LOLOL. I think that rotary cutter with you at all times is the perfect defense. You can click and cut faster than anyone could grab you. What does The Hubster think? Bet he howled with laughter too.

    Now you be good!!! You hear me rofl.
    JUlieinTN

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  14. Oy! Funniest thing I've read in a long time. I keep getting junk email at work addressed to "Sweetheart" and "Dearest". I'm guessing its the same type of stuff . . . I love your response: I'd use my rotary cutter, but I think I'd forget to open the blade.

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  15. heehee He will be heart broken when he sees you are not available.

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  16. This is just the laugh I needed this morning! My favorite line is you saying, "You better have the fear of God in you". LOLOLOLOL!

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  17. HYSTERICAL!!!!

    sao in Midlothian, VA

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  18. Anonymous6:58 AM EDT

    Wait a minute...all I every get are the "won the lottery" spam. Oh, wait there are those ones that speak of sexy teenagers, but I figured they had to be going to the wrong address anyway as I am nearing 60!! LOLOL Too funny Bonnie, at least we can laugh at such drivel, though as stated above some people are just gullible enough to answer them.
    Loved the rotary cutter comment!
    Have a great Thursday!
    Faye in Maine.

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  19. Hi Bonnie,
    even a doll cutter will do in this case *g*!(Don't waste you good ones on it!)I laughed my butt off about this.
    Great!
    Have a good time
    xxx Doris

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  20. HAHA! A scam regarding money no doubt, but first the flattery! Thanks for the chuckle!

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  21. Oh how funny! The one I got about a year ago told me that I had a "beautiful" smile and he really wanted to know the person behind that smile. It must have been a slow FB day for him. My profile also states I'm married but I bet he never even checked it. Thanks for the morning chuckle and keep that rotery cutter handy!

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  22. LOL Bonnie! I've gotten a few of those too! Definitely a scam, but for women who are lonely or susceptible it is a big worry. Glad you have the rotary cutter nearby!
    hm

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  23. Messages like those brighten my day! Do you have more information on your Russian/Texan admirer? I am heading to Russia in July and just might bring you a souvenir.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous9:16 PM EDT

      Debby, what part of Russia? I have 4 kids from Ivanovo and they are the joy of my life! After almost 6 years, things have settled down to where I can sew and do some of "my things" again! Bev (kwiltpharm@aol.com)

      Delete
  24. That is too funny! Thanks for sharing.

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  25. Oh, Bonnie, dear Bonnie... you inspired me to check my messages. The first one reads:

    "Hello...You got a beautiful pics Huh... Can't take off my eyes!"

    I've attracted a guy who can't take off his eyes!!!!

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  26. I was chuckling to myself as I read your blog and then I hit the "I have a rotary cutter and know how to use it" phrase and couldn't help laughing out loud! Thanks for the laugh of the day!

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  27. The saddest thing is people do fall for this and start talking to these fools. Seriously, makes me realize how smart some of are and how not so bright others are!

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  28. Anonymous3:44 PM EDT

    omgosh! I was not expecting you receiving that kind of email LOL hilarious!
    Heather

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  29. Thanks for the hilarious post of the day. I loved it. ...and I, too, "heard" the Russian or other accent in it!

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  30. Bonnie - I just got one this morning - from a Fred M**** - Subject - Frog gigs - "Hello, I stumbled on your blog looking for hand forged frog gigs. Does your husband still make them?" I don't know what the he** he's talking about! What's a "frog gig"? And "NO" - my husband doesn't make them - never did. And how did he "stumble" on MY blog looking for them - what to they have to do with Left-Handed Quilting?? Sure hope Fred isn't for real - 'cuz I'm still laughing - ;))

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  31. Cindy, The Purple Quilter5:50 PM EDT

    LOL stomach hurting from laughing funny! I did not know about this part of fb, so I checked mine! I had two; one was a money scam and the other...someone looking for a wife! Guess the pic of me and my husband on my avatar didn't count! Thanks again for the laughter!

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  32. OMG! Bonnie! Wow! Here's your chance Bonnie! Go get your man!
    On second thought...you already have one and that's all you need!
    LOLOL!

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