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Friday, October 26, 2007

OOooohhhhh....RAIN!!

It started raining last night. It hasn't stopped! Isn't it wonderful?? Those of us in the south east know how desperately we need the rain! It isn't pouring hard, just a steady rain. I slept with the windows open. It is still relatively warm here in SC, and so much of the year we can't sleep with windows open because of heat and humidity. This felt great! I woke up to sound of cars driving down the rain washed streets....*lazy stretchies* just Nice.

I removed a couple of posts from my blog this morning. I feel like the angst has gone on long enough. I'm tired of the whole mess. Those of you who have been following me for a while know of which mess I speak. I want it over. NOW. I need to move on, this isn't the kind of quilter I want to be. This isn't the kind of woman I want to be. It seems to have brought out the worst in me, along with those who chose to send me anonymous derogatory comments about my reaction to the violation of my pattern copyright. (No way to reply to those...pretty cowardly to send anonymous no name/no return address comments) Of course they were only protecting their own friend. And maybe I would have done the same.....but I still would hope that I could look at the the situation with a discerning mind and be able to see truth for truth. Friend or not..when the facts are straight out in front of you.....what stands as true? Maybe that truth varies from person to person depending on what side they chose to be on and how loyalty influences how they see the facts. At any rate, I feel like I am at an impasse.

If I keep letting this eat at me, is it going to turn me into a better person? I don't think so. Expecting apologies from those who have lifted my designs is an unrealistic expectation. I know that. That's the only justice I want. I don't want to fight with lawyers, and I am sure they don't either, and who has the time/money/stamina to deal with that kind of fight anyway? In the long run.....what is that going to prove? Does anyone really WIN? And it isn't about winning.

Anonymous posters have called me hateful and selfish and unprofessional for posting things the way I did. I tried a phone call, but it went nowhere. No admittance to infringement...no offer to remove the patterns, tho the fact that another version was made to alter the pattern "sufficiently" pretty much proves that she realized she HAD to do something. The facts that my copyrights pre-dated hers meant nothing to her. The only answer I got was that everything was already at the distributors and couldn't be recalled.

Those who have supported me.....it means more to me than you will ever know. My life has really been thrown into a whammy in the past few months, a lot of which I haven't talked about, and you lift me up. Thank you.

Those who have condemned me.....you don't know me very well. I'm not out to make money on my designs at ALL.

I have to say that hurt, no matter what shape it comes in, or how it manifests itself, makes us all react differently. You rallied around YOUR friend, and that is understandable. But you attacked me because I wasn't close at hand to defend myself. I am not the ogre you made me out to be in your nasty posts.

I want my designs used for charities, for gifts, for teaching classes, for spreading the love of quilting the way it used to be. Quilting is about sharing. Quilting binds women's lives together. I haven't made a DIME ever with all the work I do in providing a website with patterns to encourage quilters in the love of quilting for the sake of quilting. All expenses incurred by providing this resource are my own. And to me it IS worth it. Because the good far outweighs the bad.

I apologize if I have been petty. I hope you will understand why. Imagine yourself in the same situation. How many of us would have been a "saint" considering the circumstances?

My last thought to Out on a Limb is this....if I were in your own quilt guild...lived local to you...would you still have done this? Would your friends still have rallied around you? I really don't think so.

20 comments:

Nancy said...

Well done, Bon.

martha said...

Dear Bonnie, I just wanted to let you know I am a huge fan and supporter and I am sorry you got hurt. You are a peicemaker and you do the art of quilting a wonderful service by sharing your love with all of us.I am glad you decided to move on and I hoep you can leave this all behind you. hugs

Deb Skinner Fischer said...

Dear Bonnie - I don't think you need to apologize for anything. In my opinion, blogs are meant for ranting (or venting!). I have been in love with your patterns since I discovered them. In fact, I am making a string quilt for one of my bosses for Christmas. Please continue with your work and those that "really count" will follow you. Don't listen to the naysayers - in your heart and in our hearts we know who is "right" in this matter. Carry on!
Deb

Ms. Jan said...

There are legions out here who totally appreciate all you do for us. As for the rest of them--who cares????? Hang in there, Bon.
xoxoxo

Cory said...

Bonnie, You have summed up the nature of quilting perfectly. It is truely about sharing and teaching and promoting the love of quilting. This is something you model here for all of us daily. Thank you for being a quilter and for sharing your talent with us. Cory

Suzan said...

Bonnie - Enjoy the rain and live in the moment. Try to put all the ugliness out of your mind. The most freeing thing anyone has ever told me was this: "It is what it is".

You provide a wonderful service to quilters. I thank you for it!

Suzan

Susie said...

Bonnie,
You are one classy lady!

Quilt Pixie said...

you're so right Bonnie. You need to be the person you want to be, and getting dragged into an argument, even if you're right, is to participate in the argument.... :-)

Karol-Ann said...

What can I add? The comments above sum up how SO VERY MANY people feel about you! You are kind and very generous. You share so much with people you have never met and you know what really matters. We're all sorry that you've had to endure such heartache. It's important to look after yourself and not let this upset damage your creativity and more importantly your well-being. Keep on quilting, we're all so pleased to have met you!

Carol said...

Very well said Bonnie...you epitomize the true spirit of quilting. Thank you for all you do.

Dawn said...

Bonnie, well said. Sending big warm hugs your way because the whole thing is just sad. I wish I could come cheer you up. On a good note Laura and I talked about starting a string star quilt today!

tami said...

Bonnie, I am so sorry this happened to you again. I know how it can eat at a person when you are taken advantage of. You feel helpless to protect what is yours and always hope that other people are essentially good and will do the right thing when it is pointed out. The unfortunate fact is that there are people who don't care about others. They have the attitude that they should do whatever they can get away with not caring who gets hurt in the process. They know that you are a good person and even though you are hurt by this and in the right you do not have the time or resources to take them to court to get what you deserve.
You have nothing to apoligize for and I hope you can take some solice in the fact that I, and probably any others who read your blog would NEVER buy a pattern or anything from this person. We know that you put patterns on your website to share and for the good of us all and greatly appreciate it.

seastartrue said...

I am so glad I found your blog and thank you, thank you for the patterns. I have several boxes of scraps I really need to either get rid of or use up.

Sorry some people can be so hurtful. Don't let it eat you up (hard to do).

Thank you again for the patterns.

seastartrue

dot said...

Bonnie, I am happy to hear you have decided to move on. I was troubled by reading your posts and feeling the anger. I can understand where you are coming from but maybe now it it time to leave it in Gods hands. He knows and He will handle it in His way. I really appreciate what you give us in the quilting community and I hope this incident does not change that. Keep you chin up and move forward.

Mary said...

I'm so glad it's raining there - I hope my son gets some in GA.

I don't know that there's anything I can say to make you feel better about this mess. I'd hoped that if it was an honest mistake, it would have been corrected but instead there was just a whole lot of ugliness.

I'm with the rest who thank you for the patterns and inspiration you freely share and glad that you're ready to try and put this all behind you.

carrie said...

Well done, Bonnie.

Debi said...

Bonnie:
I support you completely and the only thing we can do is NOT BUY HER PATTERNS, and get the word out of who she is and what she has done. For her it IS all about the money...no sales, no money. I will be talking to everyone I know on three quilt forums about this situation and hopefully, the word will get out.

QuiltMom said...

Bonnie
You have said it all- it is important to find a resolution that you can live with so it does not eat at you. I believe quilting is about sharing and supporting other quilters and you do that with class. You can only be responsible for your choices not others. It is sad that others would abuse your generosity. It is disappointing that someone would choose to make money on your hard work.
Your blog belongs to you and you have the right to express your feelings and thoughts any way that you want to. I enjoy reading it because you are willing to share your ideas and thoughts. Thats what makes it yours.
I loved your new string quilt pattern and appreciate the detailed instructions. One day soon I plan to make one myself.
I come to visit your site often to see what you are doing. May you find comfort from those of us who value your contributions as a quilter. Your kindness and generosity to all of us is much appreciated.
Regards from a Western Canadian Quilter,
Anna

Tracey in CT said...

Bonnie,

I'm sorry that this has become such a mess, but lets face it, you are in the right, and she is not. You know that, we know that, and so does she. And she has to live with that.

Please remember that in spite of a few bad apples that are out there, there are an awful lot of us that are very grateful for your generosity and ability to communicate your great ideas with us.

Lucy said...

Well done my dear! I hope everything will leave it by this. And I only can tell you keep going on with your quilts and tutorials I think you help more woman as you can imagine :-)