First off, I am Not a mall shopper....I refer to the mall as the MAUL because I just can't stand the parking and the crowds of people, and heck....two of my favorite things are NOT there....no fabric, and no thrift shops! But I still got a great chuckle out of this picture, notice that the female completely by-passes GAP which is what she went for in the first place!
I do think I am more like the male shopper than the female, and the shopping I did on saturday was rare for me...and included only fabric and thrift shops :c)
Things in Quiltville are rather hairy right now. Dear Son Jeff exchanged words with a teacher yesterday and was removed from campus for the day. Because he has a definate problem with keeping his mouth shut, I put his phone on restriction. I thought this was a good idea at first, I was patting myself on the back for the brilliant connection between communicaton (or keeping your mouth shut FROM communication when you shouldn't talk back) and the use of the cell phone priviledges.
Son is NOT happy. I didnt' expect him to be, but I thought that telling him that turning it back on was dependant upon cooperation, improvement in his attitude towards his parents and others in authority over him, and showing us that he is mature enough to have the priviledge of a cell phone. I mean, if it were me, I would have shaped up right away right?
Well this morning things are worse. One more crappy attitude from him and it will be off for 2 weeks instead of one!
And he is trying to have it backfire from here by telling me that I'll just have to wonder where he is because I can't reach him because it is MY FAULT that I turned off the cell phone. Phooooey. People lived without cell phones for centuries..do I really think this is a crisis he cant live with?
He has an appt with his counselor today at 5:30. I told him to be home by 5 so we can get there in time, and he said.....maybe, maybe not, and left. I am trying so hard not to let him push my buttons! We tell him all the time, not to let people push his buttons and flap his mouth.....that always gets him in trouble, and now it is my turn to follow my own advice and not let it get to me.
It's just so hard when you think what you do will make a kid WANT to try harder, but backfires and makes them try less instead. I wish I could run away to Lucy's TODAY!!
And I'm cleaning the house furiously because that is one thing that IS under my control!
Bonnie
I go on a cleaning craze when things start to build up too much with me. Like you said, it's the one thing that we can control...for a bit at least. ;o)
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that ds is being a turkey. Hang in there mom. ((((HUGS))))
Bonnie hang in there! We have one that wouldn't do any homework and turn in. We first took away the cell phone, then the computer, social life, tv, his life since October is doing everything with mom and dad (age 15). Seems to finally be working. We just received a grade report and he has nothing lower then a B. You just need to hang in there and let him know who is boss. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteOh, Bonnie...raising kids is definitely the hardest job in the world. Those porcupine kids are the toughtest to love but need our affection the most. But, boy, they make it hard. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.....
ReplyDeleteKairle
whew, been there, done that! big hugs and cleaning is a great way to let off that steam. Wish boys would heed that example set :-) I hope he gets the message but it's a real tough age! good luck and you know, he will eventually get it...really.
ReplyDeleteThere is no answer how kids should be raised. As long as you try the best you can, you can't do anything else. I guess one day your son will thank you for being firm
ReplyDeleteInga
There's nothing like scrubbing a tub or cleaning the oven to let off some steam! Now that the kids are all out of the house, I tend to want to cry when they upset me...guess it was "better" when they were here! Hope the lesson sticks with your ds.
ReplyDeleteHang on girl.. it is soon 23 april ! And I pamper you for a long week :c)
ReplyDeleteHi Bonnie,
ReplyDeletekeep your chin up, you did a really smart thing and I suspect he is suffering without the cell phone.
You can always run away to Texas if you need to before you head off to Lucys : )
Nothing good, is ever easy. Just remember that when raising children.
As hard as it was with my stepson...and I thought it would never work...it did. I'm sure it will for you too. (Remind me to tell you about my burning his nasty clothes in a bombfire one afternoon and his agreeing to wear new, clean unripped, pants that actually went up to his waist and covered the nasty dirty boxers...one look I never got used to!
ReplyDeleteSounds like cleaning is a good vent for some of us!
ReplyDeleteI can sympathize with you -- sons are not easy to raise. My husband believes that their brains turn to lemon jello when they turn 13 and they don't become human again until they are 26! Hope he understands that the counselor can help him through his problems. Thinking good thoughts for you today, Bonnie -- it is not always easy being the grownup!
The teenage years are the toughest and I kept telling myself, "this too shall pass". And it does, it just seems forever when you are going through it.
ReplyDeleteHang in there.... My friends try to remind me that I wanted to raise an independant human being, not a dependant thing -- but there are days I question why I ever thought that would be a good thing!
ReplyDeleteI don't really have anything to add - except ditto to what everyone has said regarding DS (great help I am LOL). The shopping diagram is very funny - had a good laugh over that one!
ReplyDeleteBonnie,
ReplyDeleteI have a bipolar kid, and my hubby could always tell when I had a really bad day, because I would be cleaning the ceilings, after cleaning everything else. Even though she is married and out of the house, I still have fits of cleaning, the ceilings just seem to have gotten farther away as I get older... It's tough, but you can do it, hang in there.
Me too on the "been there, done that" times 2 of my 3 boys. All you can do is the best you know how. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so well.
ReplyDeleteAs for the cleaning..my DH used to call it "heaven and earth, re-arranged", and it happened all too often, 2 of the 3 have turned out ok..one is still a question mark. April and Netherlands will come..sooner than you realize!
Hang in there. I went through a very terrible time with our daughter. She is now a lovely young lady.It is only our job to love and pray for them. Parenting isn't easy, aren't you glad God doesn't give us teenagers to begin with. We get a cute lovely baby to cuddle and love, then the challenging teenager arrives, they are just marking and making there own statement. Stick to your guns, love him up one side and down the other, and pray, pray, pray. Someday he will have a wife that thinks he is wonderful (which he is) but you will know the differnce and not share that with her. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteHmm, think we've figured out something here. No kids = no need to clean. No wonder I'm a slob. Sorry things are rough, Bonnie. I give you a hug in absentia.
ReplyDeleteI've gone through similar things with my son and at the end, when they finally see the light, it is a wondrous thing. Stay the course, you are right and deep in his heart he knows you are right. It's all part of passing into adulthood, for some the passage is more difficult than others. You will both survive and will have a better relationship for it!
ReplyDeleteOh, Bonnie! I've had it happen too when DS turns things totally around on me and then the whole situation is worse. You're doing good to not lose your cool and set a bad example. No advice from me . . but know I'm thinking of you and hoping things improve at your house.
ReplyDeleteJudy L.
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ReplyDeleteI know it is hard to do now, but try not to be too upset about your son. My daughter gave us (mostly me) fits through her teenage years. Along with all her stubborn determination for her dance came the same stubborn to always get her way. I have a friend who just kept telling me "you are doing a good job and she will be fine". I have to tell you that now she is a wonderful person and all of my worry and dire predictions for her future have come to not.
ReplyDeleteSo I will tell you what my friend told me: Don't worry, you are doing a good job. He will be fine.
Pushing buttons is what they do best, isn't it? So he actually gave the cell phone back and didn't cuss at you while he was doing it? Blessings! When we were going through that, we found a group, StandUp Parenting (www.standupp.org) and got some weekly support. It was just SOOooo overwhelming and nasty. You're on the right track, Mom. Hang in there!
ReplyDelete