Jeff, my 16 yr old is still cranky because he still doesn't have a job....I have offered and offered to take him looking, but all he wants to do is "hang out" and "chill" with his friends. Okay. Fine. Now his prom is 2 weeks away and I told him that without a job, I was NOT going to pay for his prom date. I told him if he HAD a job, and just hadn't been paid yet, I was willing to front him some money, but he had to have the job for me as security that he would be able to pay me back. I'm sticking to it.
He thinks we are the worst parents in the world...but we have done EVERYTHING...including taking him to places to pick up applications, and taking him back to deliver them. I ask him if he has checked up on any he has turned in, just to see if they have any openings yet, and he won't do it. He has to date turned in only 3 applications, about 3 weeks ago. I AM NOT going to pay for his prom!!!! But it is making life sorely miserable here because he feels like we are so unfair. (I don't get how he sees that...when we have done everything short of DRAGGING him to find a job!)
Blogger is being cranky this morning (Maybe it got it from jeff!) and won't let me upload pics! AUgh. So I'll try again later....
Bonnie
13 comments:
I knwo it is hard, but you need to stick to your guns... Paying for his date will not help him one IOTA! But still, you'd think with a date (Girlfriend) that he would be more motivated... maybe he is testing your resolve. Ya know, "Mom will give in and give me date money so I don't 'have' to work for it..."
My daughter wouldn't follow up on any of her applications either. I think it was fear of rejection. But there's also this attitude (not by her in particular, but teens in general) that most jobs are beneath them and they don't want a call back anyway! Stick to your guns, Mom!!
P.S. Isn't Mary Jo's just so awsome!! My best friend lives about an hour away from there and we make a special trip whenever I get to visit her; so much fun!
You are being a good mom Bonnie, just keep that in mind. Reality will indeed come into being. Love and Logic has some good advice
http://www.loveandlogic.com/Pages/0500press.html
My eldest daughter was exactly the same and even though she has moved out of home, she still expects us to take her places if she's missed the bus etc and never calls us - we always do the contacting and most times her phone is off anyway. We were the worst parents in the world too. I think in her eyes we still are, but we have certain standards and that's that. It's a very hard thing to watch them do this to themselves and the family - one of the not-so-nice things about being a parent. Hugs to you ((()))
I think "tough love" is tougher on the parent than the child. You're doing fine, Bonnie...maintain your resolve and if it's important to him, he'll have a job in time.
Now Bonnie - you can't be the most terrible parents in the world! Because I am!!!!!
It is a good thing Jeff and Adam don't live anywhere close to each other - it would be terrible for us!
I haven't been around lately either - still problems with that teenage son... ughhhh
Hang in there girl, even tho it seems like you are hanging from your thumbs! It's about the only thing that works..but unfortunaely, it's not a quick process.
Things seemed so hopeful just a short time back. Maybe alittle resentment about the attention his big brother got?? Never can tell. Don't buy in.
Yep...I completely agree with the others...stick to your guns, Bonnie!! You are being more then fair. I know it's tough, but they WILL thank us one day....really...they will....or so I'm told. ;o)
bummer. double bummer. Too bad you can't give yourself a massage, 'cause it sounds like you could use one. This, too, shall pass. Be strong.
Bonnie, I doubt it's any comfort to you but we're in the same boat here. No job, no $$, no fun . . and it's all mom's fault . . of course!
Want to run away? Can we take the longarms? :)
Judy L.
Sorry to hear about your challenges with Jeff, Bonnie.
Perhaps when he's *needing* some cash or whatever...he needs to be reminded that you'd *love* to help...except that money is tight for Mom right now..BUT...WHEN he gets that job...he'll GET to MANAGE his money ALL BY HIMSELF!!! Reality check! ('scuze the pun!)
Ahhhh hormones, lack of social skills, possibly a little shy - it's no wonder he hasn't followed through!! He'll get a job one day when he really needs money of his own. He's probably too embarrassed to call anyone. Been there, done that!
He'll get the picture eventually! Hang in there.
Just wanted to say thanks for your Basketweave Strings pattern -- another inspiration!
Jeanne :)
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