I've had a lot of discombobulated days lately. A lot of them.
It seems days of best laid plans (Which is how I generally roll) have become thrown to the wind and what gets done gets done, and what doesn't gets shoved off into the next day's to-do list mayhem.
And I find the big question of the day when things remain undone is "What does it matter?" "Does it matter?"
Honestly, I wonder what would happen if I just stopped everything. Everything.
If all the plates on all the poles stopped spinning and crashed to the ground, what would happen then?
And that's likely the most honest thing I've said in weeks if not months.
But some things did happen yesterday -
While recovering the pressing stations with new freezer paper for the arrival of the November Quiltvillians, I cut myself an extra length of the extra wide paper because my own ironing board next door in the QPO Studio was looking pretty grungy. Time for a fresh-up.
In the photo above I'm using the iron to reheat the old paper so I can peel it up.
It came off the old ironing board cover fairly easily - and though there are scorch marks on the cover, it's not nearly as bad as it would be if I didn't keep freezer paper on top.
My ironing board is extra wide, so this is 17'' wide paper. A standard ironing board could likely get by with the standard 15'' paper. This new piece is going on. Just like this. With all of that hanging over the edges. Just iron it in place until it is secure.
At this point I took my paper scissors - you know how when cutting wrapping paper if you hold the blades still you can kind of glide through the paper? Same thing here. I'm holding the scissors steady and just gliding them around the edge of the board to cut the paper to size.
More gliding around happening up here as I reach the "nose" of the board.
This was a quick feel good to give me a new clean ironing surface and more life to my ironing board cover.
Last week son Jeff brought Ashlyn's Janome Hello Kitty machine to me because it's circuit board was making things go weird. Like possessed weird.
The start/stop button no longer worked, the machine would run on its own -
So I called Lester at Ashe Sewing Center in West Jefferson, NC and made an appointment for 2pm yesterday to have it looked at.
We tried several things - but it was determined that the machine was just tired. The circuit board had started to go. The machine was a goner.
Ashlyn has been diving in to making clothing and costumes for the Renaissance festival and really needed a good basic machine that was a bit bigger than her Hello Kitty but wouldn't give her the issues that a computerized machine could.
She is getting her Christmas early. I bought this mechanical model that does everything she needs new in the box for a great price.
Jeff will take it home to her next week. He's coming to stay on Saturday until Hubster Dave arrives home on Tuesday. I leave Sunday for Vancouver Washington to stay with Jason.
I hope she likes it.
And the big draw was - it comes with a warranty and 4 cleaning/adjusting sessions over the next 2 years. That pays for the machine itself.
By the time I got back to the retreat it was 3:30 pm and folks started arriving - in the rain - right about that time.
No time for kitting up blocks as I had hoped!
But I did cull through the miscellaneous bin of strips to see which strips were long enough to cut blocks from - and I put all of the "too short" strips in another pile to determine what can be done with them.
Today I'll sort these strips into color families making them easier to pull from.
At some point I must have been working with blue because there are a LOT of blue strips in here - too many blue strips - so quite a few of those are likely to be rehomed into the blue strip bins.
There is not much pink, red or yellow so I may be pulling strips out of the sorted strip bins to round out the colors a bit. Some colors are just lacking and we need them for punch.
I did find this sweet thing - it's long enough - and it's going in.
In 1992 I was pregnant with my daughter. I've talked a bit about her before. She lived 2 1/2 weeks but we never got to bring her home. Jason came 1 1/2 years later. This was the fabric I made my first maternity top out of. I wore it through both pregnancies.
Jeff was born 6 years after Jason, and I don't know what happened to that maternity top by the time I was pregnant with him.
This is the LAST strip of this fabric I have, and it will be sewn into a quilt - saved in a quilt.
Isn't it crazy how fabric can be so recognizable and take you back to where you were when you first claimed it as your own? It's like an oldie but goodie playing on the car radio. It's instantly 1982.
I got one block kit cut yesterday. Just one.
But I'll get more today.
Honestly, I wonder what would happen if I just stopped everything. Everything.
If all the plates on all the poles stopped spinning and crashed to the ground, what would happen then?
What if I let it all go?
Quiltville Quote of the Day -
Mommy Said: A Quilter with Fabric is Happier than a Bird with a French Fry!
Besides, fabric is high in fiber, low in carbs and has no expiration date.
Besides, fabric is high in fiber, low in carbs and has no expiration date.
Have a terrific Thursday, everyone -
36 comments:
Remember Miss Bonnie- self care is not selfish. If a few or even all the plates hit the floor that’s ok. It sounds like you are hitting a wall which is fine as walls are there to lean against.
I read this recently. Someone asked Nora Roberts how she kept everything going, writing multiple books a year, etc. She said the trick is the balls you're juggling - which ones are plastic, and which ones are glass. You can drop the plastic balls and pick them up later. The glass ones, you have to keep juggling. Things like feeding yourself, your pets, etc. Drop those plastic balls....you've got a lot going on.
As I age, I find that I can't do as much as I used to. Please don't let it all go. Just do what brings you joy! It's okay if you slow down a little.
Some days, I think we all think about letting the plates and stuff fall where they may and walking away. Take a breath and have a beverage, spend some time thinking of the good you have in your life and rest. Your momma brain is still worrying and that's exhausting.
Speaking of your momma brain, how is the rehab coming out West? Still sending the positive thoughts to all of you and hugs for momma, who will worry until she gets out there and sees for herself that her boy is doing fine.
Oh Bonnie, please do what you need to do to feel content and if that means letting things go, we’ll understand. We will miss hearing from you but we will understand. Take care! Really. Christine Bradshaw
I love your positive attitude. There are times that it gets hard to be positive, but I know I generally feel better when I keep my positive attitude going. I went into my local quilt shop yesterday to pay for something I had ordered on her online show the night before. Nothing was going right for me, nothing has been going right for her, and we laughed about it together. And today’s a new day, I’m taking my great grandson for a coffee drink and then dropping him off at school and I’m going home brushing my teeth, and getting ready to head out with a smile on my face for a busy day.
I'm so glad you shared with us your feelings and am so heartened by all the above statements. You are and will be okay by heeding them. Diane Mannion
Hi Bonnie. I hear you, I feel you. I think everyone to some degree goes through the "I feel like throwing up my hands and saying I'm done with dealing with all this phase". I reached that point when I got a diagnosis that scared the crap out of me and literally stopped me in my tracks. You have always been so prolific and have so many things going on in your life, your home, your inn, your blog, your travels, and most importantly your family, and I know I must be leaving some stuff out. I know when I hit the point of "how much can I really still do", I thought about, well, what if I stop doing this, or stop doing that. How will that affect me emotionally and physically. Then I planned and compromised on what I really wanted to do and what I really needed to do and then figured a way to be OK with my limitations. I know this must be a difficult time for you. Last year, almost to the day, you almost lost the love of your life, this year you almost lost your son (I know there's still must be a degree of uncertainty on his road to recovery while waiting for lab results), and I was so sorry to read that you did lose your firstborn daughter. That itself is a tragedy that no mother or father should have to go through, and though we deal with it, the pain, though perhaps dulled, is something that just doesn't go away, ever. You don't have to drop all the plates spinning in the air but think about which of those plates are most important to you. Then figure a way to let go, or maybe carefully set aside the rest for a later time. My prayers are with you and your family.
Honestly understand about the spinning plates. This year brought major medical problems for my husband who was always healthy before. ER visits, long sleepless nights, hospitalizations, procedures (some worked, some didn't), tons of doctor appointments (only me to drive), all had to be handled along with "normal" life things. There have been days when I wanted to drop all those plates and curl up in a ball and hide. I started to feel guilty if I had to step away for something so "selfish" like going to get my hair cut or to get groceries - had to ask a friend to "babysit." I'm used to being able to take care of everything myself. I have not enjoyed this. I found I started doing "stupid" things by mistake, I'm so distracted. I don't know the cure for it. Trying to get through best I can, a new way of life now I guess. One I wouldn't have chosen at any time. Didn't mean to unload here, just let you know that there are many of us spinning our plates too, so we get it. And we give you grace if you can't keep everything spinning. Hang in there. Jason will get better. Things will get back to "normal" again. Even if that sewing machine won't!
Will this new block come out as a pattern, sometime soon . Thank you Patricia
I have the tan fabric you made your maternity top from, I recognized it right away! Take care of yourself and your family, we are praying for all of you.
I agree with the first comment. Make like Frozen and let it go…….whatever that means for you. My first thought when you spoke about your upcoming tour, is how in the world can she keep it up? I think you should let some or all the plates drop….sometimes you have to stop putting the pressure on yourself and hit the escape valve. Do not miss doing what your gut says you should.
just sending love. <3
Bonnie I’ve learned through my years that I can only do so much. I’ve learned some plates must go so I can have some peace of mind to carry on the glass plates that make my life whole for the day. I realize Bonnie does so much for everyone all the time and I hope all appreciate you. I do. It’s time for Bonnie to do for Bonnie. Love and hugs for all.
This has me thinking of Led Zepplin - Thank-You.. It starts "If the Sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you" because in the end, our Love is all that really remains. And everything else is just a step on the path.
Take a big breath and maybe just maybe, after the holidays and your son is healed you and your husband can take a vacation. Just the two of you. Sounds crazy I know but maybe it's time.
Bonnie, you give so much to everyone. Its okay if you let some things go. Take care of you and your family. Saying prayers and sending a virtual hug.
Chores can be delegated to others. Not all of the plates have to be spun by you.
Bonnie, We love you and we love all that you do to share your expertise and inspiration with all your fellow quilters. But please remember that we don't NEED you and you have no obligations to keep doing so much for our sakes. And because we do love you, we're the first ones who would tell you to please focus on the people who really do need you -- your family. And that includes you yourself. And if you do decide to "drop all the plates" for a while, we'll be waiting right here for your return. And if you decide you don't want to return at all, we'll wish you well and be grateful for all the joy you've given us.
I love reading this blog. Bonnie, take care of yourself and your loved ones, both the 2 and 4-legged ones. Everything else will be fine.
But as I got to the bottom of the blog and saw the background on the Quote of the Day, it looked like hexies to me. It’s giving me design ideas. Now where is my hexie graphic paper?
Some members of my small group were concerned about not getting the half rectangle ruler. We have learned that if you write an easier way to do a task, we need to try it. I imagine we will be sharing the ruler. . .BUT we also know that you give us options and if we can't wait, we will still be able to progress. It is all GOOD! The fact that so many places that stock the rulers are out and even your distributor is out says a ton! What a powerful influencer you are! I hope your longarm issue is sorted before you leave for Washington. I hope that rehab for your sweet boy goes much better than expected. I appreciate you and all you give to us your Bonnie followers!--TerryK@OnGoingProjects
Of course we would miss you if you quit everything, but that's our problem not yours. Identify the thing that brings you the most stress and the least joy, then stop doing it. Yes, there will be people who are sad about it, but you aren't required to live your life for internet strangers. Give it some time, and if that one thing you stopped doing still isn't enough then choose a new thing to eliminate. Keep going until you find a life you love. I've followed you for years and find your work inspiring, but you need a life that's healthy for you and your family. I left a lucrative corporate job for something that earns me about 25% of my former career, but my quality of life is so much better. If it's economically feasible for you to cut back then DO IT! <3 You only get one chance at life, and you deserve to have one you love.
Andrea in MO
Take care of yourself and your family. We all have plenty of project to work on until you feel up to it!
Sending love & hugs, Jenny
Dear Bonnie, I've followed you since the beginning. I totally understand and have often wondered how you do all that you do. There is so much wisdom in the previous comments. We all get it. Whatever you decide, most will understand.
Bonnie....Oh how I hear you!! I too am dealing with many family member's health issues including my husbands' newly diagnosed cancer ! So far all my plates are staying up but as the Holiday Season is right around the corner, and I'm one who plans holidays in advance, I too wondered if I can really keep all those plates up in the air. Last night, my daughters-in laws let me know they are cooking almost the whole Thanksgiving Meal.......which is something that never has happened before. I'm still a very capable confident senior citizen at 84 years young, and wise enough to take their offer and say... "YES"!!! All are saying to you, if you need to drop some or all of your plates, do it and we will do our best to help you hang in there because time has a way of making it better, dear heart!!!! Carolyn Thompson
I am so tired some days too. Everyday You get to choose your joy. Covering the Big Ironing board and making one kit could be enough. Take time to breathe, Safe travels to Vancouver. You are in our prayers. Ashlan is lucky to have you in her corner.
Bonnie we love you, and you can drop as many plates as you need to. We'll pick up any if the ones that matter to us. You don't have to do anything or please anyone. Bless you.
I can't really add anything new to the comments already posted, but please make it a priority to take some time off in 2026. You haven't really stopped in five years and it sounds like it's all catching up to you. The world will get by without you for a month or two -- I'm sure that there are family members, friends and neighbours who could manage the Inn for a few weeks. I do hope that Jason recovers well and that your other stressors are resolved quickly and painlessly.
I had that fabric in a rose color way! Memories!
You can't be all things to all people. Take are of yourself and those in your heart first; the rest of us will understand.
I'm glad you'll have a little time with both husband and son together before Dave flies back home to take care of things. It's no wonder you're overwhelmed, but as others have said, it's important to figure out your priorities and drop the rest, at least for now. You have a good support network with family and friends; let them take over the less important stuff for you. Praying for you and yours, Lynne
I will try that freezer paper thing on my ironing board.
hugs Bonnie, just hugs.....
Amen to that!!
Amen! Often the things we think are "necessary"... aren't. The world doesn't collapse if we don't get everything done or make everyone happy. (Their happiness is their responsibility!) It's OK to delegate or ask for help. Letting others help gives them the opportunity for the warm fuzzies we like and involves them in our world. (win-win)
Just remember that when you hit your head against the wall, use a pillow, it's easier on your head and the wall!!
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