There are times I wish I could just get a "Do Over."
You know - the "Damned if you do, Damned if you don't" scenario?
I don't have internet at the cabin. It's cell data only, and sometimes spotty at best.
And after spending all day at the QPO (Where internet is very slow, one step up from dial up basically - thank you CenturyFink!) I really don't spend much after-work time staring at my phone once I'm home.
I will fix dinner, play with the dog, do a load of laundry, watch some TV at night. And if the TV is on, I'm not going to miss what's on while staring at my phone. I’d rather have real in-person conversations.
I've always allowed myself a bit of time before turning out the lights in bed to flip through my news feed to see what is up with others, but yesterday - oh, yesterday.
I feel like I stepped in dog doo and didn't know it all day long until after dinner time.
Evidently through social media, musicians and artists started posting just plain black squares in solidarity of George Flyod and Black Lives Matter.
And then it went through the quilting community (and others too) all joining in, and if you didn't post a black square, well you are evidently a racist.
Yesterday I posted this quote of the day - the first thing I do every morning as I get my day going. My own way to deal with the turmoil in my immediate world.
So this is in my feed INSTEAD of the black out square. And now people are taking it as me posting it in defiance OF the black square.
And then I posted my blog - as I usually do. Also in the perceived defiance of "staying silent" on social media. Because - I don't spend all day in my feed reading other people's posts. I have things I need to do. You might say I go through my day head down with blinders on until my "to do" list is done.
Click to Play:
Yesterday I took Zoey on a hike up to Grayson Highlands state park. - I posted this video of a running creek with burbling little water fall. But I was supposed to be silent on social media.
Yet, I didn’t know it. Because – frankly my heart was focused on the fact that yesterday, June 2nd was my daughter Heather’s birthday. She has been gone 38 years. And yet this day is always a hard one for me, but I was determined to not let it take me under. I needed nature. So my mind on my daughter, and oblivious to black square - we hiked.
And we hiked.
I love these mountain streams.
We put in about 3 miles.
Later in the afternoon I posted a photo of what I'm doing for the back of Casden's quilt.
playing with some Wordplay Improv Letters.
To go in the back of Casden’s quilt.
I get home. Start dinner. Finally thumb through my feed -
I agree with solidarity, but what to do now? Oh, no! I quickly put up a black square. At 7pm.
I tagged it #blackouttuesday and #blacklivesmatter and within minutes I am told to remove the #blacklivesmatter tag as it is not to be used for this purpose. Evidently there are hash-tag police out there. (It’s an important tag, I get it – but this is me who never got the memo.)
So I threw my hands up in the air and deleted the whole black square post. I’d blown it all day long – unaware?
Was I supposed to also go back and delete all of the other things I had blatantly posted through the day? Could I leave them there?
I REALLY REALLY REALLY understand that last two things on the list. They are definitely things I can get behind and believe in. EVERY DAY in EVERY WAY.
I always believed that you can know people more by their actions than you can their words. And I vow to live my life fairly, showing respect for each person, their deserved inherent dignity as a human being.
But the above things remind me so much of that old gas crisis price gouging thing where we were told if NO ONE bought gas at all for just ONE DAY we could take the gas industry to its knees.
Did it work? No.
This black square thing also morphed into "Don't BUY ANYTHING, don't SELL ANYTHING" at all anywhere and headed off into other weird directions and tangents.
There needs to be a permanent life change. We all need to step up. To be better. To love harder. To look deeper.
And in the course of the day I lost 25 instagram readers. Because I DID or DIDN'T post the black square? Because I tagged #blacklivesmatter? Because I posted my quote of the day in the morning instead of a black square evidently offending people because I wasn't outwardly showing my support?
(Yes, I removed some shaming comments of “It’s so sad that you choose not to support us.” Judge much?)
"If you are not for us you must be against us?"
So this is my mindset today.
Yes - I understand the plight of racism. Yes, I was born into white privilege and I've done all I can to turn that for good. But it will never be enough. And I'm tired. But I will try again today.
And people want to know why I don't do Quilt-Cam anymore? I can’t. Because – I just can’t. My heart isn't in it right now.
I can’t be what people want or expect me to be. “The camera angle is wrong, I can’t hear you. The video is choppy. The cats and the traffic are distracting. It’s really annoying when you sew and the camera bounces. You talk too much, You are loud. I liked your hair better the other way. It’s not fair that you don’t host retreats for singles. What are you doing to help the handicapped? Why don't you ship internationally, what a shame. You need closed captions and a typed transcript.”
And yet I know this is NOTHING compared to what others have to face every day of their lives.
I hear you. I see you. I didn’t get the memo. I’m sorry.
But hopefully the way I live my life and treat people in this life shows a lot more about who I am than a black square in my social media feed does. Anyone can post a black square. It’s the actions that occur day in and day out without the black square that really matter.
Thanks for hearing me out.
Quiltville Quote of the Day
We need this more than ever.
302 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 302 of 302Bonnie - The loss of someone dear is always with us, however much time as passed. My sympathy for the loss of your daughter, Heather. I am not big on social media other than the exceptions of a few sewing & quilting blogs and some favorite pet related face book sites. I had no idea about the black square promotion until I read it on your blog this evening. I think that the negative reactions you received are examples of what is wrong in our society -- judging others without knowing the person or the whole situation! I appreciate you and the quilting knowledge that you share as well as the delightful nature scenes and videos, and my favorites - the kitties and Zoey. Please do not be discouraged! You are valued and appreciated!
At 5:45 p.m. I was asking someone *how* to do the black box and was advised - this from a west coast millennial- NOT to do it - though feeling in tune with the spirit of it. You were not the only person to not get notification. I was not the only person who did get notified *second or third hand* and couldn't do it - or found that the whole idea was interpreted differently. I know it's extremely hard to try to block rude criticism. Take more hike and put devices in time out.
Oh my word Bonnie. I am so sorry that people are being so dumb about this. The black box isn't important. Like you said, your character and ever day actions is what is important. Don't let these people get you down. Just continue on being you and doing what is important to you and what makes you happy, because you just can't make everyone happy. So sorry about your daughter, it must of been such a hard day for you without all this crap. As for the quilt cam, I love watching them, but if I had to put up with all the griping and complaining I wouldn't do it either. I had no idea there were so many whiners out there. So sorry Bonnie. Do what makes you happy and stop trying to make everyone else happy. Life is to short to put up with all that crap.
I'm just reading this blog on Wednesday late evening. I didn't know anything about any little black square regarding yesterday until I read it now on your blog. Golly, Bonnie, you're my news person!!! Keep up your good work, know that when you look in the mirror, you see a person who has tried the best she can today. And I know you will do the best you can tomorrow too. You are just that type of wonderful person.
Bonnie, you ran your day for you, and for your own reasons.
No one else has the right to go after you like people did.
I miss quiltcam, and hope you can bring yourself to do it again. Yes, people would like to see perfect studio shots; but that's not what and where you are. They either need to watch or not, and not beat you down with their need for perfection. I thought you did a good job.
Hang in there. I'm going back above to listen to the stream.
Please know all the kind words said today towards you I wholeheartedly agree Bonnie. Yesterday was your day and always will be for you to be close to your daughter Heather and I pray that the negativity you received won’t ever be a part of those cherished memories you hold close to your heart.
Amen!
I will always remember your daughter's birthday Bonnie because it is also my mother's birthday. Arthritis has taken away her ability to make quilts so I make your quilts to honor her.
All these wonderful comments should make you feel a lot better. I read many blogs yesterday, including yours and none had anything about a black square and not blogging. Keep up quilting and inspiring us.
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I myself did not know there was to be a black out square of FB yesterday. I only saw one at the end of the day. I like some others do not watch the news all day or look at social media. It is not a crime. Your walks with Zoey Jo are soothing to me. I wish I was in an area that had a peaceful background. Sometimes you just need to de-stress. Thanks for being you.
Thank you for all you do post. It's thursday in Australia & I didn't get the memo either until I read your post. People just need to be more gentle with what they do & say to everyone. There is just not right and wrong there is a whole world of in between. I do enjoy the web cams and I understand your not doing it with all the negativity. You have always said it's done so we can share your world. Please keep posting I enjoy seeing your slice of life. Simone
There really are too many self appointed "police!" I had a message on one of MY Pinterest boards that I had put a few things into the wrong categories. I was told what I should put into MY boards to properly reflect the topics as I had labelled them !!
https://youtu.be/Az48UpYa7kE
Here ya go...
Take the time (I know you're busy) and listen ...
((Hugs)) Sorry this day was made worse. This quilter loves you for who you are.
Bonnie, don't feel bad. I didn't get the memo either. First time I saw it was just now
So sorry that yet again small minded people have to have a go at you about something silly. I don’t live in social media all day and saw no black squares at all.
It is quite obvious by your words in other blogs how saddening you found this whole situation, you wrote about it so eloquently and I read it and was saddened too, that this happened in the first place and the riots which never fix anything have and are still happening.
Don’t let this get too you, you have a kind and giving heart and I love to read your blog.
I’m an international viewer and although sad I can no longer purchase from you I fully understand your reasons behind the decision which was made in our best interests. I have just found a book of your I don’t have in my collection and hope you receive something from my purchase.
Loved the pictures from your hike so beautiful, and beautiful ZoeyJo seemed to be having fun.
Keep being you we love all you do and learn so much, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Keep safe
Love and quilty hugs
Anne xxx
I absolutely endorse the comment above. Be who you are, we appreciate all you bring. And so pleased you had that lovely walk on such a difficult day.
I absolutely endorse the comment above. Be who you are, we appreciate all you bring. And so pleased you had that lovely walk on such a difficult day.
I am with you - the fact that you need to justify your actions is another reason why the situation is so wrong. You shouldn't feel that way. Here we have silly internet connections, virtually no cell phone connections and the landline is iffy too. Internet is probably the better of all of them. So when you live remotely, you are living life as best as normal you can get, it is nice to see the dogs (I include dear Sadie) and all the cats that you have and had, the babbling streams and waterfalls, the houses, the countryside and . . . the quilts. It is an escape and not a reminder of the horrible things that are going on around us. So thank you for the ray of sunshine in our lockdown lives.
AMEN to the above post. You see what time I do my facebook...it's 1:54 AM right now in Alabama. I didn't know anything about that black square and thought people had messed up when I saw them. I have too much to do to keep my nose plastered to the media all day. I loved your post yesterday. It was so calming to my hectic day. Thank you for posting it!
Bonnie - you are a truly wonderful person! And, in agreement with the poster before me, you did nothing wrong! I'm going to tell you a secret - don't breath any of it to anyone else, not even one person - I'm not even on social media (as in Facebook, Instagram, etc.). I wonder what all of those media judges would think of that. I don't even know how to set up one of those accounts or walls or whatever they are called. I did wear a black t-shirt (I am a 58-year San Francisco Giants fan!). Also, thanks to you, I actually started back on a quilt I'm making for a cat lover good friend in New Jersey who got married recently (actually 3 years ago today). I had all of the pieces cut out but then became stuck as I wanted the quilt to be perfect and I knew I would make mistakes. I've been reading your blog since earlier this year and cannot recall you ever emphasizing the need for perfection, just enjoying the quilting process from start to finish. The quilt colors are a black/gray swirly pattern (cat colors), a tan swirly pattern (more cat colors), and kind of a medium green swirly pattern (cat's eye green). Did I mention they are all cat colors!?! They are also the colors of her beloved Webster, her special needs cat who passed away a couple of years before the wedding. Thank you so much for helping me get off my perfectionist duff and get back to enjoying making such a special gift for my special friend. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Bonnie I feel your hurt through your words, and it is wrong that others, especially others from the quilting community, have made you feel this way. You give so much through your mystery quilts and blogs. Unity gave me and countless others purpose during the pandemic. The fall mystery gives us all something for ourselves during the often stressful holidays. For me personally, my husband underwent a transplant process during one of the mysteries, and going home at the end of a long day at the hospital to do some basically mindless sewing of hundreds of half square triangles was very much my anchor. I’ve learned to adopt the mantra of living a good life, being kind and respectful to others, and to let the views or perceived views of others about me to wash well above me. If I do something for others and they don’t appreciate it, I try not to let it bother me, although of course it often does. But then I don’t do it again unless it is something that I want to do, and therefore it is really for me instead of others. So if you don’t want to do the quilt cam, don’t. If you want to do it for you instead of us, then do it but only on the condition that you do it the way it makes you comfortable and make no excuses for it. You run a business and you cater to a niche clientele. Don’t apologize for not catering to others who may not be able to access your service. Dog groomers don’t apologize for not providing hair cuts for humans. Live your own life and if it adds to the quilting community, excellent. We love you and appreciate you. So sorry to hear about your daughter.
hugs!
I've never heard of the black square. Here. We go with a small group telling us what to say and not to say , what to do and not to do. Some people just need to get a life and move on. Thank you Bonnie for living your life.
I don't know where it started and missed the memo also. We need kindness and compassion and it looks like some folks were not giving you that. Some people are very quick to judge someone when not in their shoes.
Pussy888
Dearest Bonnie - each of us walk to a different beat - that's one of the things that makes the human race so great. The trouble is, if you don't walk to the same beat as someone else, they get upset, offended, etc. I had no idea what the black block was and what we were suppose to do or not do.
Bonnie, walk to the beat that makes you who you are. We love you and appreciate you so very much.
Many prayers for you as you walk through this time in your life.
I agree. I saw the black squares but also didn't know but like another person said, I'm old and I don't understand everything I'm seeing on social media. That doesn't make any of us bad just because we didn't observe it. Hugs Bonnie. That had to be a very hard day to begin with.
Read your blog daily and so enjoy how honestly you share your life and your feelings. You are very aware and sensitive to heart issues and I appreciate that. I think your words meant a great deal more than a black box would have, expecially when many of us didn't know what the black boxes respresented.
Amen. Bonnie you give so much of yourself every day. There will always be those who have other expectations. Live the life you see fit. that is all that matters. You are kind. You are generous. you are more than respectful. A black square will not change the world. We all need to do a bit better and try harder. Thinking of you and Heather. again, thank you for all that you do for so many.
You are correct, All Lives Should Matter. However, where we are right now in America, it seems that only people of European descent are given the "You Matter" card at birth. I was raised that the police were my friends, would never hurt me, could be relied on to return me home if I got lost, etc. It is abominable that black kids HAVE to be raised with lessons in not catching police attention and how to survive a police encounter. The meaning of Black Lives Matter isn't that other lives don't matter, but that black lives should matter in the same way.
Well, duh. I didn't know about black squares until I read your blog. I love your quilting stories as well as your puppy and kitty posts. If somebody wants to look for imagined slights and get her panties in a twist, so be it. Not your problem or mine. Love to you and yours and thanks for all the work you do keeping in touch.
We were created for love, by love. Love your neighbor as yourself. We all show that in different and unique ways. For some, that is the show of a black square. For others, like me and you, that is opening ourselves up by word and/or action to share that love. God Bless you for being you!
Wonderful article except I think you 'beat yourself up' too much for not being aware. How awful that people can't be kind. We have to live the life that is right for us and if that includes no social media all day, but rather positive actions, colorful pictures, wonderful nature walks as you remember and grieve, that is what you should do. No one knows the troubles, grief, etc. that another person is enduring. I, too, am a person who checks social media basically once a day (usually before anyone else wakes) so I didn't see the explanation of the black squares. I don't have good cell or internet service where I live. It's not important. Loving and caring for others and being thankful for all God provides is important. I love Casden't quilt! And babbling mountain brooks sing to my heart. Have a blessed day.
I hate those pass it on directives on Social Media it as if we are all a bunch of lemmings that have to jump over the cliff to be accepted I will not play those pass it on things ever - even when I agree with the reason. I disagree with this way of making statements.
coucou Bonnie! on ne peut pas plaire à tout le monde !! tu es TOI et je suis MOI, et elles sont Elles, avec des idées, des goûts, des couleurs, des préférences, des façons de vivre, des religions et des loisirs différents pour tous..... etc.....il suffit de respecter et d'être tolérant!!! tu ne critique personne, au contraire tu es dans le partage, nous aimons le quilting et nous partageons!! vive le quilting, le respect et la tolérance, et le monde ira beaucoup mieux!!!! Bonnie je t'aime et j'aime ton bloc!!!même si tu n'envoie rien en France, je comprends!!! bisous
Dany de France
I am so sorry Bonnie. Do no worry.
I did not follow instructions either. So weird.
I could go deeper into this with my minor in psychology, major in RN
and all of this is so ridiculous I am tired of it.
Damned if you do, and damned if you don't is the mantra of today
The USA is turning in to a cesspool of hate
Hi Bonnie - I totally get it. I'm not on my phone 24/7 either, in fact my family have learned to call the phone of whoever is with me, because chances are I don't even have mine with me.
Because of the jobs I've had (Many government and non-profit agencies) I'm not in a position to publically share my opinions most of the time. That doesn't mean I don't have them and it doesn't make me "for or against" anything. It simply means, whether you agree or not, my decision has been to work within the restrictions I've been placed under for my job.
To me this sometimes makes my life easier. Usually I can explain my non-playing along and people are ok - and it's pretty nice to be able to read different opinions, different ideas and laugh, disagree or agree without having to post it all over. I'm too old, I was raised you don't "air your laundry or your business" outside your home.
From me, that you for keeping the forum about quilting - it's a nice change to be able to visit and take a few moments to be "away and distracted" from the outside world. Just an old lady, stuck in her ways.
Bonnie, I only just now learned about the black box thing from your post!! I understand why a mini movement like black box on social media might happen, might need to happen, but to judge and condemn and assume that those who didn't do it are racist . . .?? You and the daily blogs are a great joy in my life. Please don't let the haters and criticizers get you down. I have chosen to live my life without FB, Instagram, etc. mostly because of the nightmare stories such as yours today. It just does not appear to be worth it to me. However, that said, I would miss your daily blog so very much. This is a place of acceptance, creativity, joy in everyday life, sharing, caring. . . Also, as to the nasty comments you get from viewers of Quilt Cam: really?? Why can't people just appreciate what a gift you give of your time and creative energy?
OK, enough!! You are wonderful, please don't change up anything just because of the negativity of others.
The whole "black squares" thing is news to me. So I didn't do anything about "Black Out Tues" and here it is Thurs. I guess my news feed isn't very "woke"--oh well, not the first thing that went over my head, won't be the last.
Doesn't mean I'm not sympathetic to the protesters. In the face of so much righteous anger and pain, I don't have anything to say. I have tried to live an unbiased life, I've tried to teach my son to accept all people for the content of their character, not the color of their skin.
It's a day to day thing, it's what we do today and tomorrow and all days going forward.
Bonnie, you're doing the best you can, as we all do. Don't beat yourself up because some people have a problem with some superficial thing on social media.
I was shocked and saddened and angered by what happened to you. To be bullied by people over a black box? What is next? Will flag quilts be banned from quilt shows? Will red, white and blue fabrics become symbols of "racism" and will we be bullied for buying them? This is where we're headed if these anarchists get their way. I am a so-called "privileged" white woman, a person lucky to be born with a good brain, but I worked 14 hours days for 30 years to create a career. Oh, and I adopted children of color. I wonder how many of the people who bullied and shamed you could say that. Those who know their history and have read of Germany in the 1930's should be afraid. And those who don't should educate themselves. The anarchists want to destroy this country. I am sorry about the loss of your daughter. I know the pain. It never goes away. Enjoy your puppy and your family and your beautiful home and don't let the haters tear you down.
Uh-oh, I missed the memo too - because I have a life and a ton of other things to do, like take care of my husband of 48 years who has Alzheimer’s. I just don’t have time for social media drama - I have enough of the real stuff. Hang in there, Bonnie, and don’t let the Russian bots get you down.
Bonnie, YOU DO YOU GURL! Thank you for your daily posts which I look forward to. BTW, I found out that today is another social media theme. It’s where you posts uplifting media to overwhelm the hashtags such as whitlivesmatter and whiteoutwednesday. I think it’s a great day to post pics of all our beautiful quilts😜
I also did not get the memo. I saw a couple of black squares early in the day and thought there must be something wrong with the post they were posting. Who knew! I have stopped watching regular TV and have only been watching Netflix and Prime because I am so tired of the hatred. What does destroying property, burning churches and breaking into stores have to do with anything? People who are going to a peaceful rally do not go with crowbars in their hands!
You live a caring, productive life. DO NOT the naysayers get you down.
Thank you Bonnie for your quote.I totally agree with you. I don't watch TV or listen to the news because everything is always so negative and it seems the angry negative people are always heard first. I am considered as part of the "black" population. I don't believe it's neccessary to linger on that point but to live my life as I was brought up to look at Everyone just as another one of God's children never worrying about their color or beliefs. My prayer was that the Pandemic would bring us closer together in a different way. But thanks to the "hate" people, we are being pulled apart. Let us pray that all those people who are looting and destroying, wake up and realize they have just ruined their own lives. Let us concentrate on healing our minds as well as our bodies and spread love not disease among us.
Exactly what I was thinking! I had no idea why people were posting black squares. Did it change what I believed, not at all. Bonnie gives so much of herself to the world. Criticism is uncalled for.
😢
Bonnie, I'm so sad that you had such negative messages on an already difficult day. I read your blog every morning and it brightens my day. Posting a black square shows nothing about what is in one's heart, but bashing someone who lives her life with an open heart just because she didn't post a black square certainly gives some indication of what is in the basher's heart. It is sad that people advocating compassion and social justice display such intolerance.
I never saw one black square posted. I guess the sites/posts I read are all racist.
Oh lordy. I didn't know about the black square either. I spent my day doing what is 'normal' now; but oblivious to that idea. I love your quotes, and I enjoy reading your posts. I even 'borrow' your quotes for my own work emails - I hope that is ok! (I don't claim them as mine.) We can't please everybody - and just know that we love you just the way you are! I wish there was a way to ignore mean posts. just like we can ignore people who aren't nice to us.
I agree with you. This is a social blog of like minded quilters, peaceful souls and creative minds. I don't believe it needs to spill to social media hype...there is enough of that out there and on the news. We are Christians that respect ALL people. If you loose a few people it is their loss NOT yours. I enjoy your daily life events and look forward to it eat day. It takes time out of your day to share these things. Quiltville Land is wonderful!
Oh Bonnie, it's so sad to read that you are so depressed. And its also sad whats currently happening in your country. How can readers of your blog and other social channels think that you havent any empathy and solidarity for other people, regardless of their origin and skin color? My friend Karin and I are so often read your blog and speak about, sometimes every day. We take part of your mysteries, have fun seeing you on the web cam, are so happy, that you have also the same preferences like dogs, cats, nature, Outlander, Poldark and of Course Downton Abbey... LoL. When you are on travel with your groups, its so funny to read your storys and adventures and yes ... sometimes we are dreaming that someday we will stand in front of the Quiltville Inn take selfies, maybe you between us. You bring so much happiness and creativity to our lives. Thank you for many many hours you sharing your adventures and skills with us. Stay as you are. There is no reason to doubt. Warm greetings from Germany
People are so fast to judge, and so slow to give love. Take the high road, believe in yourself, do the right thing. Thank you for sharing, sending you a virtual hug.
You bring more to my life than you know.
I know how you feel. I was behind the curve yesterday as well keeping up with someone telling me do this, don’t do that and you are going to be judged by what you do or don’t do. You have a lot of people who love you and follow you and we want you to continue doing your thing. I hope you will follow your heart and not the naysayers that spend their time pointing out everyone’s faults but their own. Judy Scott
I spend a lot of time on the internet and didn't know. I agree with the protesters and disagree with the rioters. I am sorry for any pain I might have caused but was brought up in the south. I love your walks, they help my own stress. Thank you for your blog. I never understood instagram and it's use. No loss for me.
I closed my FB account 3 days ago for similar reasons. Life has gone on just fine.
Bonnie, my heart is with you knowing you will never cease to miss Heather. I'm glad you spent your day as you did. The 'black square' 'blackout Tuesday' is a contrived message; it's words. Based on actions, you are doing all you can and more. And actions are what count. I wish for you much peace in your heart. Please do not allow these detractors to take that away from you; bless those who've left your circle; they weren't friends. I count you as one of the blessings in my life.
Please tell your nephews thank you for their service. The next hurtful war will be fought on social media. Judy
These are beautiful words, if you wrote it, you did a wonderful job, it is copied you did a great job finding it, and if it just fell in your lap this day, thank you for noticing.
Bonnie, it will take me days to read all these posts, but I will. What I've seen so far, far exceeds the misspoken, tear it down attitude that hurt you. So sorry that you lost your daughter, but you are a good mother, you haven't forgotten her, you raised kind & caring sons, and now you have a grandson to love. God is good. Just be yourself, 99.9% of us love you just as you are, and those that don't are the ones missing out. Because I get your blog a day later, I rarely post because I think you never see it anyway, but please know you are loved, respected and cared for just as you are, just as you want to be, just be you. I am happy for all that you do.
Praying for your husband and all who are protecting us in this very trying time. His colleague's life and others are also important.
Anyone who follows you knows your heart. Some people seemed to take pride in being critical and superior. Your friends will always be here.
Would you believe your post is the first I hear about the "black square".
Didn't know about it until your blog.
You're not alone! *big grin*
I just now found out about this new black square drama, so my internet (or maybe it's just me) must be even slower than yours. I usually don't comment, but just wanted to thank you for sharing your quilting talents with anyone who wants to read. This is your blog, thank you for not being bullied into doing what others think you should. If we all lived our lives believing and acting like All lives mattered, what a wonderful place this world would be.
amen!
I have only been following your blog since th3 virus caused lock-down. (I regret that I didn't find your blog sooner! Have I been living under a rock. Oh, well!) But in just a few months I know where you stand in matters of injustice so please don't beat yourself up! We can't control what others think of us, say about us, etc. But know that the people in your life that matter know you, know what you stand for even if you didn't post a back circle/square. I, too, can't let social media run my whole life. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others-your deserve it! Your blog makes my day each and every day.
Bonnie, you are an amazing woman. I am truly blessed to have found your daily inspiration. I didn't know about the black box either, not until you said something on this blog, and I am a couple of days late I see. People can be so rude, and it's those people who have too much time on their hands and nothing better to do, than to place judgement on others. They need to find something better to do with their lives and keep to their own business. Just be you Bonnie!
I often turn to the quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: "Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."
You will never please everyone. It will drive you crazy if you try. You're a good person and that's what matters!
Your blogs cheer up my day - enjoy them all.
I agree with Bonnie. Do what you have done as you do a great at it. I don't always post things here but I have to today. I missed the memo as well since I have been cleaning my sewing room. I can see the floor behind my cutting table. All of the fabric is put away that I am not currently using. It's the best it has looked in years. I would rather work in the coolness of my basement and leave the rest of it upstairs. However, we have had one riot in the area at a Best Buy so the rest of them have boarded up and closed temporarily. I would rather stay in and clean my room and sew. It will be nice when I get the rest of things more organized and I should be done by the weekend. Then it starts all over again. :) God gives peace through the storm and He says to expect it so my attitude is just to go on and trust Him for His best in my life.
Amen, Linda! And yes...you were very articulate. It's damned if you do and damned if you don't...and no matter what one says someone will take it the wrong way. I've stopped commenting on most things. Bonnie has shown how big her heart is over the many years she has been sharing with the world. This craziness has to end.
Bonnie, you and Maya Angelou... what a team!
Carry on. Do what you do so well- in my estimation.
My prayers for your husband and all those across the country just trying to do their jobs and keep us safe.
Bonnie - you rock! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I'm with you Bonnie. I didn't know anything about this black out thing either until I read THIS post of yours. Guess I'm out of the loop too. Guess all of my friends are out of the loop as well - none of them said anything about it either. Ignorance is bliss?
Please don’t let small minded people get to you. As far as the black screen thing that is a silly reason to think someone does not support civil rights. For all the reasons you stated as well as others.
I enjoy quilt cam but can understand the reasons you feel you are not ready to do them. Silly people with silly complaints, I say ignore and just be happy knowing most of your followers are loving it.
Dear Bonnie, This is YOUR blog. YOUR life. Yes -- quilting and what is going on in the world is part of it. Quilting is a huge part of it (which I am extremely grateful) but it is only part it -- you always talk about what is also going on in your life because this blog is also about you. You are not a professional blogger or a professional videographer (is that a word) -- yes sometimes the video isn't good -- yes sometime the sound isn't good -- although I don't agree that you talk too much -- I very much having someone in my sewing room talking to me and giving me hints. The sound and video have changed and are better -- you always try to make things better. Closed captioning? You are not a professional - you share you and your love of quilting and life. I hope someday to visit your quiltville inn with some group - someday. I love what you are able to share - I miss quilt cam very much. I hope someday you will be able to come back to it.
And if anyone doesn't know that you post your blog very first thing in the morning they don't read it often enough. I love all you quotes that you have put up everyday - and often shared them these past few months with the people I work with - they help. Keep doing what you do and keep being you. You have taught me so much and I improve my quilting. Thank you.
Bonnie: Oh my gosh, I just found out about the black box when i read this in my email. I don't spend a lot of time on the computer, I use facebook mostly to keep up with pics of my grandkids from far away, and I'm tired of social media being used as a platform to spew garbage into the air about what people hate. Bonnie you are a beacon of light to the quilting world. I love your enthusiasm and ideas, and quotes, which are always encouraging.
As one mother who's lost her daughter too back in 1986, I feel what you were feeling on her anniversary. Blessings to you and your family as they remember her in your heart. You just don't forget! Even when people tell you you should be over it, and you should forget her! Dont' ever forget!
I love what you do, and love what you say. I don't do your quilt cam's because I am almost deaf and without closed caption I don't catch anything, but that's ok. You're there encouraging others and that's what's important. I love your blog, i love your books.
I have no clue what a black box was supposed to accomplish. I obviously didn't post one, and continued on my day as usual. A black box, or no black box does not make a difference for George Floyd, or anyone else.
Keep being the wonderful encourager you are! We all love you
Right on the money.
Bonnie, You are a great lady! I am so sorry people send negative things to you and about you. I enjoy reading everything you post and the beautiful quilts you make and share with us. So sorry about your loss of your daughter. Prayers and hugs, Julie
Oh Bonnie. I so understand your need of solitude and nature on this day. We lost our daughter almost 28 years ago. It’s a hard day for me every year. I need solitude, quiet, love. I need to remember her on this day. I’m sorry that this has happened to you. Actions do speak louder than words or black boxes. I didn’t know about the black box thing either.
I don't do any form of social media mainly because of the bunkum you have just felt. My answer to all those who insist on me facebooking 24/7 is "Get a life". I have a life of my own and live it. Yours is the only blog I regularly read and it is because you have common sense. Keep it up. People who have dogs to keep them centred are the salt of the earth. Love Zoey. She would get on so well with my german shepherd, Bea. I feel for your loss for yesterday but your way of dealing with it is so right. Love you all at Quiltville.
Jeezus freaking freak. I am not even going to try to keep up with whatever the rules of the day are. If you asked anyone in my FB circle what I was it would most assuredly include adjectives such as 'radical, liberal, vegan, feminist, atheist, empath, etc.' in their descriptions. I did not post a black square. Not going to do so now either because this is not going to get spit done. Just move on from the influencers trying to dictate policy, Bonnie. They do not matter.
So sorry for your distress, Bonnie. Real life is not social media, although many seem to think it is. Do not apologize for being unaware of a social media "happening". I had read about the black square in the morning but never gave it a moment's thought. No, I am not unfeeling or opposed to the activism after George Floyd's death. Not at all. Posting a black square has nothing to do with that. God bless you and comfort you on the loss of your precious daughter. Love.
Bonnie - YOU WERE NOT AT FAULT!! Those who are righteous, unforgiving and quick to judge are the real problem in this world, especially when they have a hair trigger on the keyboard commentary critiques. Instead of feeling bad when you see what they wrote, try to say to yourself, "They don't know. They don't understand. They didn't take time to find out the whole story."
You are amazing! You are fine. You do you, and let those who are a little too quick to judge and jump to assumptions, just be gone. And...know that there are others that also grieve & totally get you. My son. I think of him especially hard at that certain time of the year, too.
It always interests me that people post things on the day the event is supposed to happen and assume everyone is hanging on every word in social media. I can't tell you how often this has happened to me because I don't check social media until late evening. It is what it is and just move on.
I enjoy seeing your posts - and I miss seeing them on Twitter --. People are going to criticize because their lives are messed up in some way and it makes them feel important to say negative things. And not following the rules of the black box is silly -- we can't be dictated to by someone who makes up something. You have to be who you are. I always wonder how you have time to do the great things that you do. Keep on giving your followers wonderful quilting ideas. We love you, Bonnie.
Well said. How we treat people every day says much more about who we are as a person than whether we do this or that or join a movement. I stay off social media except for following quilting blogs precisely because of what has happened to you. I can do that as I don't have a business I need to run like you have. People need to stop assuming to know why a person does or doesn't do something. If you need to know then politely ask them but don't presume to know.
I would tell you the same thing I would tell my daughter's, nobody's opinion of you should matter more to you than your own opinion of yourself. The end.
Bonnie...we LOVE you! Please don't change or feel guilty! Of course I miss seeing you on Quiltcam, but do what what works for YOU!!!
I didn't get the memo either. All we can do is keep on keepin' on by our day to day actions. What happened was a horrible crime and things do need to change-again actions speak louder than words or blacked out screens. You celebrated your daughter. That's all you needed to do.
I look forward to each morning checking in with your Quiltville post and enjoying your videos, pictures and walks with Zoey, who is a delight. The kitties are great too. It fits right in with my life here in Oregon. I have 2 dogs and 4 cats here at home and 4 cats at our other place. You inspire me and make my day. I love your quotes and keep my favorites in a file. It is hard to know what is going on in this crazy world but it helps to take it one day at a time and know we are in this together and there are a lot of us thinking like you. Continue being the great person you are.
Brilliant indeed. Posting a black square is about as effective as pasting a pink ribbon on your car to fight breast cancer. It's a nice gesture, but in reality, all these things do is make the person doing them "feel" like they actually did something meaningful. It's nice and all but the minute you criticize anyone who doesn't do it, that gesture becomes virtue signaling.
Bonnie, You are such a HUGE blessing to the lives of the people who read your blog. Your common sense approach to life (and also compassionate) is the way most people should aspire to be! How could you let a measly 25 instagramers bother you when you have thousands of others who love you just the way you are? It is their loss. Count your blessings (you have SO MANY!!) and move on.
There are so many wonderful things to be found in your blog, but if I am in a hurry, I sometimes scroll down to the end to read your inspiring quote for the day. I love that and the fact it's always pasted over a quilt.
Please don't change a thing and don't let the judgmentalists get you down. You are a force for good and I can't understand it when people can't just extend a little grace. You are LOVED! By many!
I just wanted to send you a big hug! You are a wonderful person who doesn't deserve the bad comments on social media! Especially on your daughter's birthday. I am so sorry.
Totally agree
Oh Bonnie.
Thank you for sharing so honestly.
Well, it just goes to show you there are others out there. I am a month behind reading your blog.(Took me forever to figure out why your pictures weren't showing up in May.). Anyway, this is the first I've read about the black square. Didn't see it at all on the day it happened....
Bonnie, you are the best, you do so much and love life so much, every day i get on my computer and look at the blogspot I look only for your inputs. Your critters I share with my husband. If you dont post a critter, i am sad because i am very attached to how cute they are and how large your heart is to have them. I too have lost a child 28 yrs ago and each year the birthday and death day are mountains to climb. We understand. God love you all.
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