tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post5249533841749818062..comments2024-03-28T16:13:34.971-04:00Comments on Quiltville's Quips & Snips!!: Easter Thoughts---Bonnie K. Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16377635115790685301noreply@blogger.comBlogger90125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-38984335760673192752021-05-26T17:01:56.815-04:002021-05-26T17:01:56.815-04:00After being in relationship with Wilson for seven ...After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don’t believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Zuma zuk and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or WhatsApp him +15068001647<br />you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMSJessica L. Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13408448099656902268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-2526022295612666882012-08-03T15:23:47.589-04:002012-08-03T15:23:47.589-04:00I know you posted this 15 mo. ago but I just now r...I know you posted this 15 mo. ago but I just now read it, Bonnie.<br />I am so interested to know how things are going for you all now. We had 3 sons--now ages 42,43 and 47. The oldest one was the very hardest to raise! He dropped out of HS during his senior year (17 yrs. old) and we started talking the Air Force up to him and he thought that would be "FUN" so we signed him in because he was so young they would not enlist him without our permission. He got his GED then.<br /> He then got into trouble with the law and we went with him to court and my DH told the judge that he was going into the military but that this would keep him from going in and the judge let him go. Long story short--all 3 of ours were in the Air force and I can never advise it enough but, of course, yours probably needs to be evaluated for clinical depression first--and treated. I would highly suggest you start with an MD so that he/she can prescribe medication, if warrented. Prayers for you all!!<br />nankc@comcast.netNancynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-30463739914476534512011-04-27T16:40:20.879-04:002011-04-27T16:40:20.879-04:00Oh Bonnie, I don't think I can add much more -...Oh Bonnie, I don't think I can add much more - but I do send you hugs & love!!!Rayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05431754306026373595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-13261348341577192212011-04-26T22:50:12.498-04:002011-04-26T22:50:12.498-04:00I know that you've had a zillion other comment...I know that you've had a zillion other comments and piles of advice, so I'm not even sure I should add on, but your post really touched me so here it is anyway. I don't have a grown son yet, mine is young yet. But I have close friends in the same boat as you are with grown or nearly-grown children who just aren't engaged with life. They've all taken different tacks (some 'tough' some relaxed), and it remains to be seen how it will all turn out. But I think that if you can listen to your heart (and maybe tell your brain to stop thinking for a few minutes so you can hear better, ha ha, that's what I do), you will know what you need to do and how to do it. You are still his momma and your heart still knows what's best.<br /><br />Many thoughts for you!!! I hope you'll keep us all updated.<br /><br />Best,<br /><br />~Angela~Angela @ Cottage Magpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08434781404304589991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-27508841705153026312011-04-26T18:51:30.433-04:002011-04-26T18:51:30.433-04:00Army, Navy, Marines, Airforce, CoastGuard.. All a...Army, Navy, Marines, Airforce, CoastGuard.. All are motivating, plus have room and board, medical, plus college benifts. Drop some flyers around the house. !!karylsquiltshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03633878487477498790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-30476288188187553522011-04-26T15:24:03.677-04:002011-04-26T15:24:03.677-04:00All I can say are the eternal words of wisdom &quo...All I can say are the eternal words of wisdom "this too shall pass". It will. Even though I know from experience that it doesn't feel like it, and will take much longer than you want.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-17128579680536388082011-04-26T13:49:42.390-04:002011-04-26T13:49:42.390-04:00Hi Bonnie,
I just want to encourage you to stand s...Hi Bonnie,<br />I just want to encourage you to stand strong in your marriage. Don't let this child become a wall between you and your husband. Your husband and marriage are most important and a strong marriage will do the best at guiding (or pushing) this child.<br /><br />Praying for your family,<br />PamPamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04189355877421698359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-5689956460260664852011-04-26T12:47:25.943-04:002011-04-26T12:47:25.943-04:00Offer him all the amenities of a homeless shelter....Offer him all the amenities of a homeless shelter. No TV or video games in his room. No hours on the electronic entertainment when he is not contributing to the electric bill. He is no longer a child, but an adult and he needs to learn that he has to take responsibility to provide for himself. He definitely should be contributing to the household in some way. If he is not working he should be looking for work and helping out with household chores. If he gets a minimum wage job and can't make it out on his own he should continue contributing to the household. Discuss together with him and DH whether he contributes monetarily or just with household responsibilities, dependent upon if he is saving his money for a launching nestegg.Michelle L. Momof11https://www.blogger.com/profile/00422436653415035099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-53825610648876076192011-04-26T08:48:10.992-04:002011-04-26T08:48:10.992-04:00Bonnie, this is just my observation as to why your...Bonnie, this is just my observation as to why your hubby might feel the way he does. You are gone a lot. If the kid wasn't there, Dave would be alone and maybe he doesn't like how that sounds. He and his son are probably good buddies and he enjoys having him around. I'm totally NOT suggesting you not travel and do your job, but I know my husband would love to have our son back in the nest. My kid is in college, married and living 25 miles away. We talk to him almost every day, and so far, all is well on our front, but if I wasn't home, I think my husband would flounder and be miserable. Take those blasted video games away. They are stealing his brain. Been there, done that. My son is acing college and had bad grades in high school. All he wanted to do was play those games. The male brain isn't finished until they are at least 25. There's time and there's hope. Blessings to you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16530415077187323894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-60836204422907585182011-04-26T01:36:01.102-04:002011-04-26T01:36:01.102-04:00Many good suggestions here...our friend was in the...Many good suggestions here...our friend was in the same situation and family counseling helped sort things out in a neutral, non-threatening way. Their son ended up going to counseling on his own after that and is making progress. There is hope and help available for your family too. Just reach out to a professional counselor. I'll pray for you all......Charmainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06686507995508574514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-5912355143402290702011-04-25T21:24:17.168-04:002011-04-25T21:24:17.168-04:00Bonnie it's with a heavy heart I tell you this...Bonnie it's with a heavy heart I tell you this. My baby brother that was just 31 committed suicide in January. He and I was 20 years apart, he was like my own child. We all thought he was bi-polar, manic depressive, something. He wouldn't go to a doctor for help. He has always struggled and I guess it just got too much for him. I don't know what all is going on with your son but if you even think he needs to see a doctor run don't walk to get him help. I wish I would have done things so differently for my brother.Lizziebethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14558087344191941981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-44071517566542233952011-04-25T19:58:36.549-04:002011-04-25T19:58:36.549-04:00Bonnie, Have you considered that your son may be ...Bonnie, Have you considered that your son may be clinically depressed? Just the way you describe him made me think that this may be a possibility. Perhaps this is an avenue to explore with him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-78740496119858770892011-04-25T17:18:22.601-04:002011-04-25T17:18:22.601-04:00Seems like you've gotten alot of comments, but...Seems like you've gotten alot of comments, but here's my two-cents worth:<br />Have you ever sat down with him and established a list of goals? Where would he like to be in 5 or 7 or 10 years? I know you've tried to help him with an electricial license, but maybe there's something he's interested in that he hasn't figured out yet.<br />Is there a counseling service at the local college/vo-tech/jr. college that could help? Maybe a test to see what his interests are?<br /><br />I told mine once that I was going to turn the electricity off to the house while I was gone during the day. Told him that since I wasn't there, nobody else could use it either. Made him think!Saskahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14316697509986535586noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-69246374917051214302011-04-25T16:13:12.687-04:002011-04-25T16:13:12.687-04:00I can see that it's a victious cycle... he doe...I can see that it's a victious cycle... he doesn't have his GED so he can't get a job... he feels like he's not good enough to get a job cause he doesn't have a GED... my only thought is, is he depressed? I will also keep him, and your family in my prayers... take care. <br />Hugs...Jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11744073613012413496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-83750683988703682282011-04-25T13:34:06.747-04:002011-04-25T13:34:06.747-04:00Bonnie - I have a 16 yr old daughter, who basicall...Bonnie - I have a 16 yr old daughter, who basically has no friends, is very anti-social and, well, this post has me woundering if this is what I am heading for......<br />Huge hugs. And yeah, it's not easy when the other parent does not seem to see it the same way - I have that too. <br />Thanks for sharing. Appricate this.Brendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13655217461685123025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-40230460235363340742011-04-25T11:44:26.978-04:002011-04-25T11:44:26.978-04:00My 21yr old son is in college, but, other than tha...My 21yr old son is in college, but, other than that, he resembles your son a lot. I threatened him earlier this semester that he WILL find a job this summer. PERIOD! Somehow, it seems to have worked (so far). He tried to find a job at school so he could stay there and take classes, but, no job. I pick him up this week, and, he is trying to find something here for the summer. I told him he wouldn't get access to his Xbox if he didn't get a job. We haven't let him take it to school, either. Hopefully BOTH our son's will get a job, soon. It will really make a difference in their self esteem, if they work. Good luck.Cheryl's Teapots2Quiltinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01005480747596617459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-29665056296082458242011-04-25T11:11:16.025-04:002011-04-25T11:11:16.025-04:00Hi Bonnie, my heart goes out to you as a mom who l...Hi Bonnie, my heart goes out to you as a mom who loves her son! Many years ago my brother in North Carolina felt he had to use tough love to get his son's attention and get him motivated. I realize today's world and economy are different from 20 years ago but my nephew wasn't motivated at all, didn't want to go to school after high school, wasn't looking for a job. My brother said he'd come home and find him lying on his bed with those "big mac" earphones on, listening to music so loud he'd have to tap him on the head to get his attention. He finally told him "you have 2 weeks to find yourself someplace else to stay... you can have a job by that time if you want to." When he told us that, I thought "oh Lord, how cold-hearted can you get!" <br /><br />Long story short, my nephew somehow found a job as a driver with the Pepsi Cola company and found a trailer to stay in. Fast forward about 9 months, he became a dispatcher... fast forward 4 more years or so, he became a manager, then a regional manager at Pepsi. Today he still works for Pepci Cola; he's married with a nice home on a 5-acre farm, with several horses, an SUV and two trucks.<br /><br />Just goes to show you... don't give up!<br /><br />LindaEat Sleep Quilthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16128823480396332414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-86385636055300987032011-04-25T10:45:29.373-04:002011-04-25T10:45:29.373-04:00I used to tell my son, I wish that you would tell...I used to tell my son, I wish that you would tell me why you are making these choices, what is bothering you. I may not like your answer, but I'll be able to understand it and you much better than your present silence. Also that I could not deal with what ever was bothering him, that was his to figure out, but he could not be disrespectful to me or others.<br />Our situation was similar, but I spent the last 3 weeks of HS making sure he did what he had to to finish. He was not allowed to quit and still live in my home, and was not allowed to leave until he graduated. He tried very hard to not graduate. Then it took another 9 months to get a job. He didn't have a game console or tv in his room, but was more than willing to live in books all day. He would go out with friends, but didn't have a car, license, or money. I didn't give him money for chores, but occasionally paid him for other work such as digging ditches etc. required for building a garage. He was never allowed to be rude to me. I yelled back and refused to take it.<br />He is a good person and is trying to make his way. He left 15 months after he graduated, 6 months after he got a job. That situation didn't work out, but he refused to move home because we live a little off the beaten path. He has friends that have helped him along the way, but they have also been his enablers. He is working a fastfood job in a small college town, trying to save. He has issues with depression, as do I. He has visual perceptual issues which make some things difficult and he is elligible for special help in his college classes but will not ask. He will not ask us for help financially. He struggles constantly. When he gets a good job something always happens, sometimes out of his control, that causes him to loose it.<br />My sons biggest problem is his most endearing quality, He has a heart of pure silver, he is very sympathetic to others problems, and has to live in a world where self is most important to most people, a rude and cruel place. He is too tender for the type of country we have become.<br />I'll pray for your family, but have no advice except expect respect. Maybe by learning to treat others with respect he will learn to respect himself again too. There is nothing he may have done that is not forgiveable, just ask God :o)debbie mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13500909471875374939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-71756914544325156752011-04-25T10:25:17.554-04:002011-04-25T10:25:17.554-04:00I have one too....she moved out and lives with oth...I have one too....she moved out and lives with other girls but has no direction or motivation.<br />She graduated from college near the top of her class, she works sometimes but only in minimum wage jobs with no benefits...she has had no medical insurance for 10 years.<br /><br />Here are the things I am grateful for....she is healthy, she is not on drugs, she is not in jail, she does not have children, she has a huge circle of friends and they take care of one another, she loves us and visits often and I give her unconditional love. I can not live her life for her. <br /><br />She has been given every opportunity to succeed in life and now it is up to her...she is 30 years old.<br /><br />I pray for her everyday but let her live her own life. We are not responsible for our adult children, just love them and let them figure it out.<br /><br />Happy Spring, Happy Sewing<br />I feel your pain Bonnie.<br />Big HugsKimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05430521425239584348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-26161966100831226932011-04-25T09:49:44.059-04:002011-04-25T09:49:44.059-04:00oh Bonnie I'm right there with you I have a 2...oh Bonnie I'm right there with you I have a 23yo son with disabilities who will always be with us and is working very hard at a job cleaning windows 2x week. But I have 2 daughters that are breaking my heart. As each one turned 18 they also turned "wild" doing totally the opposite of everything we taught them and brought them up to believe. Both have dropped out of college abandoning FULL RIDE scholarships for menial jobs at min wage living in shared apts with boyfriends who have even less ambition. I know the economy is bad, but life and the future is not as hopeless as they seem to think! The hardest part is having to just sit here and watch the trainwreck happen. They are "adults" with their own lives on their own now and can do whatever they want!HelenMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17945119739531584638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-15499805800428357432011-04-25T09:28:37.141-04:002011-04-25T09:28:37.141-04:00Dear Bonnie, This is so tough. I know. My son has ...Dear Bonnie, This is so tough. I know. My son has a different set of problems, but he has problems and also suffers from depression. When they are grown up you can't solve everything for them anymore, but you want to so much. I do think seeing a good therapist would probably help him.Thickethouse.wordpresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17187303460677067276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-2987240316395901722011-04-25T08:34:50.646-04:002011-04-25T08:34:50.646-04:00Bonnie, been where you are and it has turned out o...Bonnie, been where you are and it has turned out ok. Hubby said a switch would flip when he turned 21, took a couple of extra years. He has been on his own and works the video game industry for the last 5 years. Now says he wants a family at 30 but will need to find a mother/wife and not sure how to do that. They do all turn out differently but still need the love and support. Best of luck to you and him. Joan in MSJoaninMShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09549075202066136645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-64699605513262899462011-04-25T08:17:09.301-04:002011-04-25T08:17:09.301-04:00Bonnie, I feel for you. I have the same situation...Bonnie, I feel for you. I have the same situation, so know that you are not alone. I get so frustrated sometimes, but really there is nothing I can do. Just know that you are appreciated for what you do and have much support.<br /><br />JudyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-29856848929673496822011-04-25T03:48:30.728-04:002011-04-25T03:48:30.728-04:00Oh Bonnie, I can't relate since my daughters a...Oh Bonnie, I can't relate since my daughters are 9 and 7, but I sure sympathise and hope everything will turn out right eventually. Sending lots of positive vibes and prayers.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01322650387912154048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13569819.post-62795833394209352962011-04-25T02:28:15.275-04:002011-04-25T02:28:15.275-04:00Bonnie, I totally understand as we were there with...Bonnie, I totally understand as we were there with our son. He did not finish high school and we seemed to fight all the time. We went to family counseling and did the tough love. He is now grown (matured) and has 2 years of college under his belt, married and a home owner. The tough love was more than "tough"... but it worked for us. The other option in these days is The Job Corps...a federal funded privately run vocational school & GED program for 16 to 24 year olds who need to find their way. There is no cost, in fact they pay the student to go to school (like an allowance), train them and help them find a job. There is over 100 schools in the U.S. My husband works at one here in California and sees kids from all walks of life. He has seen some wonderful success stories. Wish you all the best, and things will get better!!Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10089306449534409540noreply@blogger.com