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Thursday, January 05, 2017

Daddy Daughter Day

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It’s a fruity abundance in Arizona!

The citrus is ripening on the branches, and it is all I can do to keep myself from plucking fruit off of dad’s neighbors' trees, peeling it on the spot and continuing on my way with juice dripping off my chin.

Oranges, both navel and seeded, grapefruits, tangelos and kumquats everywhere you look. It’s an oasis of vitamin C guaranteed to chase away the winter blues.

One of my favorite things to do while visiting Dad is to head out in the morning and walk the trails that weave around several small lakes in the center of the community.

Following the sidewalk wherever it goes, winding from one area to another and stopping to greet other walkers –

Some with dogs in tow, and some without.

Some with golf carts, larger dogs keeping pace beside their owners as they drive.

All stopping to chat and say hello, shoot the breeze, catch up with news -- this is life in a retirement community.
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Beautiful abundance!

There is just something about older grandpa types, walking small dogs in sweaters that just makes me giggle.  Big beefy guys wiht soft hearts.  Just too fun. My walk took longer than it should have because I was stopping to greet the 4 legged babies, scratch their ears and receive my share of sniffs and kisses. 

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Ducks sunning on the grass!

It was a brisk and sunny 50 degrees with temps on the rise when I headed out.  The water must have been a bit chilly for the native “thin blooded” duck variety!  Not a bird in the water, just sunning on the shore.

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More evidence I’m not in Carolina anymore!

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This photo was texted home!

Of course I was underhandedly trying to make the home crowd jealous, palm trees, green grass (newly mowed and smelling fresh cut!) water, blue skies and sunshine all in one photo –but it seems like home is “suffering” a warm snap with a high around 60 as well.  Oh well, I tried!

It was an awesome day to take time to visit with dad, catching up on things since the last time we saw each other a year ago, and we headed out around 4pm to catch a matinee. Passengers was a great movie and I really enjoyed it no matter what the critics said.

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Of course the company was top notch!

Today is a busy full double duty day, the first of 2017 with the Nimble Thimbles guild in Chandler!

If you are coming for my lecture this evening, we’ve got an interesting situation that was just revealed yesterday – I am not allowed to sell books or merchandise in the facility that the guild has booked for my lecture, which is not their usual site.  The fine print just made known after I had already sent 11 cases of books and merchandise ahead for this venue.

Brain storming occurred yesterday afternoon and since the facility  is next to a school, there will be a “trunk sale” in the school parking lot BEFORE and AFTER the lecture.  So if you are coming, come on over and see me next door before I run over to present my program, and then come back out to the parking lot to visit afterwards! (Bring a flash light! LOL!)

We try to keep things as real and as fun as we can, and this is another situation where I am choosing to act with an alternative instead of react to a bad situation I  have no control over.  We are going to have FUN.  And this leads in to the next thing I want to talk about:

One of the things I’ve not gotten around to doing this year is to post my buzz word, my focus word for 2017.

I had a hard time narrowing down what I really wanted to do, and I came across this quote by George Bernard Shaw that settled it for me:

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My word is ACT.
not REACT.

This applies so well to this lecture upheaval situation.

When life throws me whammies it’s easy to get caught up in being defensive, feeling the need to explain myself to set things right, justifying why I did what I did or why I feel a certain way or that something is not fair.  Being defensive often doesn’t help.

When people are unkind, leave insensitive comments, or are quick with a sharp email because they have misunderstood something  or didn’t take the time to learn the full story, both sides– or when others broadcast half truths and twisted facts to make you look bad in front of others, or whatever the case may be, it’s hard to not automatically want to jump in and straighten folks out with ALL the facts and the full story to justify where you’ve been wronged and misrepresented.

But that rarely works. Often times that makes the situation worse, and you are taking on the same behavior as the offender. (Rolling with pigs as the saying goes) The delete button has become my best friend, and I will continue to use it liberally- literally and figuratively in my life.

Instead of feeling provoked to react, I will ACT in other positive ways and maybe WAIT on the knee-jerk react impulse.

‘Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?”
~Lao Tzu

There are things we have control over.  There are things we don’t. We can’t control the actions or reactions of others, but we can control how we choose to act ourselves.

Delete and Breathe.

Start today!


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32 comments:

Barbara Sheffield said...

Great idea to use the school parking lot. Have a great day!

Laura said...

I think if I were a quilt teacher, I'd be a snowbird: teach in the south during the winter and the north during the summer.

Cathy Means said...

Enjoy your time and soak up what sunshine you can get while here in Arizona. And do sneak out and get a piece of fruit ... I'm betting there is more than enough to share!

Unknown said...

Your post today is great. I totally agree with your act - not react mindset. As a high school teacher, I get better responses from both teachers and students when they know I am not reacting negatively but always will want the best effort from them. Happy actions new year! Sandra

Sewgranny said...

Well said Bonnie, deleting sounds awesome, I started it on facebook a few months ago and am trying to stay positive and upbeat no matter the situation....my mama always says "where there's a will there's a way" to make good of a bad situation or problem, step back before you react!!!!

Amy said...

Very insightful and so true.
So glad you were able to spend time with your Dad.

Grammydiane said...

Thanks for the scenery nice view to walk and visit. Enjoy your Daddy, much success on your lecture. From Jacksonville, Florida.

Ann in the UP said...

I'm so happy that you are getting a great visit with your dad, along with your quilting gig. Your word sounds great.m it is what I need to do in my email and on Facebook. Don't get upset, just keep scrolling and do Not React. Good advice for all of us.

Kimberly Duncan said...

As you know- you can't please everyone. I find myself over explaining, like i have to justify my feelings & actions. People that know & love you don't need explanations. They know you have a good heart. The people that make things an issue are going to make issues no matter what you do. I've learned to stay true to God, family & myself. The people causing problems are the ones with problems- being judgmental & critical. Thank you for reminding me of that. I think it gives them power to keep you feeling down or to second guess yourself. Keep doing what you do!
My son is in college in AZ ( from OH)and he lives in Prescott & I wanted to go see you & him soo badly! Hopefully next time!!

Lonnie Drahos said...

I think my word will be POSSIBILITIES...just imagine all the possibilities for 2017!

momhulk said...

Very good advice, Bonnie. I'm going to make a little plan with "ACT! - (not react)" to put on the wall next to my sewing machine. I also think it is colder here in Texas right now than in Florida.⛈

Jen @ de Jong Dream House said...

I just missed you! We were in Wickenburg for the holidays. Now I have some catching up to do on my mystery quilt!

My word for 2017 is grateful. There is always something to be grateful for, and I want to be mindful about recognizing those things and showing gratitude for them.

Sandy Zlotkowski said...

Amen! Act instead of reacting works for me. Happy New Year and Happy 2017!

Sherry Foley said...

As a child I live in Arizona. Back then I thought most people grew those oranges, tangaloes, grapefruit and lemons so we all something to munch on when walking to school. We always helped ourselves to what we could eat during our walk. We did not waste and always said good morning and thank you. It never crossed my mind that a neighbor would mind. Tee hee!

Colleen said...

I, too, live in AZ :) Enjoy your time here in the Valley of the Sun :) I saw on the weather channel this morning that the Carolinas are going to get a lot of snow and very cold temps! Soak up as much sun as you can before you go home.

Kristi said...

You are such a wise soul! Good luck with your adventures tonight!

Aliceart said...

Love this quote! Thank you.

Suan said...

It is always better to ACT than to be Acted Upon. Enjoy you time with your dad.

Mary said...

I'm happy to read a good review on that Movie. I use that "HIDE" button on Facebook a LOT lately. Acting is always a good thing rather than re-acting. Good word! Hope you sell lots of books. Did you take some Essential Tools to sell also? You will have happy ladies there.

mgquilts said...

Bravo to you, Bonnie. Don't lower yourself to their level. God bless you in your wisdom.

lvkwilt said...

My parents lived in a retirement community in Mesa for years and I can still smell the orange blossoms from the orchars...what a nice memory! Hope you enjoy every minute with your Dad!

shoshu said...

way to go Bonnie, "act, not react", why should we base our feelings, actions and thoughts on what someone else says, does or feels [of course unless i've really done something to hurt someone else], i once saw a poster that said,
"be who you is, or you ain't who you is"!
shoshana

The Noodler said...

I love your buzz word, and I love the IDEA of having a buzz word. You have inspired me to choose "kindness" for my 2017 buzz word.

Bobbie said...

Love, love your attitude, you keep up that beautiful smile and your bright outlook on life. I tell you my day is not complete until I read your daily e-mail which comes to me at about 11:00 pm and it makes me feel so peaceful and happy as I am sure it does many of your other loyal followers. You go right ahead and use that delete button anytime you want and we can quietly say prayers for those unhappy souls who lash out without thinking. Enjoy your dad, he looks just as happy as you are, must be in the genes. :)

Jollygirl said...

Bonnie, thank you so much for your post. It was a great reminder for me. I have been ill for over a year now and because I am I'll, I tend to react and often overreact to situations. This isn't how I want to be and your post helped me to realize that feeling poorly is no excuse. So, my word for 2017 is going to "act" also.

Donna Endresen said...

Thank You so much, Bonnie!
Great Buzz Word's to Act and not REACT!

Donna
Kasilof, AK

Ann said...


Atta girl.

Quilting Cheri said...

May the fun (and sales) be double! Love the post!!

Mary said...

I can see where you get your great smile, it's a Dad smile.

Unknown said...

It was great that you were able to spend time with your father. My father died when he was 55 -- I was 30. That was back in 1973. I visit him in my memories which brings a smile to my face. Nancy A: rangerer@sbcglobal.net

Tina W said...

My mom had several wise words for me as I was growing up. The "act, don't re-act" was one, along with "No one can get your goat unless you show them where you tied it up!". But my favorite one is, "Don't worry what people think of you because they seldom do!".
Have a great visit with your dad and a fun time teaching/lecturing in Arizona!
Tina in Oregon

Barb Ostermeier said...

I have learned and am trying to always remember to say "Let me think about that." It lets others know that I am not ignoring the situation but also gives me time to think of possibilities and not just give a knee jerk reaction. I agree. I will concentrate on action not reaction.