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Thursday, June 02, 2011

Early Morning Waterway Run…..


In Texas, or anywhere in the south in the heat of the summer months for that matter….if you want to get out for a good bit of leg stretching and lung filling, you’ve gotta do it EARLY!

This morning I was up and at it at 6am – could it be because my body is still on east coast time, thinking it was 7am? Probably! But a quick glance out my window told me the day had dawned bright and beautiful and I was really wanting to throw my running shoes on and go explore!

The area that I am in is very close to the Woodlands Waterway! SO off I went, ipod blaring, heart pumping --- Let’s GO!

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I wasn’t really sure how to access it…..and found myself going ACROSS it with out seeing how to get down there! OOPS! But I could see runners and joggers and walkers, and dogs curious about the ducks also out enjoying the morning!

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I scrambled down an embankment and got close enough to scare this little duck off the sidewalk!!

It’s truly a beautiful area down here! And I only had time to go in one direction, so in no means did I see enough of it at all, but I did enjoy what I did see!

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It’s quite the tourist attraction I understand! Here I came across where they keep the water taxis. Can you imagine this at night with all the lights lit up?

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I love refections on water…..it looks like double decker upside down taxis :cD

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I wish I had time to go the whole route! There are maps scattered here and there….I’m not sure where the “you are here” dot is on the map…..

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If you get a chance to come visit this area, don’t forget to take some time out for the beauty of this man made river! There are shops and restaurants all over, and everything is so beautifully landscaped.

I made my way back to my hotel – my goal was to get in 5 miles this morning, but I was stopped short at 4.31 – when I tripped over the curb :c(

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Yes, Houston, I do believe we had a PROBLEM! How does a person trip over a CURB!? My guess is I was off looking somewhere else, taking in all the wonders of the morning, and WHAM! We will survive. Life just leaves marks, no way around it!

Sometimes those marks are plainly visible like the scrapes on my knee ---

Sometimes those marks are the things we keep locked deep inside. And I have those too. Today I am remembering the birth of my daughter, Heather 29 years ago. I’ve posted little about her before, and her short but very precious life. There have been years when I’ve dreaded this day. There have been years when I cried and lost myself in weeks of depression surrounding this day. Then there was the year I was so crazy swamped ((I think I was in Massage school at this point)) that the day flew by without remembrance and then I was mortified, feeling like a terrible parent for forgetting such a day!

Today? I’m celebrating her little life. All 17 days of it. Remembering what it was like to hold her in my arms, to smell her sweet newborn baby smell, the feel of her soft downy hair on my face as I planted kisses on her sweet head.

It’s true. I’m forever changed because of the part she played in my life, however short it was. I remember vividly carrying her safe in my belly. I remember the wonder as I felt her move for the first time. I remember how hilarious I thought it was when she got hiccups inside my belly.

Happy Birthday, honey. I love you. I miss you. For such a short time, you were mine. I will never be too busy to forget. Not Ever.

And I am also celebrating the fact that I have two wonderful sons who make me so proud. I love them like the air that I breathe, they are my foundation, my heart and my home.

Someone asked me recently how is it I seem so upbeat all the time. It’s a choice. Really. And I honestly think that once I gave up trying to control situations I had no control over – once I accepted there were things I couldn’t change, I became less viscerally connected to things that I couldn’t control.

It’s that serentiy prayer – Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It works. Really.

And I’m going to be late if I don’t post this and get down to the lobby! I’m being picked up like NOW!

34 comments:

  1. I know the pain of losing a child. My youngest son died 2 years ago from cancer. I totally understand what you wrote. I, too, am forever a changed person. I like to look at it as a good thing that has made me grow and widen my outlook on life. Keep on jogging Bonnie and watch out for those curbs. May you have a blessed day.
    Leslie in CA

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  2. The Waterway and Market Street are lovely in the early morning (and evenings)....glad you got in your run, and so sorry about the curb incident. Yikes.

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  3. Love the wisdom you shared today. The Serenity Prayer is a great gem. You are right that it is a choice we make to be positive, and I thank you for the reminder today to make that choice. Such tender thoughts about your daughter! Have a wonderful day celebrating her!

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  4. I've never gone through loosing a child so I don't know what to say except that I think you have the right attitude.
    Ouch on the knee!
    Karen
    http://karensquilting.com/blog/

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  5. When you get a chance, read Mary Oliver's poem called "The Summer Day" You can find it online, I consider it a classic.
    It is one of my favorites and it can be taken so many ways depending on your own thinking. But I find it comforting.

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  6. Hi Bonnie! I have been following your blog for a while now & it has become one of my favorites in my blog roll. The way you travel around, your upbeat commentary & optimism, and your caring comments are all very inspiring. I hope someday that our quilted paths will cross, but until then keep up the awesome work & know that you are much appreciated!
    Heather
    heather-birdcraft@blogspot.com

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  7. Yes, life does definitely leave marks - some not visible. You will live through it, but you will definitely not look the same. I truly believe everyone has a story - thank you for sharing yours - and remembering. My day will always be November 5th and is important enough to remember. Judy C

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  8. I carried an index with the Serenity Pray hand written on it in my pocket all the time when going thru a devastating event in my life. Any time I felt that I couldn't go on for another minute, I'd pull it out and read it. It was such a comfort during that time. I will still recite it in times of need.

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  9. Thanks for taking me on tour with you. I hope your knee is better soon, I hate when I fall. Enjoy the rest of your stay in Texas and keep smiling.

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  10. Hi Bonnie

    I am sending you hugs,your comments brought a tear to my eye, but they also brought inspiration. We can sometimes get so wrapped up in out own issues that we forget that there is no one out there with a so called "perfect life" we just need to make the best of what we have. I was thrilled when you came to the Wyltwick guild to find out that you were the person i thought you were going to be. You are a great teacher and you inspire me -- Thanks Lynne

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  11. Yes, we really have little control. I saw a cute saying that said " the reason Mom told you to put clean underwear on without holes everyday was not about if you got in an accident and some one might see them it was about having control over this one small thing everyday"

    Who knows what will come in the next minute of this journey called life we are all on but trying to make it as joyful as possible sure helps.

    I know you are grateful for finding peace surrounding your daughters life and death....my heart goes out to you. I really do admire your positive spirit and the reminder that we all have that same choice to make everyday.

    Have a Blessed day spreading your very own brand of quilting joy and Happy sewing

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  12. Was enjoying "our" run this morning and the peacefulness of it all, but somewhere in me (the mother part) said to you, "please be careful taking photos and watch where you are going." Sorry I didn't say it louder--hope your knee's ok! Thanks for sharing your feelings about your daughter--very special to be a part of her birthday remembrance! Somewhere she is smiling and remembering you too!

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  13. Such a sweet remembrance for the difficult loss, Bonnie! She knew she was loved, before she left you.

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  14. The Waterway looks absolutely beautiful,
    what a sight to see early in the am.
    Thanks for being you, Bonnie and
    sharing your journey. Sorry about the curb
    sometimes those things just jump out.

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  15. Nothing like a Mother's LOVE. Thank you for sharing. You don't Blog much about your family. I hope your day is, like the view on your run...Beautiful.

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  16. Those we love stay in our hearts forever

    {{{{hugs}}}}

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  17. Thinking of you on this bittersweet day. We had to say "goodby for now" to our first grandchild at birth, but would not take anything for getting to hold and rock him on that day.

    Hope the knee is much better soon...maybe Donna has a point, sounds like a "Mother Thing"!

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  18. I know the waterway well and it is beautiful at nite with all the lights. Sorry about the knee but I can relate. Oh too well. I'm in a walking boot. I found the hole under the grass. :o) I've never lost a child but I can only imagine the pain. Thanks for sharing that part of your life.

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  19. Oh Bonnie...so sorry you had to experience the loss of a child. My heart breaks for you and I admire you even more since I am not sure how one endures that kind of pain. Happy Birthday Heather!

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  20. I recently saw this and now have it hanging by my desk:

    "Happiness is a Direction,
    it is NOT a Destination."

    We make of life what we choose. I was just telling my 16 year old soon to be daughter that she can choose to be happy. If we allow our happiness to be determined by the things we have or the people we know, our happiness can be stolen. If we choose to be happy, we'll be happy.

    Love your posts...
    Paul
    www.OutnumberedQuilter.com

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  21. Oh, Honey,
    I'm SO sorry your knee got hurt and hope it gets well SOON. Keep whatever antibiotic you endure well on it so that it heals up quickly. And, soak it in the tub with some epsom salts whenever you can.
    I've lost wee ones (born too early) and know the feelings about the dates. All the memories flood back.
    My oldest child, Gabriel was born 23 years ago today. He is so smart and funny...inventive.
    I agree that we CHOOSE to be upbeat.
    Lucy~

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  22. Anonymous10:22 PM EDT

    ......and, do you know the rest of the Prayer??

    The Serenity Prayer

    God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.

    Living one day at a time;
    Enjoying one moment at a time;
    Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
    Taking, as He did, this sinful world
    as it is, not as I would have it;
    Trusting that He will make all things right
    if I surrender to His Will;
    That I may be reasonably happy in this life
    and supremely happy with Him
    Forever in the next.
    Amen.

    --Reinhold Niebuhr

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  23. Thanks for sharing, Bonnie....My best to you as you remember those precious 17 days of your daughter's life. God bless you....

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  24. This is why I always read your blog first Bonnie... you share more than just "stuff" - you share your heart! I pray that you will be blessed with many more smiles than tears every time you think of little Heather. I love that you are celebrating her today! She is not gone forever; she will be there when your journey is done!!!

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  25. So sorry to hear that you lost your baby girl. I said a little prayer for her. Thank you for being willing to share her life with us.

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  26. You learn to live with it,you never get over it.Blessings

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  27. a great prayer to live by in mho.
    keeps me sane when things go awry.
    my heart goes out to you....
    enjoy Houston, hope your knee is better today!
    kathie

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  28. As usual, you share from the heart and we love you for that. Thank you. Blessings, Donna

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  29. Bonnie:
    And I have 2 days when I NEARLY lost my sons - one from accidental drowning (1978) and one from ruptured appendix. Both survived and are wonderful caring men. It sometimes haunts me what life would be like without them, so I can appreciate your feelings about your daughter. And that is why we quilt - picking up the pieces of life, and putting them back together in beautiful new patterns. Creating something out of what's left behind. Enjoy your day!

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  30. 31 years ago, I didn't even know I was pregnant. DH rushed me to the hospital, thinking my appendix had ruptured but it was an ectopic miscarriage. I still think about what "might have been". We make ourselves crazy over stupid little things sometimes. Thank you for sharing and for putting things into perspective for me.

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  31. Hi Bonnie,
    It was a pleasure to have met you yesterday in Kingwood, Tx. and hear your trunk-show talk. I truly enjoyed it! I love your quilts and I know I'm going to enjoy your latest book.
    My daughter, Diane, would have turned 28 this July. She was stillborn at 38 weeks of pregnancy. Like you, for many years I dreaded and cried on the anniversary and felt terribly guilty if I remembered at the end of the day her birthday. She changed my life and the way I love and appreciate my three boys, husband, and family.
    I hope your knee is healing well

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  32. Anonymous2:58 PM EDT

    Thanks for sharing about your daughter. I lost one of my beloved daughters when she was only 2 days old. I love babies (I am a neonatal nurse) and I figure this is God's way of making sure I have a baby to love and hold when I am in heaven. dianemrose@comcast.net

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  33. I had a miscarriage, but it's nothing to having a baby and losing it. Heather will always be a part of you. She truly was your child, just like your boys are your children. Happy Birthday Heather.

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  34. Anonymous7:57 AM EDT

    A great read, esp. for Mom's who's lost a baby--Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo.

    His 4 yo son survives surgery with incredilble stories.

    P.S. have tissues handy

    Paula
    pdun776@aol.com

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