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Saturday, July 07, 2007




And for some reason, now I can't add titles to my posts? It won't let me click into that box..oh well!! Live and learn!

I had some time home alone last evening. I was feeling kind of worn out and a bit down over some issues I have going on in my life right now. Let me just say that it is SO true that you can't please all the people all the time. And when you try to bend over backwards to protect your integrity, your professionalism, your character....they just use that opportunity to kick you in the butt. Because of this I have decided to leave a guild I am involved with. Some of the people I will miss. Others...I just can't handle the snide comments, the whispers, and the threats even from one person saying that she will tell everyone within ear shot and beyond of how she was not happy with my services. I'm sure there are other longarmers out there who can commiserate. We've all been there.

Every day I get emails and phone calls from people saying how much they loved the work I did for them. But it only takes one person to tear all that down.

So yes..I was feeling blue, and thought I would get my orphan blocks out and play with them. What I found instead was 30 "jacks and six" blocks (that's the name in block base, I'm sure it has other names) that never got made into anything. Believe it or not, I had plans to make a bed sized quilt out of these 6" little buggers!

I laid them out on the floor, set them 5 by 6....and didn't care that I was setting them asymmetrically. And I kind of like how it leads your eye without the pattern being resolved as if I had set it 8X8 or something. It was together in less than an hour and a half. It soothed my soul and calmed my nerves.

I could reiterate to myself that I am not a complete failure, that I do good work, the best I can do, I did the best that I could, I unquilted (which took months) and requilted (which took a lot of time) and it was a job I was proud of. You really can't please all the people all the time.

What's that song "You know you can't please everyone so you've gotta please yourself...." Sewing this little ditty last night was therapy for me.

I found a piece of black/cream toile in the stash that will work perfect for the backing.It has large farm scenes on it...I don't know how I would use it for anything else..maybe borders...but it will be fun as a back for this.

I'm off to work..two massages this morning, and then I'll be back to the quilting machine this afternoon.

Bonnie

31 comments:

Ila said...

The expression "Some people you couldn't make happy if you hung 'em with a brand new rope" comes to mind.

The toile is perfect for the back! You have the most amazing things in your stash. It must be interesting to observe your fabric shopping.

dot said...

Great quilt came out of your therapy. Some people just aren't happy uless they are unhappy. Life is funny that way. Keep your chin up and go on. Easier said than done. It is funny how one person can spoil everything. Enjoy the day.

anne bebbington said...

Take no notice Bonnie - you are appreciated by thousands of people out there both for your long-arm work and your blog/website. Some people can be so spiteful - ignore them and stand tall :o) (((HUGS)))

Julia said...

I for one, continue to be amazed at your talent and creativity. I have never seen anything made by you that I don't like!!! Thanks for sharing your talent with us and never stop. I want to make every quilt that you do! LOL

Lazy Gal Tonya said...

that quilt was just a misery from beginning to end, wasn't it. don't worry - that one person can't hurt you. You've done far too many fabulous quilts for too many of us for that to be a problem. You're an incredible sewer, quilter and longarmer. Love the little quilt - great colors.

QuiltMom said...

Bonnie, I love your site - I am always amazed at how much you get accomplished - you are a wonderful quilter and very generous to other quilters by sharing your ideas and expertise- don't let one person spoil it for you- I am sure that your guild would really feel your loss- I hope today is a better day. Your new quilt is lovely as always- You make very interesting quilts and help feed others' creativity. Thank you for that gift.
Regards from a Western Canadian quilter, Anna

Judy said...

Bonnie, I don't think you'll ever know the full extent of the positive impact you've had on the quilting world. I'm sure there are quilters all over the world who have benefited from your knowledge, expertise and willingness to share. Don't ever let one person get you down!

As far as the longarm quilting, we all have our different styles. I look at some quilting jobs and I think I'd be so disappointed if they were done on my quilts - not because the work is bad but it just isn't my style. I know I do good work but I also know that not everyone is going to like what I do. You're right - you can't please all the people all the time but someone who isn't happy with you or what you've done just isn't worth you spending one blue moment!

At least you made something positive of it and finished a beautiful top!

Thanks again for all you do for all of us!

Mary said...

Just another reason I'm grateful that I don't quilt for hire! I figure family members can't complain - they don't pay so they can either be happy with what I quilt or not send me any more tops.

I personally love your quilting and quilts - focus on the hundreds of quilters that appreciate your work.

T said...

Bonnie,

You are such a blessing to so many quilters, your patterns, passion, and creativity are an inspiration.

Your longarm quilting always looks amazing! Some people like to tear others down to make themselves feel better. It does still hurt though.

The new quilt is beautiful! Way to go!

Tracy in Virginia

Elaine Adair said...

Oh Bonnie, what would all of us Quilters and bloggers do without you? You just can't please everyone, and ... maybe that customer was having a PMS day/week, whatever. I've heard negative remarks about one of my guild members who does incredibly gorgeous machine work also, so I guess the complainers just want to complain.

We all love you and your work and your blogging!

Love the toile .. and of course, your quilt top. Do you ever have any quilts that YOU would call "a failure" design-wise?

Hanne said...

In Norway we have a saying about people like that - but I do not know if it will translate well.
Something like : Their envy is bigger than their ability to love.
Pffft on them!

Lovely quilt top :-)

Anonymous said...

Bonnie,Let the thing talk all she wishes. She will reveal her own personality (or lack thereof) just by running her mouth. On the one side we have her and her mouth. On the other side we have all your satisfied customers, your productivity speaks for itself my dear...and you don't put out crap!!! Your website and blog shows that you are professional yet passionate about this vocation. Go have something with a little paper umbrella sticking out of it, girl!!! It'll all be just fine!! Lori in VA

Ms. Jan said...

Bonnie,
Even though we've never met IRL, I've known you for over 10 years and over those years I've learned of your integrity and honesty and desire to do the best you can as a long-armer. Obviously, this was a wonky quilt from the get-go, or it would be a masterpiece now and she wouldn't be yapping. You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear, right? Chin up. Your creativity and generosity are known all over the world with the beautiful quilts you make and the patterns you so generously share. Hang in there and don't let the turkeys get you down!

Charissa said...

Even though I don't know the whole story, just from the bit you said, it sounds like she is the type who no one could make happy. I haven't sent anything in to you yet, but I've read over your guidelines on quiltville many times, and it seems to me you state yourself pretty darn clearly. I'd feel priveleged to have you quilt on anything of mine, I think your work is beautiful.

Tazzie said...

Bonnie, there are so many thousands of people who love the work you do, and are inspired by your creativity and enthusiasm. These people are the world over, and I personally know many many people who have never 'met' you and sing your praises. There is no way that one single person could tear that down.Just keep doing what you do best, with your head held high, and people will see right through her unkind words.
Love you to pieces hon, you've revolutionised my quilting world!
*hugs*
Tazzie
:-)

Mrs. Goodneedle said...

Oh, Bonnie; I am sorry to hear you've been blue over this. I went through something so similar last year when I was co-chair of NC Quilt Symposium. It still makes me crazy to think how folks I had never even met would come up to me and say (during the event, for crying out loud); "Now, don't take this the wrong way, I know you worked really hard and everything... but, you know this would be a better symposium if you had done this, this and this...". Huh? You've got to be kidding me, right? I guess I learned the same lines to the song you're singing now. I'm sorry you had to leave the guild, though. You always please me here, I love your blog posts, your patterns and your tips. You do so much for so many.

mereth said...

What a song of praise in your comments Bonnie. Does that make you feel better? I posted on my blog about some of the things that have been said to Keryn and me, and you just have to ignore them.
Anyone who knows you professionally would set no store in this sort of sniping.

Kim said...

Love that quilt top! Great job, as usual! I've had the same problems with blog titles the last two days. I find if I click around often enough, eventually I can click into the title. Pain in the you-know-what but it doesn't really take that long.

Dawn said...

I can't do titles either - so it isn't you!

I LOVE that toile! It is going to be a wonderful backing. And if you didn't use it I was going to snatch it away from you! :)

Just know I LOVE your work and think you are the most talented quilter! I want to be you if I ever grow up!

atet said...

Bonnie -- some of the best advice I ever got from my father was:

Illigitimi non carburundum (sp?)

Which roughly translated from the latin means -- don't let those of illigitimate birth grind you down. It just sounds so much better in latin.

Honestly -- I've had to learn this from student reviews of the classes I teach (and teenagers who are barely "adults" are one tough audience), you cannot please everyone. Some will look for fault no matter if you stand on your head and sing the Star Spangled Banner for them. Of course, those that complain the loudest are usually the ones who did poorly and/or chose to be miserable. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

Bonnie,
I am leaving this comment as anonymous, but, I think you will figure out who it is. All of you out there in blogland are right about the quality and committment to the "job", that Bonnie has. I am in the group she is leaving, and while we are not a ginormous group, her absence will be noticed and missed. I have asked her to stay, but I also understand the hurt feelings she has, and I know the person who is causing them. Bonnie and I have also be run aground my another group member, and while it is even hard for me to attend guild meetings, I am closer geographically than Bonnie, so I still go. But, Bonnie, you know you have lots of friends in the guild, and you and I have "survived" one assailant, you can survive this other one. Your work stands for itself, we need you, we enjoy you, please reconsider, and know you are well liked and appreciated in the guild.

Darcie said...

You, my dear, are a mover and a shaker in this fast-paced world.

Shake *her* off...and move on!!!

I know...it's easy for me to say that...usually you're the one encouraging me to stand tall. You've done far too much good in your life and your career and with your passions to let *her* trouble you. Her quibbles will soon be forgotten by all who have listened...and your work will continue shine.

{{{A big hug of understanding and friendship for you.}}}

Anne-Mette said...

Hi Bonnie.
This is the very first time that I leave a note in your blog. I take a look almost every day to see if there is anything new :-).
Thank you very much for sharing so many great quilts and quiltpattern with us. I love your scrapquilts.
The backing fabric is fantastic! I also like the quilt very much.
Feeling blue - oh yes, I do understand you, but there is only one thing to do - shake your head and shoulder and forget all about the lady. I know it might not be as easy. But life is now and then a little too hard to us ...somehow we manage to get through it.
Greetings from Denmark
Anne-Mette
PS: I alse had trouble adding a title in my blog; but I clicked on "Title" and I came into the box, where I write titles.

GRACE said...

bonnie, so sorry to hear you are having a down day. anyone would feel the same in your situation, and most of us have been there at some point. comes with the territory of being people i'd say

Julie aka "Quilt Diva" said...

I love this quote - "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
(Helen Keller) Don't let the little people get to you...

Helen said...

Human nature being what it is, "we" love to criticise from the sidelines!. I'm sorry you are leaving your guild. You would make the other woman much more uncomfortable (as well as showing her you are not going to be downed by this incident) if you stayed, hard as that would be. Chin up!

meggie said...

How spiteful & cruel some people can be. I always think it is because they feel inadequate themselves.
I also think you should do whatever you feel is right for you. Life is too short to make yourself miserable.

mamaspark said...

Sounds like a case of jealousy to me...You are so much better than that, and apparently well loved by all of us that read your blog and those of you who know bonnie IRL. I find your work incredibly inspiring and use some of your work as examples for my quilt group. Thanks for all you do for the rest of us!

Kathie said...

You are so right about the destructive force of one negative voice. It can undo a lot of positivity that has been carefully built up. I've been through something like that too.

A previous commenter mentioned the positive impact you've had on quilting in general and how you'll probably never know how many quilters you've influenced. She's right.

Hang in there. Better days are coming.

Quilty Girl said...

You've "heard" this many different ways now, but please do your best to not let this person bother you. My guess is she is jealous of you in some way. It IS painful when you are so giving and creative and FUN as you are and to then have someone come along and be plain mean. I have told everyone in my quilt group that your website is my favorite and I think you would be a blast just to hang out with as well (quilting, of course!). BTW, our group almost broke up once over someone being just this way to one of our most creative and prolific quilters and somehow, we were able to get through it. I hope things turn out well in the end for both you and the group. I'm sure they would hate to lose you!

Anonymous said...

This is the first time I am writing to you and just to let you know how much you have inspired me into making scrap quilts. I never realized how much you can do with scraps which I love until I discovered your site unexpectedly, I am here in Germany and am just so glad to have discovered you and many more since then. You are right in saying you can never please everybody but most people do love and appreciate you. I can feel your hurt, but your new quilt does prove once again that you do know what you are doing and are a professional in every sense of the word.
mariese